The Magician's Assistant
by Asanouta
Summary: Tyki's assistant has just run away, and he needs to find a new one or the show can't go on! Just so happens he stumbles upon an alluring yet bad-tempered slave. Doesn't sound too good... For Kanda, that is. TyKan, TykixKanda, rated for angst and rape.
1. Chapter 1 The New Assistant

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man and all of its characters belong to Katsura Hoshino and not to me.

AN: I was watching a magic show somewhere and the magician reminded me strongly of Tyki. So I just started thinking, what if poor Kanda was trapped as Tyki the magician's assistant?

* * *

**The Magician's Assistant**

**Chapter 1 – The New Assistant**

The tall man in a sleek tux strode backstage, removing his tall hat and letting his well groomed hair down. The applauds of the audience and the screams of adoring women still rang out behind him. He let out a sigh of relief, thankful that the show was finally over.

'_Another job well done... My, my, the audience seems to love me, don't they?'_

A blonde girl ran up after him, nearly tripping over her high heels and fluffy pink skirt. "Mr. Mikk, you forgot your coat!"

Tyki looked back at his assistant, and gave a faint smile that would have caused many ladies to faint at the spot. "Thank you, Maria. I wonder how I'll do without you..."

Maria just smiled and handed the magician his coat. "The great Tyki Mikk can't even remember little things like this... That's what an assistant is here for, right?"

"Speaking of which, didn't you request for half a day off? The show's over, you can go now. But I need you back here by 6, ok?"

"Thanks. I'll take my leave then, Mr. Mikk."

Tyki watched his assistant leave. He gave a sigh and entered his dressing room, hanging his coat on a clothes stand beside the door. The room was rather well kept, with the exception of many bouquets of flowers and cards strewn over the table.

The handsome magician gazed into the mirror in front of him as he undressed. Tyki Mikk, one of the well loved and well known magicians of all time, famous for his astounding tricks and not to mention, his stunning looks. Tyki was well known for his disappearing acts and for daring escapes from chains and locked boxes. Well, no one has to know about his powers, did they? They only gasped and admired his wonderful performances. After all, amazing skills and charming looks, Tyki was a performer through and through.

Tyki's eyes wandered to the clock hanging above him. There was some time left before dinner, he could take a short nap before that, and by then, Maria would have returned. There were some things he needed to assign his assistant before leaving for dinner later.

Sinking into a large armchair, Tyki felt himself drifting off to sleep. That show earlier had taken a lot out of him; it wasn't easy trying to maintain a cool composure for the audience. But then again, it was fun, knowing that countless were mesmerised by his every action. Tyki smiled to himself as he closed his eyes.

* * *

The clock struck 9, the chimes waking him up. Tyki shook himself, trying to get the sleep out of him. He glanced irritable at the clock, only to have his jaw drop when he saw the time.

'_Shit, I've been asleep for so long? The Earl will kill me for being late for dinner...'_ He stood up and called for his assistant.

"Maria! I need you here! Where are you?"

There was no answer. "This is weird, where could that girl be? She should have been back by 6, and why didn't she wake me up then? She seems to be slacking in her job recently..." Tyki muttered to himself.

He called again, but when there was no answer, Tyki stormed out into the corridor. He was going to make sure that she heard him this time.

Flinging Maria's room door open, he didn't even bother to knock. But what greeted him was an empty room. And by empty, it wasn't just no humans. It was seriously empty. The room had been cleared out, only some papers and furniture strewn all over the place, as if somebody had left in a tremendous hurry. Tyki stared blankly for a few minutes until the rage settled in again.

"What the hell? What's going on here?" He kicked a fallen chair furiously, his face still unusually calm, but one could tell that the man was seething with rage. Tyki could be very scary when he was mad. He tried to recall past weeks. Maria was definitely acting rather distant for at least a month, and taking leaves more than the regular.

"That bitch. She must have run away... Oh damn..." Tyki went back to his room. He checked the place where he kept his money. Right, just as he expected, it was empty. "Damn that bitch. She's been planning this for a while, I could tell. Ungrateful brat... Now what do I tell the manager? The show can't go on without the magician's assistant..."

As Tyki stalked off to inform the manager, he couldn't help but smirk. He had already been suspecting his assistant's strange behaviour recently so he took some security measures against anything that might happen. Maria doesn't have to know that Tyki keeps his money elsewhere, and that he could obtain counterfeit notes from more than one source anyway.

* * *

As Tyki expected, the manager wasn't pleased. "Why did you just let her run away like that?"

"Not my fault. The bitch just wanted a break, I guess. Wasn't in my power to stop her."

"I don't care, Tyki Mikk. You get a new assistant in 3 days or you pay me to get you a new one. And I'm definitely charging a double price."

Tyki raised one eyebrow. "Fine, fine. I'll do whatever you say. I'll get a new girl, it's not gonna be that hard, is it?" Saying so, he strode out of the room calmly, placing his top hat on his curly hair.

He was fuming inside as he walked on the streets though. 'Find a new assistant... Yeah right... Like I'll ever trust anyone else to take care of my stuff anymore...'

Tyki decided that a walk would do him good. After all, every performance for the next 3 days had been cancelled. Until he could find a new assistant, that is. Tyki shrugged. He wasn't exactly keen on getting back on the job. He would just take as long as he liked. He couldn't care less. Tyki smiled. That's the way he was, and he wasn't going to let anyone else change the way he lived his life. The way he led it, taking all the pleasures he wanted.

"You fucking bastard!" A sudden shout broke through the air.

Tyki glanced towards the sound. He wondered what was happening, so he went over to the direction of the insult. Whoever said it was either incredibly rude, or incredibly uneducated.

At a corner, in the midst of a crowd of people, there were two people. Tyki immediately recognised the scene. One of them was a slave trader, he could tell. And the other must be the slave. The trader must've been the one shouting at the slave, maybe the young teen was being a bit hard to handle. Tyki observed the young slave. Hands bound tightly with a thick rope, shirtless, clothed in only a pair of ragged felt pants. He could only be about 18, his long black hair cascading down his back. He was badly beaten up as well, but his eyes showed defiance so strong Tyki felt it burning as well.

_Those searching eyes..._

"I'll teach you to call me that!" The trader barked at the teen. All the boy did was glare at him and mutter.

"Fuck..."

Tyki smirked. So it wasn't the trader, it was the boy who was yelling all those curse words. Rather bold for someone who was captured and bound. He decided to stay and watch this drama a little longer.

Some of the people watching moved away, muttering something about bad people and bad company. Others seemed interested in buying, but soon left as they couldn't stand the boy's attitude. The trader was furious with his goods.

"Can't you shut up and act civil? I earned a boon today but you're the only one left! Now what am I to do with you?"

"I'm not a slave, idiot..."

His sentence was cut short by a punch in the face. He collapsed on the ground, shaking with rage, his hair spilling around his shoulders, eyes still harbouring that fierce fire...

It struck Tyki that he was beautiful. The young man's hair fell in a lovely way down his shoulders and back, eyes blazing with that somewhat dangerous yet alluring fire. His body was quite well-built as well, old scars marring the surface of the smooth skin. If it wasn't for his attitude, Tyki was sure that he would've been bought already earlier. Even so, Tyki admired that fight in him, and a sudden desire to tame that wild beauty flared up within him. It'll be a challenge he'd most definitely derive pleasure out of.

Besides, it'll be much safer to keep a slave that'll obey orders at all costs. If he could make him, that is.

Tyki stepped forward and greeted the trader. "Good afternoon, my good man. May I inquire his price?"

Both trader and slave looked up in surprise. The trader grinned happily. "Him? He's quite a good worker, as you can undoubtedly see for yourself. Young, and strong. You can't find a better specimen anywhere; I'll give you an offer though."

Before he could finish his offer, the slave snapped once again. "Like hell I'll let you own me!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to strike a deal here!"

"I said I won't! Get your shitting hands off me!"

"Why you..."

Tyki interrupted curtly. "It looks like he can be quite the troublemaker. Can we haggle the price lower?"

The trader stared at Tyki as if he were insane. "As much as I would like to get him off my hands, I'd like to warn you. This crap here can cause more than just trouble for you. He's scared half my customers away since this morning!"

"I assure you, that will be no trouble for me. Just state your price and I'll have him off your hands. So, do we have a deal?"

"Well, you'll find that you're taking on more than you can handle tho..."

Tyki brought out a stack of notes. "Will this do?"

The teen could only stare darkly as he was passed from one owner to a new one. He glared angrily at the well-dressed man in a coat and tall hat. He hated him, loathed him, despised him from the very core of his being. Who was he to just _buy_ him like this?

The deal was sealed and the trader handed over the rope to Tyki. After he left, Tyki kneeled down and looked the slave in the eye.

"Shall we?" He stood up and gave the rope a rough jerk, forcing the boy to walk, which he did, though hesitantly and stumbling. The teen glared at the back of his new master, his mind already devising a plan to try and get away, to try and regain his freedom, his pride.

* * *

They reached home by evening. It was already growing dark outside. Tyki glanced at the boy. He had to tug at his rope countless times and even drag him along quite a few times during the whole walk back. He was beginning to feel that this was going to be harder than he expected.

He had already released his grip on the rope, but the slave just stood there, head slightly down but his gaze still firm, never leaving Tyki. Tyki cocked an eyebrow at his defiance.

"Right, this is your new residence. So, what's your name?"

"Kanda."

"Kanda? Nice to meet you, Kanda..." Tyki put a lot of emphasis on the last word.

"Che."

Tyki smiled. Young as he was, this boy must've been through quite a lot. He obviously suffered a number of beatings ever since his capture. There was even a tattoo or a brand on his chest. Tyki sighed and walked over to him. He didn't even flinch. All Kanda did was just stand there as Tyki came up to him. He shut his eyes. He didn't want to look at his master anymore.

A sudden movement behind him shocked his eyes open. Tyki was gone, but Kanda could feel a pair of hands behind him, gently moving down his bound hands. Kanda didn't dare to move, he was unsure of what to do, how to react.

"You are very beautiful, Kanda..." A voice whispered into his ear.

Kanda froze, wondering how this guy could move so silently and so fast. Kanda didn't even notice Tyki moving behind himself. Those hands moved lower, until they paused over the ropes tying his wrists painfully together.

They were undone swiftly, falling from his sore wrists to the ground. Kanda was shocked, and he quickly rubbed his wrists that were red from the rough rope. He felt a thick coat being placed gently on his shoulders.

"Better? I think that was rather cruel to tie you up so tightly. But then again, I bet they wouldn't have if your mouth wasn't so rude."

Kanda scowled. He still didn't like this man any more than just now. Tyki walked in front of him again.

"Would you like to wash yourself, Kanda? I'll show you where the bathroom is, and then we can get started on your duties as my assistant."

Kanda looked up in surprise. "Assistant?"

"Why yes. That's why I bought you in the first place. I need a new assistant, my former one ran away. And when I saw you, I knew I had to have you... As my assistant of course." Tyki added hastily.

Kanda narrowed his eyes. "You're not going to... Treat me as your slave?"

"I didn't exactly say that. You'll have plenty to do, but I'm not sure whether or not you consider work slavery. It's not easy, I can guarantee that, to be a magician's assistant."

Kanda's jaw dropped. "Magician? What the hell..."

'_I don't know a single thing about magic, damn it! I don't even believe in that crap...'_

He snapped. "I don't know how to perform magic tricks. And I will not pull rabbits out of your tall hat for you. So get this straight, I will not be your assistant."

Before Kanda had any time to react, he was pinned roughly against the wall. A pair of strong hands held his hands fastened against his sides, and he could feel hot breath near his ear. Kanda shivered.

"I don't believe I said you had a choice in this, did I, boy? You are my slave, and you better be thankful that I'm offering you a position close to that of any free man. You had better listen to me, or else..." Tyki whispered into Kanda's ear.

He let him go, and Kanda fell to the ground shaking. He didn't know what was wrong, but somehow Kanda had the feeling that this man was dangerous. Extremely lethal. And Kanda also sensed that he could very well do worse things to him.

All of a sudden, Kanda felt scared. But he wasn't going to let this man know. He decided that his best bet before he could escape was to play along with this seemingly twisted magician.

Oh, and that included becoming his lovely assistant.

* * *

How I enjoy putting Kanda through mental torture by Tyki. I am such a sadist. Tell me what you think of it, I'd love to hear from you.


	2. Chapter 2 Stage Fright

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man no matter how much I love Kanda and Tyki. I can only wish nothing bad would happen to them in the later chapters.

So Kanda is forced to work for Tyki as his assistant. Will he freak out and try to murder him before the show even starts?

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Stage Fright**

Kanda opened his eyes slowly. Every morning when he woke up he would think that he was back at home, waking up to a peaceful morning and soft bed sheets. Then suddenly he would feel the cold wooden floor beneath his bare skin and sometimes a rough rope or shackle locked uncomfortably on his wrist. And he would sit upright in shock, the fear and anger flowing back into him, the humiliation and pain seeping into his soul. And he would remember that he wasn't free anymore...

But this morning was different. Well for one thing, he definitely hadn't been sleeping on wooden floors. For another, he was clothed in a soft flannel shirt, not shirtless as he always was. And he was most definitely not chained up either.

Kanda sat up abruptly. Everything came back to him. He had been dragged across various cities, sold from one trader to the next and finally bought by a weird magician last night. And the man had said that he had bought him to become his assistant.

Kanda groaned. It wasn't that the bed was uncomfortable, it was just that he had gotten so used to sleeping in rough conditions, his body just couldn't register the different, softer feel of the mattress. He did an immediate sweep of the surroundings and found himself in a room that seemed to have been recently vacated. Papers and furniture were strewn everywhere in a mess but the room was still in good condition. It looked as if the previous resident had left in a hurry.

The boy got up and crossed over to the door quietly. It was still dawn, and Kanda meant to use every opportunity he had to find a way of escaping.

As he made his way down the dim corridor, his thoughts floated back to the night before.

* * *

Tyki had let him take a bath, and then given him a fresh set of clothes to wear. He then showed Kanda to his new room, but Kanda was too exhausted to register any of this into his mind. In fact, he was so exhausted he didn't even know how he ended up in the bathroom taking his first real shower in a very long time.

Tyki had watched him, smiling as he took off the coat. He watched the young boy step into the water tentatively, unaware that he was not alone. Tyki stepped out quietly, chuckling as he noticed the boy using soap to wash his hair. Either he didn't know what the conditioners were or he just wasn't used to using them.

After washing up, Kanda put on the shirt and pants that Tyki had left for him, and then made his way to his new owner. He barely heard what the older man was trying to say to him, he was too tired and too pissed off to care. He was also too hungry to bother about what Tyki was feeding him; he hadn't eaten a proper meal for days. All he did was wolf down the food in front of him. And besides, he couldn't find any way out of the blasted bathroom either. One more exit possibility down the drain.

As he got into bed, Kanda resolved to find a way to escape the next day. After he had gotten some rest, that is.

* * *

He cursed inwardly. The door ahead of him was sturdily locked and bolted, and any amount of trying to force it open would make too much noise and attract too much attention, undoubtedly waking Tyki as well. Muttering under his breath, Kanda went off in search of another way out, but all his escape routes were blocked. He guessed that Tyki had thought it unsafe to leave all doors unlocked when there was a new servant in the house. How very clever of him.

Never mind that. Kanda decided that staying here for a little while wasn't that bad after all. Besides, he would get food and lodging, not to mention better treatment than the harsh environment he would face out there. Without money, home, or any way to defend himself in a foreign land, Kanda was as good as dead even if he did escape any way.

He wasn't such an idiot to pass up this chance. Since Tyki was going to play the nice guy, Kanda made a decision that he should play along as well. At least this guy seemed... Humane.

So, he returned quietly to his room and sat on the bed, closing his eyes to meditate for a while and calm his spirits. It shouldn't be too hard to learn to be Tyki's assistant, and gain the man's trust. If he could just earn his trust, Kanda was sure that he would soon let his guard down, enough for him to escape and regain his freedom.

What seemed like an hour later, Tyki called Kanda to his quarters. The Japanese stood sourly in front of him, not lowering his gaze one bit, glaring at Tyki with the same murderous stare since the night before. Tyki smiled to himself. He himself had been up long before dawn, and had heard Kanda checking out the place. Oh, Tyki wasn't ready to let his new assistant escape so easily this time.

"Right, shall we begin, Kanda? In another day's time, my manager would have me continue my show again, and I need to teach you some basics before we do. You'll have to learn more through experience though."

"I can't guarantee anything. I told you, I don't know a single fucking thing about magic."

Tyki made an impatient clucking noise. "Tsk, what did I say about your manners, young man?"

"What?"

"I am still your superior in more ways than one. So please, refer to me in a more... civil way, if you can't manage polite."

Tyki sounded rather dangerous and Kanda decided not to push his luck any further. It would be wiser to get into his good books first, honour and ego later. Kanda gritted his teeth, and after what seemed like a few seconds of internal war, dropped his gaze and exhaled.

"Yes, _sir._" He muttered so fiercely that it sounded more like "Che."

"Good. Now, I'll show you the stage, and you'd better memorise where all the trapdoors are. But no worries, none of them will lead to outside, so no chances there, eh?"

Kanda's eyes snapped up to Tyki again. _'What? Does he suspect anything? No, he'd better not, it'll make my plan harder to carry out then. Shit.'_

Tyki saw anxiety flash past those dark eyes and he smirked. The boy was a mysterious soul all right, and that was exactly what made him so intriguing.

"Let's get a move on, boy. We don't have all day."

* * *

Kanda stared at the dark wooden stage. The atmosphere was eerily quiet, due to the absence of any audience, and as he took a few tentative steps forward, his footsteps echoed loudly off the walls.

And then without warning, the floor gave way beneath his feet and Kanda felt himself falling. Strong arms grabbed him and hauled him out of the trapdoor before he landed in the basement below.

"Watch it. That's why I said I had to teach you about all the trapdoors here. Can't have you breaking your pretty neck, right Kanda?"

Kanda didn't answer. He was still trying to get his heartbeat back to normal, shocked by the trapdoor. He did not even notice the position he and Tyki were in, his body leaning backwards onto Tyki's, safe in his embrace. He was just too scared all of a sudden; he had forgotten how frail his existence actually was.

Tyki was a little taken aback by how long the boy let him hold him in his arms. He couldn't help but notice, as they were sitting on the wooden floor, his pale skin under his collar, the smooth curve of his neck. The boy was really attractive in more ways than one.

Kanda felt Tyki's hot breath down his neck and it seemed to jerk him back into his senses. He pushed away from Tyki frantically and assumed a defensive position from across the floor, glaring daggers at the older man. He was panting fiercely, looks ready to kill, a pose that Tyki found most alluring.

It was Kanda who broke the awkward silence between them first.

"Can we get started with the tutorial, sir?" He muttered the last word rather reluctantly.

Tyki smiled at him. "Sure. Only... Walk a little closer behind me. I wouldn't want to have to drag you out of another pit. Although I find the aftermath rather... Tempting..."

"Che." Kanda looked away from Tyki to avoid shuddering. There was something insanely twisted about him. One minute he seemed like a really nice guy and the other he seemed like some pervert. Kanda sorely wished he could get away from here as soon as possible.

Tyki got up and brushed some dust off his pants. "Right, let's find trapdoor number two, shall we? You found number one in the most adorable way ever."

Kanda scowled and cursed quietly as he got up and followed Tyki. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like trapdoor number two either.

* * *

Kanda's muscles ached all over from the tough work he had been doing all day. Tyki hadn't exactly given him much rest, not because he loved the position of slave driver, but because he himself hadn't enough time too. In fact, Tyki was wondering whether he could pull the feat off with such a moody assistant.

He watched his new assistant tying up some ropes. The boy obviously lived a tough life before he came here, albeit a free one. And judging from the pose he struck earlier when Tyki got a little too close, he was a well-skilled fighter, and still rather deadly even though stripped off both freedom and weapon.

As Kanda worked, he couldn't help noticing that the older man behind him was eyeing him steadily. He tried to shrug the uncomfortable feeling off, but having someone observe you so intently as you were trying to tie something up wasn't that easy.

Tyki noticed his obvious discomfort but continued to ignore it pointedly. As Kanda sat down on the floor panting, his hair falling down his bare shoulders, Tyki's eyes positively glistened.

"Where's my shirt?"

Tyki was startled. He looked to his left and saw where Kanda had left his shirt earlier before he started work. The Portuguese picked it up and tossed it over.

"You're not going to be wearing that for the performance you know."

Kanda nearly dropped the shirt. "Then what _do _you want me to wear?"

Tyki laughed at his shocked expression. "Something pretty, of course."

"Like hell I'll wear a dress!" snapped Kanda. "And stop laughing! It's not funny, damn you!"

Tyki stopped himself laughing long enough to answer. "I won't have you wear a dress, Kanda. But you really can't go on stage in that."

Kanda felt somewhat relieved inside. He was starting to think that this guy was a little too... strange.

"Follow me. I'll get you something to wear."

Kanda sulkily followed him into a room full of clothes. Tyki pulled out a frilly crimson dress and Kanda's jaw dropped in horror.

"How's this? No?" Tyki burst out laughing again. "Just kidding. I wouldn't want to see anyone wearing these again. Reminds me of the bitch who ran away."

Tyki continued his search. Kanda stood there, his eyes taking in the shadows and forms in the room. A though suddenly hit him. He was going on stage, to face people. Lots of people. People that somehow reminded him of his past. He shut his eyes tightly and felt the mark on his chest tingle.

"Right. Put this on. I think you'll look good in that." Tyki brought some clothes along and handed them to Kanda. When the Japanese did not respond, Tyki walked over to him.

"Is something the matter?"

Kanda, who seemed in a trance, snapped out of it and shook his head. "Nothing. Just that... I don't trust the people here."

Memories seeped back into his being, past pains and scars that never healed made him shiver once again. Fire, destroying everything in its path; screams of terror, amidst cold laughter; chains and shackles cruelly taking away everything from him. He hated these aliens, these people who invaded his land, who took away his liberty, and the man standing in front of him was no more human than them.

Or was he?

Tyki pulled him close into a deep embrace, stroking his hair slowly. The sudden move surprised Kanda, but he didn't pull away or anything this time. Tyki was warm and somehow, it brought a wave of relief that washed over Kanda.

"It's ok. Everyone gets stage fright now and then. No one's going to hurt you, nothing will happen. It'll just be another performance, another magic show."

Magic. Kanda never believed in absurdities like that. He lost his faith in miracles when he lost his identity as a person and bore the mark of a slave. But now, a part of him was willing to believe, a part of him hoped, that this man was a true magician.

And he could magically break the chains locking Kanda's heart now.

* * *

The applause outside was rather deafening. Kanda stood backstage, taking in a few deep breaths. He wasn't sure that he could face so many people properly again. Tyki had tried to reassure him and told him that everyone out there was harmless but Kanda was still overcome with stage fright.

He was afraid. He was afraid that those people would laugh at him, scorn him, and humiliate him in front of the entire world. He had the pride of a warrior, but slavery bound him in shackles that even the bravest warrior found hard to break free of. And he was still so young.

He saw Tyki walk out and give a bow. The magician was obviously well experienced and graceful in his movements. He shut his eyes and took one last breath.

'_Just one performance. And maybe I can gain his trust, enough to allow me to escape.'_

He heard his cue. Kanda hardened his gaze, and stepped out into the blinding lights coolly, in front of all those people he hated so much.

* * *

Fluff, eh? Ah well, Kanda's a pretty insecure person in actual fact. Tyki's definitely got his own issues as well. More to come!


	3. Chapter 3 The Show Must Go On

Right, the show is on, so does that mean the fic will end here? Don't think so, there's too much magic going on.

And as a short author's note, this is an Alternate Universe fic, I've just realised what AU stands for. What an idiot I have been. Anyway, it means that the characters are the same but they're in a different dimension or something.

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapter, unless I somehow unexpectedly OWN D. Gray-Man, then yes, the disclaimer will remain pretty much the same.

* * *

**Chapter 3 – The Show Must Go On**

The crowd shifted its attention to the newcomer. As he entered the stage, some giggles could be heard from the young women in the audience. Knowing the reason they were giggling, Tyki could not help but smile.

Everyone expected the new assistant that Tyki had called for to be another pretty girl in a pretty dress. They never expected this tall, cool man with blazing eyes and long hair, in fact, they never expected a man. Some had initially confused him for a girl with his hair, but now it was evident that it wasn't a female.

Clad in an elegant French style black coat, long sleeves laced with white, slender black pants, collar open slightly to reveal the white shirt underneath, Kanda actually managed to look quite sexy, which explains the adoring gasps from the women. He didn't look too manly, but he wasn't feminine looking enough to pass of as a girl. Tyki had done a great job of fitting his clothes. He had also decided, to Kanda's annoyance, that letting his hair down would make Kanda look much more manly then with his hair swept up in a ponytail.

The applause was rather warm, different from what Kanda expected. He gingerly avoided trapdoor number one and took a bow beside Tyki. The girls giggled again. Some even gasped happily. Tyki stifled his chuckles as well.

"Right, ladies and gentlemen, now that my assistant has joined me here on stage, we're ready for some magic. Kanda, if you please."

Sulkily, Kanda played his part, handing Tyki things he needed, and occasionally having large black butterflies pulled out of his own coat. Kanda wondered where those dumb bugs came from as he watched them flutter over Tyki's outstretched palm and land neatly on his fingers. Why wouldn't they fly away? Their wings and legs weren't tied up, they could easily escape. Why would they choose to stay here when they could have what he couldn't get?

The next trick came up. Tyki finished thanking the audience for their applause after making a couple of rabbits disappear. He nodded at Kanda, who understood the sign and went to start hauling a large box to the middle of the stage.

More excited whispers and murmurs issued from the crowd. They had a faint inkling of what Tyki was going to do. And he was extremely famous for this trick as well.

"Attention please. As you all can see, this box has no other opening than this door over here." Tyki indicated the box in the centre of the stage.

Kanda stared as well. He never saw Tyki practice his tricks, he was only taught to take stuff here, move stuff there, and stand anywhere looking pretty. Even if he wouldn't admit it, the entire show so far had been amazing. He couldn't possibly fathom how Tyki could make all those things happen.

"... And after I have been chained up and locked in, my assistant here will personally set fire to that fuse over there. Meaning that I have only 10 seconds to escape, or suffer a fiery death." Tyki had been explaining to the audience as Kanda was thinking. The statement brought Kanda back to his senses.

'_Set fire? Wait... I wasn't told to do that! How the heck will that bastard escape? It's impossible!'_ Kanda stared at Tyki with cold surprise.

Tyki handed him a set of chains. "Lock me up as tightly as you can. And be quick about it." He whispered.

Kanda looked at the chains. Then he moved over and bound the magician tightly with them, maybe a little more tightly than he was expected to. Tyki grimaced and raised his brow. Stubborn temper that assistant had...

Although he chained Tyki up tightly, Kanda was still hesitant to lock him in the box and then set fire to it. He couldn't believe that Tyki could do it. He couldn't believe that the magician, no matter how wonderful and great he was, could pull such a feat off. Kanda was the one who chained him, he knew better than any of the audience how tight those chains were, how secure the lock was.

Walking over to the rope-like fuse lying on the ground, Kanda lit it, rather shakily. The audience held their breath; even Kanda could feel the atmosphere tighten. In his heart, a countdown had started.

_10..._

Kanda's eyes swept the stage again, recalling every single hidden trapdoor. There definitely wasn't one under Tyki's feet right now.

_9..._

The flame was moving slowly, dangerously, towards the box. Kanda felt a mad urge to just go over and stomp it out.

_8..._

Some women clapped their hands to their mouths, too afraid to speak. Children watched with their eyes sparkling, hanging at the edges of their seat, too excited to sit still.

_7..._

Kanda gave the box another quick check from where he stood. No other way out than the front door, and that was locked securely and chained with 5 rounds of stout metal chains. Kanda mentally regretted tying them up for real.

_6..._

He wished Tyki would say something. It was too quiet in there. The eerie silence only served to prolong the suspense that was slowly choking him.

_5..._

Whimpers and squeals were emitted from the crowd. Kanda closed his eyes. He didn't want to watch. He wasn't sure what to do, he felt so hopelessly lost.

_4..._

'_Damn, why does 10 seconds seem to take forever?'_

_3..._

He clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palm. Silently, he prayed that nothing would go wrong.

_2..._

'_Here it comes. If he dies then all the better for me I guess. No more fucking perverts to be my fucking master.'_

But Kanda felt bad as he thought that last statement. He didn't have time to change his mind though, for the last second drew near.

_1..._

10 seconds were up. The flame reached the box and the wooden structure burst into flames. A few women screamed and some children shouted as well. Men got up from their seats to try and get a better view.

The assistant stared at the burning box. _'Oh no... He's still in there, he's still in that damn box!'_

The crowd was in an uproar. Some were shouting at Kanda to put out the fire but he just stood there, unsure of what to do.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I beg you to calm down!" A cool, clear voice rang out above the commotion.

Kanda turned slowly to face the direction the voice was coming from. There, at the back of the stage, was a mirror that Tyki had used for one of his earlier tricks. And the said magician was smiling from behind the glass. Inside the mirror.

Laughing lightly, the tall man stepped through it. The audience gasped and some women fainted in relief. Kanda could only stare dumbfounded. How did the guy get out of that flaming box and _into _a mirror? It just wasn't real!

The crowd clapped and cheered and showered Tyki with more than just praise. Tyki picked up one of the fallen roses tossed his way and blew a kiss to the adoring fans, earning a cry of delight from them.

"Che. Show off. Those women are idiot enough to fall for his charms."

Kanda turned away and slunk over to the remains of the charred box. He wanted to investigate those chains and hopefully, see if he could use them in case he needed to chain someone up. Anything he could use to escape would be pretty much of great help to him now and since Tyki was rather busy receiving adoration from his fans, Kanda figured he had some time to do some snooping around of his own.

He stopped as he caught sight of the chains amongst the wood. To his surprise, they weren't undone. It seemed as if Tyki had just stepped out of them casually. But how?

The curtains had fallen, and the stage was rather dark behind the thick red felt. It wasn't hot, but Kanda felt a trickle of cold sweat on his neck. He wiped it off, assuring himself he was just sweating because of work and not because he had been worried for the magician's life.

He wanted him dead, but something was stopping him. What was it? Was it because some way or another, it was evil to want someone dead? All his life, he never thought it evil to kill people, but to wish someone dead, to wish that someone would descend to the darkest pits of hell, it was a thought that churned the insides of his stomach and brought the bile to the back of his throat. He felt disgusted. He was as bad as the monsters he faced so far.

Kanda gritted his teeth and clenched his fists tightly again. They still hurt where he had held them tightly previously when Tyki was in the box.

'_Get a grip on yourself, Kanda. That man is not worth your precious time thinking. Right now you have to focus on how to...'_

"Wondering how I got out?"

Kanda would have jumped had he not been such a calm person. Cursing mentally in his mind, he turned to face the magician with the same murderous glare he always reserved for him.

"Well, I can't tell you, that's for sure. A magician..." Tyki took a step towards Kanda with every word. "Never... Reveals... His..." He was in front of him now. "Secrets..." He finished, his golden eyes locked with the cold dark ones, his voice sunk to just a whisper that seemed to linger in the silence around them.

"Che. Like I care. I couldn't care less if you stayed trapped in there and died. It would make my life a whole lot better without you messing it up for me."

"Tsk... Ungrateful much, are we? Have I not been good enough to you, enough to gain your trust? Do I need to do better?"

Tyki moved his hand to Kanda's hair, and ran his gloved fingers down the silky tresses. Kanda kept his eyes on him, unwilling to back down, as if they were in some staring competition. It took him a while to realise what Tyki was doing, then he grabbed the magician's wrist forcefully to stop him.

Tyki raised an eyebrow. He had thought that Kanda would swat his hand away or stumble backwards, but seems like this assistant was much more complicated than it seems. He jerked his hand out of Kanda's grasp.

Kanda wondered as well, why he gripped Tyki to stop him instead of hitting him or something. Did it make him seem braver to do so? Would Tyki believe that he wasn't scared? Was he even scared?

Tyki sighed, brushed his own hair out of his eyes and walked out. "Get ready, we're going out. You can wear that, or get something else to wear, but I want you to look your best."

Kanda nearly did a double-take. "Going out? Where?"

"An evening ball. I mingle around with the rich every now and then, considering I came from quite a noble family as well. And I plan on introducing my new assistant to them."

Kanda smirked. "And what makes you think I won't try to escape?"

"Oh, I don't have to worry. You won't escape, would you?"

"Maybe I will. Try molesting me again and I swear I will. Bastard..." He muttered the last word to himself.

Tyki shrugged and went out. Standing alone in the darkness, Kanda wondered Tyki was thinking. For one thing, he was pretty sure that the man didn't trust him fully yet, so why did he trust him enough to let him go out? Kanda knew he wouldn't escape, he wasn't ready to embrace freedom yet, there was still ends that needed to be tied up, messes that needed to be sorted out, before Kanda was positive he could escape.

It hit him. Kanda suddenly realised the meaning behind Tyki's words. Anger welled up within him and tried to push back the insecurity he felt. Kanda was scared, and he knew it, but he decided to use anger and hatred to cover it up.

Tyki didn't trust him. Tyki just knew that he wouldn't escape, because he _couldn't _escape. And Kanda hated the idea of being imprisoned here.

He was still a slave, chained by invisible shackles, and the only person that seemed capable of breaking them didn't seem fond of doing it anytime soon. It made Kanda sick to think that he was at the mercy of the twisted magician.

As he stormed out to "get ready", as Tyki had told him to, there was still one little thing he couldn't quite work out.

"Why do you want me to trust you?" Kanda whispered those words aloud, as if asking himself the question.

He headed for the dressing rooms. He didn't notice the person standing in the shadows of the corridor, watching his disappearing form. He didn't see Tyki smile somewhat, sadly as he whispered those words.

"_Why do you want me to trust you?"_

* * *

Lol, this took quite a while. And to my dear readers, especially the reviewers, you guys make my day! Reading your comments are always such fun for me.


	4. Chapter 4 Evening's Fragrance

Right, so we get to meet Tyki's family for the first time, although I'm pretty sure everyone knows who they are by now.

Warning, this chapter starts to get into the rating M plot, and if I feel that it's going too far, I'm going to censor the juicy details. Or not.

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, and if I did, it'd be a yaoi manga already. With lots of TyKan.

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Evening's Fragrance, Night's Poison**

A jaunty, melodic waltz tune was being played out, amidst all the chatter and excitement of the ball. Richly dressed women adorned with expensive jewellery giggled and chattered away with each other while young ladies batted their eyelashes and earned adoring gazes from the young men. The large ballroom was brightly lit with a dazzling chandelier as the centrepiece. Beautiful paintings depicting noblemen aligned the walls, and the air of elegance lingered in the atmosphere as couples waltzed on the dance floor.

Kanda was taken aback by the entire place. He had never been to a gathering this large before, let alone a gathering full of the rich. Somehow, he felt awfully out of place. Reluctantly, he stuck to Tyki, who was just about the only person he knew here.

Tyki noted the younger man's discomfort and amazement, smiling to himself as he pointedly ignored it. Being the gentleman he was, Tyki nodded and smiled to the ladies that were throwing looks of adoration to not only him, but the one following behind as well. Kanda didn't seem to notice the attention he was getting though.

"Tyki! You're here!" A young girl in a lovely dress ran over and pounced on him, clinging to his waist tightly. Tyki chuckled.

"Road, nice to see you. Is the Earl still mad at me?"

Road pouted a little. "We all weren't pleased when you couldn't make it for dinner the other day. But I think you're forgiven seeing as you've come for this ball. Go and ask him yourself later."

Noticing the quiet, frowning man behind Tyki, she whispered to him. "Who's the hot guy?"

"My new assistant. You like him?"

"He's hot, but I'd like him better if he's smiling. Do you?" Road asked cheekily.

Tyki nearly stumbled over his feet as Road swung around. "Road, it'll be easier for the both of us if you'd stop hugging me."

Road made a face and let go. "Always changing the subject. Father wants to see your new assistant too, and I bet Devit and Jasdero would have some "welcoming" party for him too."

At that, Kanda raised an eyebrow. He didn't like that sound of the welcoming party. In fact, he didn't like parties. He was already having enough trouble trying to stay calm in this ball. Kanda never had a thing for large gatherings.

Suddenly, a pair of arms grabbed him from each side, holding him like a hostage. Kanda twisted around angrily to find a pair of identical, mischievous grins leering at him.

"So, this is your newest plaything, eh, Tyki-pet?"

"Tyki-pet, Tyki-pet! Tyki-pet's got a new plaything! Hee~"

Tyki strolled casually over and prised the twins' hands off Kanda's arms. "For the last time, don't ever call me by that horrible pet name. It's quite disturbing. And he's not my plaything." He added after hesitation.

Devit rolled his eyes and Jasdero followed suit. "Whatever. You're missing out on a lot of dinner parties so we expected you to toying around with something... Or someone..."

Road snapped. "Tyki should go and see the Earl now, or he'll be in big trouble, so back off, you two! Play with the new guy if you want."

Kanda was weirdly embarrassed by the entire drama. He thought the magician was twisted. Now seeing the people he mixed with, he told himself that it was true that birds of a feather would flock together. Rather disturbing to meet so many lunatics though.

He didn't have much time to brood about it. Devit and Jasdero spun him around and marched him all the way across the dance floor, ignoring his protests and blatant curses.

* * *

He hated it. He hated everything about that place. All those smiling faces, all those richly adorned ladies winking and giggling as they passed him, he had absolutely no clue as to why they'd be acting that way. He didn't want to attract any attention. It made him slightly anxious, as well as a tad bit uncomfortable as he tried to find somewhere to get a breather. And get away from the twins as well.

"You're a cold blanket, you know? Have some fun! Why would that idiot Tyki keep you anyway?" Devit grumbled as Kanda coldly ignored another request to dance.

"Che. I'm not his pet. And I don't dance." He replied acidly.

"He can't dance! He can't dance! Hee~" Jasdero repeated happily.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, you're a rude one. Who in the fucking hell taught you your manners?"

"You're no better."

Devit narrowed his eyes and lock stares with Kanda. "You, should learn your place, boy. We're not treating you as part of our family. You're just another unfortunate soul that has the privilege to become our new toy."

Kanda stood his ground and did not look away. "Funny hearing you call me boy, seeing as you're obviously much more childish, not only in appearance."

"Why you insolent..."

A small tinkle of breaking glass interrupted Devit's retort. They looked over to the direction of the sound. A young boy with shocking white hair was apologising profusely to a man with flowing red locks and a woman clinging to his arm. The remains of a champagne flute lay at their feet.

"Idiot apprentice! You're no good for anything. Oh, and you're paying for that broken glass."

The boy squealed. "But... But... Master! Please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to break the... Wait, Master!" He called after the man's retreating back.

The twins sniggered and sauntered over to him. "Now what has little apprentice gotten himself into?" Devit taunted.

The kid gasped and wheeled around. "Sir... I mean, Lord Devit... I mean..."

"Useless as usual, I see. No time to play today?"

"I... I have to be cleaning this mess up..."

"Another day then. Oh, and Allen..." Devit smirked. "Your master still owes us a thousand gold coins."

He laughed and walked away to find someone else to torment, Jasdero following and cackling as well. They seemed to have enjoyed teasing the boy until they forgot the stoic Japanese.

Allen sighed and picked the glass shards up. Glancing around, making sure no one noticed, Kanda bent down and helped him. The boy gave another squeal and thanked him repeatedly. A vein on Kanda's forehead throbbed. This guy was a little too nice for his taste.

"The name's Allen, Allen Walker, but you can just call me Allen if you want! What's your name?"

"... Kanda." Kanda really didn't want to hang around this kid but Allen seemed not to notice. He was looking for somewhere to dispose of the shards and ended up leading Kanda out of the ballroom.

"Kanda? Oh, so you're not from around here? Where're you from?"

"Che. None of your business, _moyashi..._"

Allen looked perplexed at the word. "Erm, what's a... Moyashi?"

"Bean sprout."

"You're not very friendly, are you, Kanda? Hmm, I wonder where the bathroom is..."

When he didn't answer, Allen just continued to walk along the corridor, humming a tune as he went. Kanda wondered he was even accompanying this guy. But at least he was out of the damn hall filled with those rich people. And if Tyki asked he could simply say that he was helping this idiot out.

"Oi, sprout. Who was that man you were apologising to?"

Allen started at the mention of his master. "Him? Erm... He's... He's my master."

Kanda was taken aback. Was this boy a slave as well? But he didn't look too badly treated... And besides, slaves weren't brought to evening balls as personal servants.

"Master?" He repeated. Allen nodded.

"I'm his apprentice. But he's a real demon, that man." He shuddered at the thought. "By the way, Kanda, are you working for Lord Devit and Jasdero?"

"I wouldn't be caught dead serving them." After a short pause, Kanda decided to ask Allen something.

"Oi, are those two related to Tyki Mikk?"

Allen started. "Tyki Mikk? That... That magician? Well, yeah. They're from the same family, the Noah clan. That's what my master says anyway. But I heard he's been having a minor conflict of interest with the rest of them. Apparently his career choice doesn't go well with them. Wait... You're not working for the guy, are you?"

Kanda scowled, and then gave a curt nod. Allen let out a gasp before he could stop himself, then immediately apologised, much to Kanda's annoyance. This kid was getting on his nerves. He only spared him a minute because somehow, Kanda felt that he and Allen were in the same boat. Both were from the lower class, both felt out of place in this society, both felt lonely.

"Hey, Kanda? I should tell you this, in case... Well... Thing is... You have to watch out. I've heard that Tyki Mikk can be rather... Dangerous..."

"I know. I can't say I like the bastard much."

"Is he mean to you? Does he give you hell?"

Kanda paused before answering. Come to think of it, Tyki has never mistreated him till now, but he just harboured cold hatred towards him. "No... I guess he doesn't. But I still don't like him."

"Say, Kanda, have you ever thought of running away?"

* * *

"Welcome back, Tyki." The beautifully dressed young woman nodded towards Tyki as he sat down a little way from her.

"It's been a while, Lulubell. I see you haven't changed much. Skin, good to see you happy as always."

The big man sitting at the back gave a sort of grunt and nodded. Lulubell shifted slightly in her seat before answering.

"Neither have you. The Earl isn't very pleased with you though."

"He never was. Besides, where is he tonight? I haven't seen him yet."

Road leaned on Tyki's chair. "The Earl had some last minute business to attend to, so he couldn't come. But we need to tell you something, Tyki. It's about..."

"Your career." Lulubell finished simply. Tyki rolled his eyes and propped himself up on one arm, leaning against the arm rest. He had received this lecture for more times than he could count.

"He doesn't like me pulling rabbits out of my hat? I thought we've been through this already? I'm an adult, for heaven's sake. I can choose whatever I..."

"_We _don't like it, Tyki. The Earl has been quite gracious with you, but we know he doesn't like the idea of someone with noble blood such as yourself running around performing tricks."

Tyki leaned forward. "My career choice doesn't seem to have affected our family, has it? I still turn up for family gatherings, dinners, and I have not caused any scandal that would be a threat to our name. So what if I enjoy attention. I gain pleasure from doing what I do, so if the Earl doesn't stop me outright, I don't see why I should quit."

"You did miss one of our little gatherings the other day." Lulubell pointed out.

"His assistant ran away, Lulu. He had to iron things out, didn't you, Tyki?" Road teased.

"See, people out there are just bitches like that. With our status, and our inherited powers, we are special, Tyki. There's no need for us to be caught up in worldly affairs."

"Why can't Tyki have his fun?" Road questioned as she clung to Tyki's arm.

"Yeah, why can't I have my fun? Besides, runaway assistants aren't a problem to me." He smiled at the thought.

"That's what you say. But Tyki, what if this one betrays you again?"

The atmosphere seemed to fall silent, deadly silent. The smile on Tyki's face faltered, and when he spoke again, there was a steely tone to his voice.

"He will not. I know he will not. Besides, I don't believe he can. Although, I do wonder why you're being so offensive tonight."

"We were hoping that after that girl ran away, you would see sense in our words and just quit that stage act altogether. But no, you had to go and find yourself a new servant, and a man at that too! Tell me, who uses a guy for a magician's assistant?"

"So you were just hoping I'd give up like that? That's considerate of you, Lulu..."

"I wasn't the only one. I'm pretty sure that the Earl and the others thought so too. Sherril longs for you to just settle down and get married."

Tyki stood up, pushing his chair back. He gently replaced his tall hat and made to leave. "Please try not to interfere with my life. It's really none of your business as to what I do. Good evening, I bid. Our little chat was rather... Enjoyable."

Lulubell said nothing as he left, but Road got up and followed him, giving her an irritated glance. They could hear her asking him for candy out of his hat. Skin made no sign that he had heard what they were talking about. But Lulubell watched Tyki disappear in the midst of women.

"I wonder, what you'd do... If your newest assistant got himself caught up in something rather... Nasty... Tyki..." She muttered softly to herself.

* * *

"Kanda, have you ever thought of running away?"

The question sounded like a trap to him, but it also brought up many questions in his mind. Did he want to run away? At first thought, and ever since he had been stripped of his freedom, his natural instinct had been to fight back, to regain his freedom.

He had entertained the thought of running away, no, not just entertained; he _wanted _to run away, to escape from this place, to return to his homeland. Why did it feel so wrong to run away now?

Seeing as Kanda was lost in his own thoughts, Allen continued, dropping his voice to almost a whisper. "See, Kanda, I'm thinking of running away. I can't stand my master anymore. Then a friend of mine sent me a letter, saying that he would be in town soon, and asked me if I would like to leave and get a new job with him. So I thought that... I'd take the chance..."

He suddenly gasped, as if realising what he had just said. "I'm sorry! I was just... I mean... Please don't tell anyone. I'd be dead if Cross ever found out."

"I won't" Kanda said flatly. Allen looked rather relieved as he sighed. "Thanks, Kanda. It's nice to meet someone that I could finally talk to."

The boy fell silent, and then made as if to leave. "I think I'd better be going. My master would think that something was up if I disappeared for too long. See you, Kanda!"

Kanda remained as he was, leaning against the corridor walls as Allen left. Running away... Sure, he had many reasons for leaving, but the more time he spent, the more reasons not to leave materialised.

Shrugging his thoughts away, Kanda pushed himself off the wall and made to enter the hall. He would deal with this later, right now, he just had to think of a good reason to give Tyki for disappearing like this.

A few steps down the corridor and he stopped. He realised that he hadn't a clue as to where he was. Kanda cursed. He had no idea how to get back to the ballroom, and there were so many fucking doors leading out of here. Guess he would have to find his own way then.

Faint music could be heard, and Kanda headed towards the direction. _'Damn, this corridor's long...'_

He reached a door at the end of the corridor. Hoping fervently that this would be the back door to the ballroom, Kanda placed his hand on the knob and pushed the door open.

The room he entered was dark, but rather large. Obviously it was no ballroom, but Kanda could've sworn he had heard music coming from this room. He could see the faint shape of an elegant four-poster bed, furnished with bedside tables and drawers, with a strong, sweet smell lingering in the air.

Kanda knew he shouldn't stay too long, but he couldn't help it. There was something wrong with this room, and that sweet smell seemed to be getting into his head.

The door was closed suddenly behind him. Kanda would've jumped but he just stood there, breathing slowly. Someone else was in the room with him.

For another moment, there was nothing but silence. His breathing came in deep waves, as he tried to calm himself down, unsure whether to turn and face whoever it was or whatever it was. But somehow he couldn't think properly. He was feeling rather nauseous for some reason. And it was too hot in here for his liking.

"My, my, you are a sexy one, aren't you?" A lustful voice whispered from behind him.

Someone moved near the door and Kanda wheeled around to face the person. As his eyes got used to the darkness, he noticed a woman leaning against the bed post, her body curved sensually and eyes locked on Kanda. She slowly took a few steps towards him.

He had no idea how to react. His senses seemed to be fogging up, his mind unable to send any coherent thoughts to his self-conscious, his body unable to move the way he wanted it to. He just stood there as she approached him and placed her fingers gently on his chest.

At the touch, Kanda jerked backwards, a hand automatically moving to cover the mark hiding beneath his shirt. "Who are you? What do you want?" He asked fiercely yet uncertainly.

The woman moved closer to him. Kanda found himself backing up against the bed posts of the four-poster. His breath caught in his throat, but he managed to retain some of his cold demeanour.

"Have you ever been with a woman?" She whispered into his ear. Kanda took a steady breath.

"No. Look, lady, I may apologise for stumbling into your room, but I will get into serious trouble if I do anything to you, so... Let... Let me out." His last words were slightly slurred. He blinked a few times to try and focus, but there was something wrong. And that sweet smell was getting a little too much for him.

He felt her lips brushing the shell of his ear, her hands moving to his collar. Immediately he tried to push her away. He stumbled away, focusing his blurred thoughts on only one thing: Getting out of here. But a slight tug from her caused him to lose his balance and fall on the bed instead.

"Fuck... Get off..." He cursed as he felt her body pressed against his. He was pretty sure by now that he had been drugged or something, but when it happened he had no idea.

"Don't be such a spoilsport... You know you want this badly too... Don't you?" She leaned closer to him.

Kanda breathed harshly as he uttered every word. "If... Anything... Happens... I'll be... In serious... Shit..."

She laughed softly. He could smell her perfume, it was as intoxicating as the sweet aroma in the room. His vision was getting blurred, and he could barely hear her speaking now.

'_No... No way this is happening... Why can't I fight back?'_

"What would Tyki say if his lovely assistant was caught up in an affair on his first night out? Hmm?" She twirled a strand of his hair with her finger.

"Affair? Che... You drugged me... I... I don't know how but... I will not... Do anything..." He groaned as he felt a headache coming.

"Do you think the police will believe you, dear? A high-class lady such as myself, and a slave like you?"

'_Shit...'_ thought Kanda. _'This is a trap... Fuck this woman... Why does she want to trap me? It's useless... I have nothing to lose... Tyki will be the one who...'_

Damn. Tyki. Kanda seemed to remember him. He hit her hand away, which was slowly removing the top buttons of his shirt.

"You want to use me... To trap Tyki... Don't you? I'm... I'm not a tool... You bitch..."

"Too late for anything now, hmm? You're not capable of fighting back..."

Kanda closed his eyes tightly. _'No... Tyki, I didn't mean... I'm sorry...'_ In his heart, he was scared. He was trapped, and even if Tyki tried to stand up for him, he knew that he was at the disadvantage. A slave with a record of a bad attitude caught in bed with a high-class lady. In any case it would look like he was the criminal. Who'd ever believe that this lady was the seductive pervert?

Her hands wandered lower. Kanda growled defensively as they got too low. He tried pushing her off but found himself being pinned down instead.

He felt himself slipping into unconsciousness. He fervently hoped that this was just a nightmare, and he would wake up to a new day and another magic show to prepare for.

After a couple of minutes, Kanda thought that he had already fallen unconscious, because nothing seemed to be happening. Then only he realised that someone else was in the room, dragging the woman off him.

"Get yourself off my assistant, please..."

He recognised that voice. Immediately he wanted to call out or sit up but his body was still not listening to him. All he could do was roll over a little and groan.

"Oh, but sir, he was the one who tried to..."

"Lulubell, do you think that I've not known you long enough to know that this is you? I never knew you took a liking to my assistant but please, he's still young. Spare him from your seduction."

Kanda cracked opened one eye to see a familiar man holding the woman by her wrists. To his surprise, she seemed to change form into another woman, with long hair tied in a ponytail behind her. As the man let go of her wrists, she crossed her arms and looked away angrily.

The man crossed over to the bed and hoisted Kanda up, letting him lean on his shoulder. Under normal circumstances, Kanda would've insisted on walking on his own but in this case, he could hardly move, let alone walk, so he complied.

They left the room slowly, Kanda trying to walk with the man supporting him. Before leaving, he turned around.

"Oh, and I'd thank you, not to mess with him anymore. Kanda's mine, so please refrain from touching him. I'm warning you, try anything funny again, and I may lose my temper."

Kanda heard the door close, and felt himself being led towards another door. Mustering whatever strength he had left, he muttered.

"I don't belong to anyone... Bastard..."

The man chuckled. "Tsk, tsk, Kanda. Getting yourself drugged so badly and still having enough feistiness in you to spit back at me. Just the way I like you."

Kanda groaned. His head was spinning so badly. If Tyki ever tried bringing him to anymore parties, he'd decline the offer. He never liked large gatherings anyway. This was all that stupid magician's fault...

* * *

So I finished a chapter, and it's really long since I'm liable to go on a hiatus after this, I thought I'd give you all more to read about. And I hope you all can forgive me if this chapter wasn't the smut you expected. I planned on introducing the Noah family first, and the conflict Tyki is having with them.

I may post my story on Livejournal. Not that anyone visits, just for my own sake.

And personally, felt like this chapter was crap.


	5. Chapter 5 Beginning of the Night

I told myself I'd post this after my exams are over, but then I realised that may be too late, for my exams end at the end of June. So yeah, here I am, writing smut. TyKan smut. Wouldn't my Chemistry teacher be happy to hear that.

Was rewatching the episode where Kanda fights Tyki at Edo and it hit me that it's one of the hottest fights ever. Albeit a short one. The looks they give each other just scream out sexy, and that might have led to the smut in this chapter. Yes, you've been forewarned.

Disclaimer: Once again, I trust I don't have to remind you guys that DGM is not my property but Katsura Hoshino's.

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Beginning of the Night**

The carriage jerked slightly as the wheels ran over the uneven road. Kanda groaned as he felt another jerk. His head was spinning terribly and all he wanted to do was just to lie down and sleep. He placed his head gently against the carriage window and closed his eyes.

Tyki was observing the young man seated opposite of him, such a peaceful and civil look etched on his features in comparison to his usual moody one. Kanda's dark bangs fell down and framed his face, the elegantly swept up hair now coming out of its ponytail. Tyki also noted, as the boy leaned resting on the side, his slightly exposed neck. The older man ran a tongue over his lower lip, his eyes sparkling with some malicious intent.

They pulled to a stop, and the last jerk made Kanda curse. He stepped down from the carriage shakily, stubbornly refusing to let Tyki touch him again. As Tyki paid the driver, Kanda wandered back into the house and tried to locate his room.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tyki watched him enter the door. _'Foolish boy... The night isn't over yet...'_

* * *

He pushed open another door tentatively. With the world spinning around him and weird shapes forming before his eyes, Kanda could hardly make out the difference between a door to the cupboard and the door to his room. Which he was having a little bit of trouble locating. Just a little bit. And no, he still did not need Tyki's help.

Thank goodness he finally found the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and shakily made his way towards the bed.

"That must have been some strong drug to make you enter my room willingly. On normal days you'd even stay away from me and now you want to sleep here?"

Kanda cursed. For the second time this night, he had entered a room which he should not have trespassed upon. And he didn't even hear Tyki come in. Sometimes he wondered if that guy was even human.

He turned and faced Tyki, only to find him smiling and standing in front of the door.

"I was disoriented... Don't... Don't get it into your twisted head that I wanted to have a slumber party... With you... Now move... So... So I can get the heck out of here and go back to my room... Please..." He added the last word after some hesitation.

Tyki moved, not to the side but towards him. Every step he took seemed to echo in Kanda's ears and the younger man felt just as trapped as he did on his first night here. As Tyki reached him, he bolted to the side and tried to dash out of the room, only to have a powerful arm grab his wrist and wrench him in to an embrace.

"I didn't say you could leave, Kanda..." Tyki whispered into his ear.

Kanda suppressed a shiver and struggled against the strong arms that wrapped around him from behind. The drug had disoriented his senses and he could barely fight back. He could only stand there pathetically and feel that hot breath down his neck.

Tyki moved one hand to Kanda's collar, the other hand still wrapped possessively around Kanda's waist, and used it to slowly turn the fabric down, exposing his neck a little bit more. And then he edged towards the pale skin, and placed a soft kiss on it.

Kanda gasped at the sensation, and his immediate response was to pull away, but Tyki held him firmly, nipping at his neck and pulling his shirt down past his shoulder.

"Stop... Stop this..."

"Why? You like this, don't you?"

"No... Stop..."

Tyki stopped kissing his neck and pulled him towards the direction of the bed. Kanda felt himself roughly tossed onto the soft sheets and pinned down. He blinked the confusion from his eyes and stared into the golden ones above him.

The older man had him pinned down on the bed, his curly locks falling down past his eyes, those golden eyes, boring into Kanda's soul like a fiery rod of metal, yet Kanda was mesmerised by them, although he was too drugged to try and think about it too much.

Tyki leaned closer to him and whispered in a seductive tone. "You're beautiful, you know that, Kanda? Those were my thoughts since I first laid eyes on you. I've longed to own you, to tame your fiery beauty, to make you mine..."

"You fucking pervert... Get the hell... Off me..."

"Oh, come on. Be nice now, Kanda. It's not every day we'll get to do this, because you're always too fierce to let me try anything on you. But tonight... Your defences are low... And I'm not going to let this chance slip me by..."

He pressed his lips to the surprised boy's open ones, slipping his tongue in between his teeth and running it gently over Kanda's own. The boy struggled, but that tongue flitting across his own brought forth sensations he had never felt before. They engaged in a battle for dominance, lips crashing into one another's, each refusing to back down or give in to the other. Tyki won, and he nipped the boy's lower lip roughly, making sure he knew who was in command tonight.

As he pulled away, Kanda lifted himself up slightly, following the magician's lips as they left his, as if wanting more from Tyki, but stopped suddenly when he realised what he was doing. Tyki chuckled. The young assistant was obviously rather inexperienced in this.

Smirking, Tyki leaned down and nipped at the shell of his ear, hands moving to remove his shirt swiftly. He ran a hand over the well-chiselled torso of the younger man, fingers pausing at the mark on his chest. A pained expression flashed past his golden eyes. He was reminded of how much suffering the boy had been through. He probably never experienced love either.

Kanda gasped as he felt something warm and wet on his collar bone, kissing its way and leaving a wet trail down his chest. Half of him was screaming to get away from here, and yet the other half was curious to find out what else Tyki had in store for him. He was too dizzy to pull himself up, knock Tyki out and get back to his room so automatically, his mind told him to just lie there.

Still, a sudden nip near his mark made him sit up and push the older man away. Tyki frowned as the boy shoved him off, but his expression softened when he saw the slight fear in his eyes. Reaching forward, he brushed Kanda's cheek tenderly, pushing away his hair from his face.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. Haven't I proved enough to you, to show you I mean no harm? Can't you trust me enough to let me give you pleasure, just for one night?"

Kanda shook his head slowly as he covered the mark with his hand. "Once a slave... Always a slave... You can't free me... There's no way you can remove this... I'm... I'm marked... Tainted..."

A hand slipped under his chin and made him look into those alluring golden orbs once again. Tyki brushed his lips against the smaller ones again, and moved his hand away from the mark.

"It's alright. You're still perfectly beautiful to me." He murmured against the kiss, while pushing Kanda back against the sheets.

Kanda could only moan as Tyki slowly kissed his way down his torso, stiffening a little as Tyki nipped at his nipples. This pleasure... He wasn't supposed to feel it. He wasn't entitled to these pleasures; he felt he was breaking a taboo. But right now, he could barely get his thoughts straight, and somehow, it felt so right to just enjoy these sensations.

He let out another sound as Tyki sucked at the heated flesh and ran his tongue slowly over it. Tyki's hands had already pushed his pants past his hips, and were stroking his thigh gently.

He continued down the boy's chest, and made his way to his navel. With a quick movement, he removed his pants and undergarment along with it, and Kanda inhaled deeply as he felt cold air hit his bare skin. Tyki spread his legs wider and knelt between them, moving in to kiss the inside of his thighs. He placed wet kisses along Kanda's thigh, moving closer and closer to the heated member.

Kanda couldn't suppress another tingle up his spine and let out another groan as he felt Tyki's hot breath against his hard cock. Tyki was getting awfully close to the place he wanted him to touch badly.

Suddenly, he felt his member engulfed in a warm mouth and let out a gasp. Those damn sexy lips nipping at his sensitive flesh, those teeth gently scraping the bare skin, that tongue, that fucking tongue licking the entire length. Kanda arched his back and rolled into that warmth, silently pleading for more.

Tyki sucked at his cock, savouring the taste of the younger man. He licked at the head and smirked as he received a lovely moan from the owner. He groaned as he took the member in his mouth again, sucking rather hard and enjoying the feeling, knowing that Kanda was enjoying it as much as he did.

As he stopped, Kanda would have moaned in disappointment but he held himself back. Instead, the Japanese opened his eyes slightly and glared at the older man with a frustrated glance. Tyki nearly laughed when he saw the expression on Kanda's face. Leaning back on the sheets, hair let down and spilling over his bare shoulders, eyes half-closed with a fiery spirit dancing within, Kanda looked sexy and unknowingly seductive. He was practically screaming at Tyki to fuck him even if he himself didn't know it.

"What are you looking at?" The sudden snappish statement brought Tyki back to his senses. He smirked and placed two fingers on the boy's lips to silence him.

"Suck on this." He ordered. Sulkily, Kanda complied, his eyelids closing and lips moving over the two digits, in Tyki's opinion, a rather adorable sexy look for him. Still smirking, Tyki leaned over and bit his neck gently, then sucking at the flesh to make a mark there. He still couldn't get enough of Kanda's taste.

He withdrew from Kanda and positioned himself between his legs. Pressing his two wet fingers against Kanda's tight entrance, he gave the boy a questioning look.

"Are you sure you've never done this before, Kanda?"

"Done... What?"

Tyki raised an amused eyebrow. "Done... This." He pushed the fingers into the tight space.

Kanda's eyes widened in shock and he threw his head back at the intrusion, hair falling back and back arching gracefully. He never felt anything like this before. The two fingers slipping and thrusting inside of him were painful, but he got used to the pain. He let out a strangled moan and tried to support his weight, hands gripping the sheets tightly.

Tyki pushed his fingers inside Kanda one last time to try and prepare him, and then pulled out. Kanda whimpered at the loss, panting as he tried to register what just happened. He looked up to see Tyki lifted his right hand to his lips, and lick his palm.

Kanda felt his insides churning with heat. Damn Tyki, he looked so sexy running his tongue over his palm again and again while keeping his eyes locked on Kanda.

Smiling, Tyki used his wet palm to slick himself up, groaning a little as he became harder. Then he placed both hands on either side of Kanda, pinning him against the bed while positioning himself in front of his entrance.

"This may hurt more than before, Kanda. Here we go..."

He entered Kanda, and a cry of pain escaped the boy's lips. God, this hurt like hell. Kanda tried to blink the pain out of his eyes but Tyki was hard and painful, too much for him to bear. He gave another cry that made Tyki look at him in worry.

"Does it hurt a lot, Kanda? I'm sorry, I'll be faster. Would you like that? Or you could use my hand for support, if you'd like."

Nodding, Kanda moved one hand to Tyki's and gripped it as the older man thrusted inside of him. Tyki pushed in deeper and hit the sensitive spot, making Kanda cry out, not in pain, but in pleasure. Tyki groaned in turn, Kanda felt so tight and good, he could bury himself inside him for ages if he wanted to, and he hoped that the climax wouldn't come just yet, he still wanted to enjoy the boy's heat.

He had found that spot. Shifting angles, Tyki hit the spot again and again as he increased his pace, causing Kanda to shudder and open his mouth in a wordless plea for more. He was gasping for breath, as the man above him panted, the heat around them increasing.

The magician moved his free hand down to Kanda's arousal and pumped it, squeezing the hard flesh in his hand with the same rhythm he was moving in and out of the boy. Kanda rolled his hips in response to the hand that was stroking him, and gasped as Tyki stroked his head with his thumb.

Tyki could feel Kanda becoming tighter, and his grip on his arm was getting tighter as well. With a powerful rock of his hips, he slammed into the boy with force as Kanda came in his hand, himself following soon after. They fell limp, breathing harshly, still feeling the waves of pleasure that washed over them.

Kanda felt wetness underneath and rolled his head to one side. Sleep was taking over his senses slowly, and his head finally stopped spinning so much as he slipped into a calm stupor. Tyki pulled out gently and lay beside the young man, caressing his hair slowly.

He was so young and vulnerable, Tyki realised. As much as he tried to act brave on the outside, inside was still a young, inexperienced teenager. Tyki placed a kiss on his black hair and closed his eyes to sleep, an arm curled around Kanda's waist.

"Good night, Kanda... Rest well..."

* * *

_A punch landed on his face and he dropped to the ground snarling. As he tried to get up, a kick got him squarely in the stomach and he lurched, spitting a few drops of blood._

_Someone pulled him up by his hair and he screamed at them. Another blow to the head and he saw the world spin before him._

"_Get that brat over here now!"_

_He was roughly forced over to the direction of the voice. As he opened his eyes, all he could see were some shadows huddling over a fire and long metal rods in their hands._

_With a sudden realisation he understood what was going on._

"_No! Stop it! No, I won't be branded! Stop! Fuck you, get off me!" He screamed and raged as he attempted to break free of the arms that held him captive but he couldn't._

_One of the men came over, a rod with a fiery red brand at the end in his hand. The man smirked evilly, and edged towards him as he still struggled in a fruitless attempt to get away from the red-hot metal._

"_No! No, damn it! Don't... STOP!"_

_He could see the red-hot mark before his eyes now. It was getting closer and any minute now he would feel it searing against his flesh, burning a mark and branding him forever._

"_STOP IT!"_

* * *

Kanda woke up with cold sweat trickling down his face. He was shivering, not from the cold, and his heart beat had increased rapidly. He was also breathing heavily and he inhaled deeply to calm himself down.

He pushed himself off the bed slowly. Groaning a little, he wondered why he was hurting all over. He was sure that had only been a dream, a vivid memory that came back more than once to haunt him. Even now, it still gave him nightmares that woke him up in the middle of the night shaking.

It was dark now too, but the first lights of dawn were starting to show already. Kanda could see the room a little more clearly now. It didn't seem like his room at all. What happened last night? He had come home from the stupid ball last night, nearly got into bed with a perverse woman that tried to rape him and then...

The realisation sank like a stone to the bottom of his heart. What exactly happened between him and Tyki last night? He remembered being extremely disoriented, confused, and groggy, and Tyki had... Oh damn it, what did Tyki do? Was that the reason he was hurting in all the very wrong places?

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Kanda looked over his shoulder slightly, hoping not to see another person lying there, hoping that last night was just a weird dream and he probably ate something wrong that made him think all those thoughts of Tyki doing all those pleasurable things to him.

His face fell as he saw the sleeping form of the older man, unmistakable with those dark, curly locks falling down his face. But for some strange reason, Kanda didn't feel too disappointed. And it bugged him that he was feeling this way about a man.

That's it. He definitely ate something wrong. He should have stuck to soba.

* * *

I finished this at 2 in the morning even though I started at 9 at night, because my annoying little brother was lingering around here, trying to see what I was writing. Also, I couldn't sleep till I had gotten the smut scene outta my head and into the com.

Now I must go back to sleep. My head is starting to spin as much as Kanda's and I'm hungry too. *Wanders downstairs in search of food*


	6. Chapter 6 Confused Emotions

So sorry this took quite a while, I promise I'll update everything as soon as I can now that the exams are over. First on the list is this, next would be "The Many Faces of Kanda Yuu" and if I'm still feeling chipper, I'd do "Music of the Night" too. Looking at the list of things I have to do, I suddenly wish I could hand over my president position to the juniors ASAP.

Now on to the chapter! Kanda wants his revenge, but I'm not sure how he's going to deal it. He's suffering from confused emotions as well. The things I make him go through.

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Confused Emotions**

Kanda tried to calm himself down. His attempts to drown out those memories of the night before failed terribly, and no matter how he tried, he could still feel that warm breath down his neck, that loving touch caressing his body, and he shuddered to think that he had let a man do all that to him. Kanda shook his head. What a despicable thing, to allow a man to make love to him. He felt awful inside, and an urge to just hit Tyki senseless, maybe even murder him, surfaced within him.

But he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed it. Kanda pulled the sheets a little closer to his chest and closed his eyes. Tyki had loved him, had he not? And it was that feeling that Kanda, no matter how hard he pretended he didn't want it, no matter how hard he tried to tell himself he didn't need it, really longed for.

'_Not this way though. It's not right... No, I can't...'_

He pushed away the sheets and swung his legs off the side of the bed. His body ached, and the drug wore off already, still his head felt the after effects and was silently throbbing a little. He groaned inwardly as he sat there, trying to shift his weight a little and push himself off the bed quietly. He didn't want to wake the other person sleeping beside him.

A strong arm came round and wrapped around his chest. With a yelp, Kanda felt himself pulled back onto the bed and he fell back onto the sheets.

"Where are you going, Kanda? It's so early." A sleepy voice murmured into his ear softly.

Shit, he woke him up. Now what was he going to do? Kanda grabbed Tyki's arm and wrenched it off. "I'm going to my room. And then I have to get the stage ready so later..."

"There's no show today, Kanda, have you forgotten? Or are you trying to get away from me?" Tyki pulled him back down beside him again. But Kanda roughly pushed him away and toppled off the bed in a frantic attempt to get away. Tyki got up slightly and observed the young boy who shakily stood up and glared dangerously at him, slightly flushed.

Kanda took a few deep breaths. "Hell, yes, I'm trying to get away from you! You... Bastard! Last night, I wasn't even half conscious and you... You just came and... You fucking pervert! I'm a guy, you're a guy, for heaven's sake! What the hell happened? What the hell just fucking happened?"

Tyki got up from the bed and approached Kanda slowly, his golden eyes never leaving him. Kanda looked away and tried to hide his shame. Then he felt Tyki pull him into an embrace.

"Do you hate me? Because I know you don't. There's nothing to feel bad about, Kanda. I told you last night, you're perfect to me."

Kanda leaned into his chest, willing himself to believe that everything was going to be alright. Then a sudden flash of memory sparked and Kanda pushed himself away. Tyki saw the fear in his eyes for a brief moment before it disappeared.

"Forget about it. I'm not your sexual slave or anything like that. I may have been bought, but I still have my pride, and damn anyone who tries to break it. Including you."

He turned to walk out and paused at the door, his back to Tyki. "I'm just your assistant, nothing more. Don't get it into your twisted head that I'm anything more than your assistant."

Tyki sighed as Kanda left him standing there. "Foolish boy, why is it that you enjoy inflicting pain on yourself?"

* * *

Kanda was in a rather bad mood the entire day. He was feeling extremely confused, but confusion and mixed feelings didn't work for him, so Kanda just converted all his emotion into the one feeling he knew he could handle best – anger. So here he was, in the storeroom, where Tyki had sent him to look for some long forgotten equipment, and he was angrily kicking crates, ignoring the dust that spewed up.

"Damn it. Where is that fucking chair? Where the heck can a stupid wooden piece of furniture be?" He stormed angrily around the room and slammed various doors open and close in frustration.

He heard amused laughter coming from the door and fumed. He didn't even bother turning around to look because he knew who it was. Stupid Tyki, he just had to come and laugh at him, Kanda Yuu, did he?

"Look, if this is some sick joke of yours, getting me to look for a non-existent chair just to see my reaction, I do not find it funny. Are you even listening to me?" Kanda yelled as he whipped around to face Tyki, who laughed even harder.

Tyki swept some of his hair back as he chuckled. Kanda's heart seemed to miss a beat as he couldn't help thinking how nice Tyki looked when he was laughing happily like that. And then he slapped himself mentally for even praising the bastard. No, he hated Tyki. Yeah, that's right, he hated Tyki like hell. No, worse than hell. Wait, what exactly did he hate Tyki for again?

"The chair... Oh, I'm so sorry, Kanda. I'm really sorry, it's no joke. Stop looking, I've found it already."

"What the heck? And you sent me here for nothing? Did you know how many damn crates I had to go through before you... "

"But it was good anger management, wasn't it? I figured you needed some time alone to yourself, Kanda."

"Yeah, alone with all the dust and scary equipment. I hate magic, and I hate magicians."

"Glad to see your bad mood gone. Now I'll have to remind you, we have a dinner to attend later, so get dressed. I got a few nice dresses laid out on your bed for you."

"Fuck you, magician! I will not wear a dress!" Kanda yelled at him. In his outburst, he kicked over a box by accident and the contents spilled out. Cursing, Kanda bent over to clear them away.

"Kidding, my dear, I was only kidding. I like you the way you are, I don't want any aspect of you to change. Well, except maybe your mouth. You seriously need to learn your manners, boy." Tyki leaned against the door frame and watched him pick up the fallen items.

Kanda paused. He looked carefully at the objects in his hand. Even in the dim light, he could make out that these were swords. Probably used for performances and such, but still rather sharp and lethal. Kanda ran his fingers over one of them. A wave of nostalgia broke over him and with a pang of loss; he remembered how he had trained with swords back home, how he used to be so proud of being the best, and how these very swords had lost in the war against the new weapons brought by invaders. He gripped the sword tightly, cold sweat breaking out on his forehead, and he felt his fighting instinct return to him.

"You like the sword, Kanda?" Tyki came up behind him and hugged him gently from behind. The sudden embrace frightened Kanda and almost like an automatic reflex, Kanda whipped around, forgetting the sword in his hands, to hit Tyki away. Tyki couldn't move fast enough.

The sword sank deep into Tyki's right arm, to Kanda's horror. He didn't mean to slash him; it was just an instinctive reflex. Tyki stumbled backwards with a rather shocked look on his face as well.

"No... Sir, are you..."

A smile broke over Tyki's features and he started laughing once again. Feeling rather annoyed, both with himself for getting worried about the magician and at Tyki for seemingly being not worried the slightest, Kanda snapped.

"Stand still! You'll open the wound further, damn you!"

Tyki only laughed as he pulled the sword out. "Oh, Kanda, Kanda... They don't call me a magician for nothing you know..."

Kanda stared at his arm. It was virtually untouched, there was no blood, let alone any wound. How did he...?

"Here, keep the sword. You won't be murdering me with it, as you have just discovered. And get dressed, we're running late."

As Tyki left, Kanda looked at the weapon in his hands. He checked it for any springs, or any trick hidden in the metal but it was an ordinary sword. So it meant that...

"Who the hell are you?" mouthed Kanda.

* * *

The lights and fancy dresses were still a little too much for him to get used to. Kanda sulked as he followed Tyki into the huge mansion, where the halls were too elegantly furnished for his taste. The large chandeliers were too bright, and the carpet was too rich. Basically, Kanda just didn't like the place.

He watched as Tyki greeted the host graciously and introduce him. Because Tyki would probably say something later, Kanda just gave a curt nod to show that he heard, but not that he was interested to know who they were. Then he followed the entire company of rich fellows into the dining hall.

As the dinner progressed, Kanda felt rather sick, most probably because the food wasn't to his liking. He could do with stale crusts and leftovers during his capture but all these banquets were too much for him to handle. Still sulking, he resorted to prodding the piece of food on his plate. He really didn't know how to eat it.

"Don't be rude, Kanda, just eat it." Tyki whispered. He sat facing him, and was cutting the steak on his own platter. "It's not alive, you can safely swallow it. And it's not drugged, I can assure you that." He said smirking.

Kanda scowled and put down his fork. He declined the offer of red wine as well. The host just took him for an extremely unsociable personal assistant and turned his attention to Tyki instead. Which was just as well, because Kanda just wished he could go home and meditate or something.

Tyki seemed unfazed. This was his world, an entirely different world than Kanda's, and he knew how to carry himself, and how to live in this world. No matter how Kanda tried, he would never be part of this world, not that he wanted to anyway. Yet it made him furious with himself to see that man sitting opposite him, having such a good time, and not knowing how out of place he felt. Kanda clenched his fists, and rested them on his knees. He stared at them as he gripped them tightly, his head bowed down, trying to ignore the laughter and chatter around him. It was not meant for him, this was not his world. His was a world where he fought to survive, where pleasures like these were not allowed, and where pain was to be embraced, not shunned.

Kanda closed his eyes tightly and inhaled. He knew why he hated the man before him so much. It was simply because he wanted so much to be like him, free and with his pride intact. Here he was, struggling to stay alive and please his superiors when Tyki could choose whatever lifestyle he wanted. It wasn't Tyki's fault, but Kanda Yuu could not bear to have anyone superior to him. It was painful, knowing that you did not have the free will to do something.

Kanda was determined to get it back though. He was determined to get his freedom back. But how would he, he didn't know. He also knew that Tyki would, and had already attempted to, give him his freedom. But he was too proud to beg. No, he would get it back some way, but not through Tyki's sympathy.

The said man's laughter rang out in his ears and Kanda looked up. They looked as though they were really having fun, and Tyki obviously had one glass too many. His face was flushed slightly red and he was cracking some rather... Hilarious jokes. The host himself had an extremely crimson complexion, and didn't mind Tyki's state at all, himself having too much to drink too.

Kanda groaned as Tyki made to leave. Now he would have the task of escorting his drunken master back. He would very much like to just drag him along the road all the way back but he restrained that thought. He got up and followed the two men out closely as they said their goodbyes with a few parting comments that got increasingly louder. Kanda winced. Men can be so uncivilised once drunk.

As he hailed a cab and slung the older man's arm over his shoulder, Kanda wondered what he was doing. Just mere days ago, he would've used this as an opportunity to escape, but today here he was making sure that Tyki got back safely. He'd have to go back and take a cold shower; maybe that would reawaken his senses and rejuvenate his priorities.

* * *

How they both reached home in one piece, Kanda never knew. Tyki was so drunk he couldn't even find his balance. Kanda growled angrily as he hauled him through the corridors, kicking open his bedroom door furiously and dragging him in.

He shoved Tyki into a large armchair and stood back, panting slightly. "I got your ass back home already; now don't expect me to put you to bed or something. I'm not your maid."

Tyki smirked at him, and leaned forwards to catch Kanda's arms. Kanda pulled himself out of his grasp. "Did you hear me? Go to sleep or something, it's your own fault for getting drunk."

Tyki grabbed him by the waist suddenly and pulled him onto his lap. Kanda pushed himself up by his shoulders and cursed.

"Fuck you! I don't have time for this! I already told you, I'm not your..."

He hesitated as Tyki moved closer to his neck and whispered hoarsely. He tried to move away but his body was quickly betraying him. The more he struggled against Tyki, the more their bodies rubbed against each other and it was hard not to come into contact with him when he was seated in his lap as he was now.

"Stay with me tonight, Kanda..."

Kanda took a deep breath to calm his senses. "You're... Drunk, sir... You don't know what you're..."

"I know perfectly well what I'm doing... And I want you to stay with me, Kanda."

Kanda pulled away and stared into Tyki's lustful eyes. There was some truth in them and for once, the magician seemed to be pleading for company. Kanda was at a complete loss. He didn't know what it was that the older man wanted.

Tyki's hands moved over to Kanda's buttons and slowly took them off. Gasping in shock, Kanda gripped his hands to stop them but Tyki kissed him roughly, his tongue coaxing the boy's open and wandering into his mouth, caressing the warmth. Kanda's eyes closed slowly as he let Tyki unbutton his shirt and remove the fabric, savouring the kiss and putting up a feeble fight for dominance.

To his surprise, Tyki let his mouth hang open and allowed Kanda to explore it. Hesitating over his sudden submission, Kanda tentatively let his tongue enter Tyki's mouth and roam over the heated space. Tyki smirked slightly at the boy's inexperience and used his tongue to lead Kanda further in.

They broke apart, flushed and heated, a thin thread of saliva suspended between their lips. Tyki nipped it away and moved Kanda's hands to his shirt.

"Take it off."

Kanda unbuttoned the first one, and then paused. "What... What's going on?"

Tyki chuckled and moved his hands to the next button. "Can't you tell?" He leaned closer to whisper in his ear again. "I want you to fuck me, to give me pleasure; just like how I gave you pleasure last night. Don't you want your revenge, boy?"

For a minute, Kanda was stunned. Sure, he wanted revenge, but knowing he couldn't kill the guy ruined his initial plans. And now here he was, vulnerable and challenging him, and yet Kanda was unsure of his next move. Then he crashed his lips into the older man's.

He didn't care about anything now; all he wanted to do was to do to Tyki what he did to him last night and fuck him senseless. And he'd make sure it was rough. No reason to hold back, right?

Tyki smirked against the boy's lips and gasped as Kanda bit him roughly on the lower lip. "Feisty little thing, aren't you?"

Kanda's breath hitched slightly as Tyki's hands felt his sides up. Those hands slipping under his shirt and pulling it off felt so damn good and he couldn't suppress a small shiver. He knew he was inexperienced compared to Tyki and he hated that fact. Kanda Yuu was never one to admit defeat.

He moved closer to Tyki's collarbone and nipped it roughly, eliciting a small moan from the older man. Biting and teasing the flesh without mercy, Kanda actually ripped Tyki's shirt off without really meaning to. All he could think about now was how to make Tyki beg for more.

Before they knew it, they were on the floor, Kanda on top, and fiercely nipping his chest, fingernails digging into Tyki's back and creating red welts on the heated skin. He groaned as Tyki shifted a little under him, their crotches rubbing against each other and sending a tingle down his spine. The older man reached up and nipped on his ear lovingly, causing Kanda to stiffen a little. God, Tyki still knew how to be in control even when he was underneath.

'_Should I even be doing this? If you were perfectly conscious and not drunk, would you even let me do this?'_

His mind was going blank soon. All he could focus on was how good this all felt, and to know that the only person who could make Tyki beg like this would be him. Somehow it made him feel better. It felt nice to know he was important to someone, even belong to someone finally.

He'd deal with any questions in the morning. Right now they were both lost in their own world, where only the two of them existed.


	7. Chapter 7 Bonds of Trust

***Insert repeated disclaimer here***

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Bonds of Trust**

The ringing noise was seriously getting to him. It sounded far away, slightly muffled, but every ring sent a pounding throb to his already aching head. Tyki groaned and cursed that infernal racket that was ringing in his ears.

Then it was gone. Thankful for the silence, he tried to return to sleep.

Something cold and wet splashed all over him and Tyki woke up with a start, dripping wet. "What the heck?" He spluttered.

He looked up to see Kanda standing over him with a killer glare in his eyes and a dripping bucket in his hands. Tossing the bucket casually aside, the Japanese didn't even bother to apologize to the man he had just drenched in cold water. All he did was fold his arms as if he didn't give a damn.

"There was this weird metal contraption in the hallway that was making an infernal ringing noise and I didn't know how to turn it off. So I assumed it was broken and just decided to get rid of it. I thought I'd wake you up to tell you."

Without another word, Kanda stormed out of the room leaving an extremely wet and shivering Tyki lost for words. Then everything clicked into place.

"Oh dear… Kanda, get back here!"

* * *

Kanda didn't look up when Tyki entered the storeroom. He just continued to polish one of the swords in silence, even though it was already gleaming.

To be honest, he really didn't know what to say. He hit himself mentally as he recalled the events of last night. He couldn't deny that it felt good, but a nagging conscience kept telling him it was not his place to ask for more. Besides, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be feeling this way about that sadistic bastard. In a way, he did get some revenge last night, but by doing so, Kanda had snared himself into a tangle of emotions that he found hard to get free of.

Tyki sat down opposite him and observed his work. "If I didn't know better I'd say you're trying to sharpen the sword, not polish it. And the next time the telephone rings, please refrain from smashing it."

At his words, Kanda felt his face burning and he polished the sword even more furiously, nearly snapping the metal in his frenzy. Tyki didn't say anything for the next few minutes, causing a growing silence to form and it really ticked Kanda off. _'How can that bastard stay so quiet with nothing better to do than stare at me?'_

"Can I ask you a question, Kanda?"

Kanda slowed down his polishing just enough to show that he was listening. He wondered what it could be that Tyki Mikk of all people would want to ask him. Come to think of it, it was a little alien to refer to the magician by his name, even though it was in his head. He usually reserved terms such as 'pervert' and 'bastard' for him, so why now the familiarity?

"Do you miss your homeland? As in, are you desperate to return no matter what the consequences?"

"Che. What kind of question is that? Of course I want to go back. I never even liked this fucking place."

"If I free you, and give you the liberty to choose your path, you're saying you'll go back?"

Kanda paused, but he didn't know why he stopped. Of course he'd go back, wouldn't he? Tyki was forcing all this on him, that had to be it. It wasn't his own choice to stay here, was it?

After hesitating, Kanda muttered softly. "That will never happen anyway, would it? So I've never given a damn thought about it."

"I see… Tell me, Kanda. Was there anyone back home who loved you?"

Kanda's hand slipped on the sword, which he begun polishing again. "My… Parents… I guess…"

Tyki chuckled and shook his head. "No, I mean like a lover or something. Or anyone in particular that you liked."

"Not that I can recall. And why the heck are you asking me all these stupid questions? You never cared before, what's making you care now?"

Before Tyki could answer, Kanda got up and chucked the sword back together with the other equipment before storming out. Tyki called after him. "Hey, run an errand for me, will you? I need you to deliver a letter for me."

"Whatever. Give me the damn letter and I'll go."

He snatched the envelope roughly from Tyki and went out. He didn't go far when he saw a carriage pulling up at Tyki's residence and stopped. A small figure got down and made its way towards the house. Kanda recognized her. It was the girl from the ball who called the magician her uncle, Road or something. Upon seeing Kanda, Road waved gleefully and came towards him.

"Ah, it's the pretty boy that Tyki is so fond of. I didn't quite catch your name the other day. Is Tyki home?"

Kanda nodded and then went on his way. The girl pouted. "He really could do with some anger management classes."

* * *

He checked the address on the envelope. Shouldn't be about two more streets away. Turning up his collar in the wind, Kanda kept to the sidewalks. A flash of red followed by a bit of white caught his eye and he stopped.

"Master, wait up!"

"Idiot apprentice, can't you walk any faster?" The man grumbled. His apprentice came up, panting.

Kanda narrowed his eyes. That was the moyashi he had met at the ball as well, along with his infamous master Cross Marian. Kanda decided that he would pretend he didn't notice them. Unfortunately for Kanda, Cross noticed him. He smirked and slowly approached Kanda, who tried to avoid crossing paths with them. When it proved unsuccessful, Kanda stopped and glared at him.

"Why the hell are you trying to block me?"

Cross leaned in closer to him and tilted his face up. Kanda swatted his hand away. "Hands off, baka."

"A foreigner, I see… You're rather attractive. Care to have a drink or two with me?"

"No, I don't. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a job to do."

"Ditch the job and spend some time with me instead. How about it, my dear?"

Allen tapped Cross lightly. "Um, master… He's a… He's a guy…"

Cross pushed Allen away from him and pinned Kanda against the wall. "He's a guy? Wow… You're hot…"

"Call me hot another time and I swear I'll kill you."

"Ooh, you're turning me on… Feisty…"

Just then, another woman caught Cross's eye. Dropping Kanda, he went after her instead. Kanda straightened his coat a little, not too unnerved by the encounter. He had too much experience with Tyki to let this pervert get to him. Allen came up to him.

"Hey, you alright?"

Brushing his sleeves, Kanda retorted. "I see why you're so desperate to escape. Does he do this to you all the time?"

Allen scratched his hair. "Not that often… He's usually too busy sleeping with women to bother harassing me. Hang on… You remember me from the ball! We're friends now, aren't we?" He said excitedly. Kanda slapped his forehead.

"No we are not friends. Now I've got an errand to run so leave me."

"Delivering a letter? I could tell you where to go in case you get lost. Where are you headed?"

"Get lost, moyashi. Wouldn't your master be wondering where you went?"

"No, he's off flirting with that lady over there so he wouldn't miss me. Besides, even if there's going to be punishment later, I'll take it. You see…" Allen dropped his voice to a whisper. "I've already secured my way out of here. That friend of mine I was telling you about? He's already got me a job and he'll be coming to get me soon. I mentioned you to him and he said that it wouldn't be a problem for you to come with us. I was thinking of finding you to tell you but since you're here now…"

Kanda stopped in his tracks. "You're asking me to run away with all of you?"

"Um, yeah… I thought you'd want to. You're still working for Tyki Mikk, aren't you? That guy will never let you go, I heard he's a very dangerous guy! Don't you want to go back?"

Kanda gripped his fists tightly and heaved a deep breath. Tyki's words came back to him with a pang of guilt.

'_Do you miss your homeland? As in, are you desperate to return no matter what the consequences?'_

'_If I free you, and give you the liberty to choose your path, you're saying you'll go back?'_

His fists were shaking. When he had first arrived and was brought to Tyki's house his only desire was to escape from this Godforsaken place by any means possible. So what was stopping him now? He had so many chances to escape, even now, as Tyki sent him on this errand alone, he had the perfect chance to run away and never go back. Why the hell was he even delivering this letter anyway?

"Kanda? Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?" Allen asked in concern.

The Japanese shook his head. "Where's the 4th Avenue again?"

"Go down this street, take a left turn and then enter the second street to your right. I'll come with you…"

"I'll be fine on my own." He strode off, leaving Allen by the sidewalk. After a few steps he paused and turned back to face the boy.

"When will your friend be picking you up? And where will you be meeting him?"

A smile lit up Allen's features. "So you'll be joining us after all? Great! We'll be meeting at the bridge beside Madison's Square at 6 in the morning on Thursday. My friend says it's better to leave when my master is still sleeping or hung over from too much drinking."

Kanda nodded and turned away. Thursday would be 3 days away. Plenty of time to prepare and think over this decision. He forced the uneasy thoughts and guilty emotions down and told himself that he was doing the right thing.

* * *

There was a knock at Tyki's door. As he answered it and threw it open, someone flung herself onto him squealing his name and knocked him to the ground, also knocking the breath out of him. He gasped for breath and registered the image in front of him.

"Road? What are you doing here? There's no magic show today, and I'm not going to perform any tricks for you now."

"I just wanted to see my favorite Tyki, that's all… And I wanted to talk to you too." She glanced at Tyki's collar. It was slightly unbuttoned and there was a faint bruise at the bottom of his neck. Road frowned.

"Have you been having rough sex with a woman last night?"

Tyki shoved her off roughly. "Um… No."

Road gasped. "Have you been having rough sex with a man last night?" She asked disbelievingly.

"Um… What makes you say that?"

Road placed her arms on her hips. "You've got something on your neck."

Tyki's hand went subconsciously to the place where Kanda had roughly nipped him the night before and pulled up his collar. "I had a shaving accident, that's all. My hand slipped."

"It slipped so far down?" She raised her eyebrow.

The older man placed his hands on her shoulders. "Road, what would my brother say if he found out I was having discussions about such stuff with his lovely daughter?"

"Fine, forget I asked. But if you really were having sex with a woman, tell me who it is. Because Father's going to pick a fiancée for you soon."

Tyki's jaw dropped. "What's he thinking? Forcing me into marriage? If this is another elaborate plot to get me settled down and stop performing I'm going to tell my dear brother exactly what I think of it."

"It was the Earl's idea too."

Tyki straightened and frowned. "And let me guess, all the others are all for it too? Nice family we are, really supportive, thanks…"

"Don't get mad at me, Tyki! I just thought I'd tell you before they spring the surprise date on you! But honestly speaking, it was a lot nicer when you spent more time with us though…"

"It's not that I don't like spending time with you, Road. It's just that I'm busy with my performances and visits and all. I'm just a bit different from the rest of the family, especially my manipulative brother. No offence to your father, Road."

Road sighed and looked around the place. "I saw that assistant of yours leaving just now. You sent him on an errand?"

"Yeah, so did I. Is there a problem with that?"

The girl shrugged. "No, nothing. He's got temper issues, that guy. I don't see what you like about him that much. You should've gotten someone else to replace Maria."

Tyki hesitated a little. "Kanda has been… A little hard to manage, yes. But at least he won't betray me, that's a good thing."

"How do you know, Tyki? He doesn't look very pleased about the place, and he's certainly not very fond of you. I mean, if you give him a chance, he'd probably ditch you and return to his homeland!"

"Are you certain that's how he feels?"

"Positive. When I met him just now, I kinda…"

"You used your powers and read his mind?"

Road shuffled her feet. "I didn't mean to… There was just such strong emotion pouring from him I couldn't help but prod around. He's a little messed up though, he's experiencing too much at one go."

The magician sighed and ruffled his hair a little. "I worry about that guy… But he looks like he's handling it well."

His niece turned to go. "I'll be leaving now, Tyki. Be a little more careful, alright? There's a dinner gathering tomorrow night, and you'd better be there because the Earl's going to be attending. And you know how he's like when people miss important dinners."

"Yeah, I get it alright. Thanks, Road." He dropped a kiss onto her forehead, much to her annoyance. "Stop treating me like a kid, Tyki!"

"But you are, and give me a lift, will you? There's somewhere I need to go before Kanda gets back."

"Alright but first tell me if you were sleeping with that assistant of yours last night."

"Damn you, Road. You know I can't say that..."

* * *

Evening was fast falling and Kanda hastened his steps. Sure, he had taken his own sweet time strolling around the streets since it was his first time outside without Tyki. But he knew he didn't want to be back too late either so he quickened his pace and made for home as soon as he could.

The place was dim as he entered, and Kanda looked around for Tyki. Strange, the magician didn't seem to be home. Great, more alone time. Kanda returned to his room and sat down on the bed, his head in his hands. He wanted to be able to have time to think about his next move. Freedom was so close now, but every time he thought about leaving a strange feeling like guilt would seemingly grab him and drag him back into a pit of uncertainty.

Firstly, he needed some money to survive. He would have to convince Tyki that he needed allowance, he figured. But what if he suspected anything? And then again, he was never sure of the man's schedule. What if he left at an inconvenient time and the magician caught him? Kanda shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts.

'_Tell me, Kanda. Was there anyone back home who loved you?'_

Kanda sat up straight with a jolt. What exactly was he returning for now? His village had been burned to the ground, and he wasn't sure if there were any survivors or if they had been taken captive like him. He got up shakily and leaned his forehead against the wall. If he left now, what would Tyki say?

He kicked the wall furiously and rammed his fist into the boards. He gave the wall another punch and felt something wet trickling down his fist. Just then, the door opened and Tyki stood there with his eyebrows raised.

"My, my… You destroyed my telephone this morning and now you're trying to destroy my house. What's gotten into you, my dear?"

His eyes wandered to Kanda's bloody fist and he sighed as he walked over. "Let's get this bandaged. And while we're at it, you could make a mental reminder to yourself to stop trying to hurt yourself."

Kanda sat there quietly as Tyki slowly cleaned his wound and wrap a bandage around it. The man was muttering to himself as he wound the cloth around the boy's palm.

"I let you be alone for just a couple of hours and you start beating things up. You're just like a 3 year old kid with a tantrum."

Kanda snapped out of his trance and looked away angrily. "I'm not a kid. I was just a little tired."

"Tired enough to bully the wall? Road was right, you've got some issues."

He stood up and motioned to Kanda. "Come on, I brought you something. But you've got to promise me you'll never do something this stupid again, alright?"

Nodding dumbly, Kanda followed Tyki to his room, wondering what it could be that the man wanted to show him.

Tyki pulled out a long thing and handed it to Kanda. "Now don't try to hurt me with it, because you know you can't. And don't try to hurt yourself with it, because I will make sure I'll hurt you even more."

Shakily, Kanda unwrapped the thing and gasped. Sleek and sharp, the katana was beautifully decorated and skillfully forged. It looked like the ones he used to see his father wield back in his homeland. He ran his fingers along the curved blade and something prickled in his eyes.

"What… Why…"

"You seemed to love the swords I used for my tricks so I thought you'd like one. Took me a while to find a Japanese sword, mind you, but it was worth it. Now will you be a good boy and stop hurting yourself?"

Kanda sheathed the sword and muttered. "A… Arigatou… I mean… Thank… Thank you…"

Long fingers lifted his chin and brought his gaze to meet Tyki's golden eyes. "I want you to stay by my side, forever…"

He let Tyki's lips close in onto his own, and his hands wandered to the man's shoulders. All thoughts were abandoned, and he gripped the fabric of Tyki's coat tightly, not wanting to let go.

There may not have been anyone back home who loved him, but Kanda was quite sure that there was somebody here who did now.


	8. Chapter 8 Complications

I can't believe we're up till chapter 8 already. Thanks to everybody for their tremendous support! Your reviews and opinions mattered a lot to me. Seriously. Sorry this took a while, busy with Language Week preparations. This will be my last big project before I hand over my president post to the next generation.

Now back to the story. Internal and external conflicts are bound to arise, and Tyki and Kanda are far from being safe together so… Read on.

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Complications**

Tyki opened his eyes and breathed deeply. Morning had just come and the first rays of sunlight were peeking through the curtains. A ray rested on the sleeping form of his assistant beside him and Tyki shifted slightly to wrap one arm around Kanda's waist.

He had fun last night, and Kanda had given him much pleasure. Last night reminded him just why he liked the boy. Everything about him Tyki loved. The way his eyes lit up with dark fire, the way he moaned for more, the way he denied him again and again, finally giving a little reluctantly, yet Tyki knew Kanda liked it as well, even if he would deny it later.

The boy looked so peaceful in his sleep, much to Tyki's relief, because he was usually in so much turmoil. His actions yesterday worried Tyki very much and he wanted for Kanda to relax sometimes. Placing his lips onto Kanda's hair gently, he cradled him in his arms and inhaled. Kanda's scent was intoxicating, and Tyki longed to stay in bed for as long as he wanted, but it was time to wake up already. He smirked. The boy must be tired, for he usually woke up earlier than Tyki.

"Time to wake up, Kanda." He whispered softly.

Kanda made a soft groaning noise and his arm moved to the magician's that was wrapped around his waist. He gripped Tyki's arm subconsciously and for a minute, Tyki thought that maybe things would be different from now on. That Kanda had finally given in and reciprocated.

The Japanese opened his eyes slowly and blinked sleepily. He turned his head, taking in the view of Tyki's room, the morning sun behind the blinds, and finally Tyki himself. Then he jerked and pushed Tyki off him, nearly jumping out of bed as he scrambled to get his clothes.

Tyki watched him pull on his pants in a hurry. "What's the hurry, Kanda?"

Kanda could only stutter as he buttoned his shirt. "I… I need to get to work…" And then mutter something about oversleeping.

"If you're tired we could take a break today, you know." Tyki called after him as he practically ran from the room. Sighing, Tyki got dressed and followed after.

* * *

Kanda hid backstage in the performance hall and leaned against the dusty walls. Trying to catch his breath, his thoughts wandered to Tyki.

He remembered how they first met, when he was being offered for sale, and Tyki had come up and offered to buy him. How he hated that man since then, for no obvious reasons. He told himself he would run away, find a way to get away from Tyki, but he found it hard to detach himself from this lifestyle now.

His first night here and Tyki untied him, whispering into his ear. He never forgot how that man sent shivers down his spine just by saying he was beautiful. No one ever called him that before. And then he somehow became his assistant. The first time he saw Tyki in a performance, he remembered being frightened at the prospect of the magician's act going awry. Why he felt that way, he never knew. He dismissed it as being unsecure, that's all. But now he wasn't really sure he was unsecure or actually worried.

Kanda had to admit, he was surprised at how the man treated him. Tyki always referred to him never as a servant, but with a certain amount of respect, nearly an equal, yet Kanda had never referred to him by his name before. Tyki never asked to be called master, even though he exerted an aura of authority. And he always brought him out for any formal functions, and Kanda got to experience the world Tyki lived in, more or less.

And the more he did, the more he hated Tyki. Why was it that Tyki had to exist in a world so far from his? That they were so different, and he was despised by all of Tyki's kind? Was it because he treated them with an equal hate?

But Tyki was different, he seemed different. And that night, when he gave in to his desire and to Tyki, everything changed, everything just went downhill for him. Not that his life was ruined, but Kanda just started to question so many things about their relationship. At first he refused to acknowledge the master-servant relationship between them but now he was sorely wishing it stayed at just that. Tyki was everything Kanda wouldn't be, or never had. And his mere existence made Kanda's insides squirm at the very thought.

"_I want you to stay by my side, forever…"_

Kanda balled his fists. Was what the magician said true? The man was a performer through and through, and Kanda had come to learn that magic wasn't real; it was just a handful of tricks. And Tyki was a master of it.

His heart sank as he realized Tyki could've just as well been manipulating his feelings, just to get him to bed or to obey his orders. The sword couldn't even have meant anything to him, even if it meant a lot to Kanda. He cursed himself for believing that Tyki loved him.

'_Fool, he could have been toying with you! What the fuck were you thinking?'_

He remembered how easily he had given in last night. He was losing his wariness against Tyki, and just a simple act of so-called kindness granted Tyki access to him for the whole night. He felt like a whore. He felt cheated. There was no way Tyki actually meant what he said. He was just a slave; Tyki was a famous and rich man, why would he even choose him over so many people?

"There you are. Is anything the matter, Kanda?"

Kanda turned his head away from the voice and started to walk out but Tyki grabbed his hand and held it tightly. "Is there something wrong?"

Kanda mustered up his courage, and then whirled around to face Tyki before snapping. "Yeah, there's something wrong. For starters, you could keep your fucking promises to yourself. They're all lies, I know it, I don't need your sword too. If you want so badly to get me to sleep with you then just say it. I can't trust you, I can't!"

The grip on his wrist tightened. "You seemed so placid last night, and now you're already fired up and ready for a go at me. I should be the one who couldn't trust you; you're the one always changing your mind."

Kanda wrenched his hand out of Tyki's grip. "You've got nothing to lose if I can't be trusted, but I've given you everything I had left! My dignity, my pride, my trust, everything! What more do you want to cheat out of me? Am I some pathetic whore that you keep in your closet?"

With a sudden movement, he was pinned to the wall, arms held over his head in a powerful, relentless grip. Tyki leaned close to him.

"Don't get me wrong, if that was all I wanted, I would've had my way with you, you know very well I'm capable of it. I would've chained you to the bed and fuck you without your consent; make you scream and beg for mercy and maybe keep you alive just to taunt your helplessness. Why the hell would I go to so much trouble to charm you?"

Kanda shook his head, trying to ignore the stinging sensation in his eyes. "Just stop this game… Just stop it… Why would anyone like you mean what you said to someone like me?"

"Look at me, Kanda. Look at me. That's an order."

Shakily, Kanda brought his gaze up to the piercing golden ones. As their gazes met, Tyki noted the fear and uncertainty in the young man's eyes. Those dark eyes, they reflected the boy Kanda might have been, and reminded Tyki just how young Kanda actually was. He was, despite how strong he pretended to be, extremely vulnerable and fragile.

Tyki cupped his face gently as he spoke. "I don't care about what people might say, I've always been one to choose whatever pleasures I want. And when I saw you, I chose you, and I don't have any regrets about it. So why are you worried about anything?"

"I've learned never to trust your kind. I've seen how evil you all can get, how inhumane you treat us, your so-called inferiors."

"Have I treated you as inferior? Well, apart from dominating in bed…"

Kanda didn't answer. Then he muttered quietly. "I need time. Everything's happening too fast. I just need some fucking time to be by myself, to think about this."

Tyki kissed him gently on the forehead. "I'll give you time. I'm sorry it never occurred to me that you'd feel so insecure about being with me."

The boy nodded dumbly as he staggered off towards the exit. He paused shortly to ask. "I'll be getting the stage ready. Is there anything else I'm supposed to do?"

Tyki smiled. Kanda was at his best when he had something to do. "Not really, but I'm having a dinner tonight, so if you have the time, make sure you get ready after the show."

His assistant nodded and left. Tyki felt a sense of foreboding for some odd reason as he mentioned the dinner. Something was going to happen tonight, but he hoped it wouldn't be bad for the both of them.

* * *

"I thought you said this was a dinner, not a ball?" Tyki said irritably as a few ladies waved at him. Road shrugged.

"Father invited a few people for a small evening dance I guess."

"You call this small? How many people did he invite exactly?"

Kanda kept a low profile and tried to stay unnoticed, eyes watching his surroundings warily. The last time he came to a ball, things didn't go well and he ended up… Oh God, he refused to think about it. He stayed close to Tyki this time, but seeing the Noahs come over made him withdraw from the only person he could try and trust.

Tyki glanced at him. "I won't be long. Will you be alright on your own?"

Nodding, Kanda turned his head away as Tyki went to greet the rest of his family. He pushed his way through the scores of people, declining invitations to drink or dance.

Meanwhile, Tyki was welcomed by someone familiar to him.

"My dear brother, how are you doing?" The man strode over and attempted to embrace him but Tyki raised his hand to stop him.

"Cyril, please. You know I detest these displays of affection. Now would you kindly explain to me…"

"But my beloved brother, it's been such a long time since I've seen you. You've certainly grown a lot more charming and I bet you could seduce any one of those ladies out there if you wanted."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about all those ladies. Why the heck are there so many of them?" Tyki asked irritably.

Cyril looked unperturbed. "For you to have fun, of course! You need to get married, Tyki. Getting married is the best part of life! Look at me and see how happy I am!"

Tyki breathed heavily. "Yeah, I know perfectly well why you married… Look, I'll only marry when I've found someone I love, not out of an arranged marriage or betrothed."

Lulubell cleared her throat. "Cyril, she's just over there." She and Tyki avoided looking at each other. Cyril however, clapped his hands.

"Great, Tyki, I want to introduce you to someone. Have you met Miss Menkes before? She's from an influential family with a high status, and her quiet nature makes her a perfect wife."

Tyki groaned. "Oh, come on, no way I'm going to resort to that. Besides, married life will only hinder my career. And I derive pleasure from my performances, you know I do."

"But it annoys us. Besides, you have everything any man would kill to get; power, wealth, charms, status…"

"And a really annoying family."

"That wasn't very nice."

Tyki spared a glance at the young girl standing not far off. She didn't look too bad, and from the looks of it, she was highly educated and well raised. Cyril nudged his younger brother.

"Let's go over and meet her, shall we?" He caught Tyki by the arm and practically dragged him over to where the girl was standing with her mother.

"Good evening, Madam Menkes. You look lovely tonight." Cyril took her hand lightly and placed a kiss on her glove. The woman smiled and the girl beside her blushed when she saw both of them. Tyki rolled his eyes. His brother was, and always will be, such a charmer.

"Always the flatterer, I see, Sir Kamelot. Not that I dislike it. And who may this charming young man be?"

"Oh, he's my younger brother, Tyki Mikk." Tyki nodded curtly, and introduced himself. "Pleasure to meet you, Madam."

"Nice meeting you too, Sir Mikk. Have you met my daughter Elizabeth yet?" The girl beside her blushed even more as Tyki smiled at her.

"No, I haven't, and I'm shocked that I failed to notice such a beautiful lady before." Cyril smiled as Tyki kissed Elizabeth's hand too. His younger brother was so much like him, with his flattering ways.

Madam Menkes looked pleased. "Would you care to have a dance with my daughter, Sir Mikk? Elizabeth, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Elizabeth curtsied politely. "It would be my honour." She took the arm Tyki offered her and Tyki placed his other arm around her waist as the music started.

As Cyril returned, Road was waiting, sucking on a lollipop. "Father, is the Earl really going to engage Tyki to her?"

"Why not? Is it a bad thing? What does my adorable little girl have to say about it?"

"Nothing." Road looked around. "Hey, where did those idiotic twins go?"

Cyril looked around as well. "No idea. Once they heard Tyki was coming, they asked whether he was bringing his assistant, laughed maniacally and then left. Never saw them since."

* * *

"Hey, young man! Hold on for a second!"

Kanda stopped and turned to face whoever was hailing him. A well-dressed man came over. "You're Sir Mikk's assistant, aren't you? There's something I need to pass to him, can you give it to him?"

Kanda answered irritably. "Why can't you give it to him yourself?" And then he caught himself and added. "Sir."

The man laughed heartily. "He's rather busy at the moment, isn't he? Besides, I've owed him this stack of money for quite a while now, it would be best if I returned it sooner. Here you go, and make sure all five hundred pounds gets to him. Tell him Mr. Barry sends his best regards and thanks for the loan."

Kanda's eyes widened as he took the small brown parcel. Five hundred pounds was a lot of money in those days, and he pocketed it carefully. The man patted him on the back, thanked him and left.

The Japanese glanced over to the centre of the ballroom. Now he knew why that man said Tyki was busy. He was dancing with a pretty young girl, and many others were looking extremely jealous.

"Feeling jealous, boy?"

"Hee hee, the Asian kid's jealous!"

Kanda gripped his sword tightly. "I'm not jealous. Who is that girl anyway?"

Devit placed an arm around Kanda's shoulder. "Tyki's future fiancée. Now are you jealous?"

Jasdero poked the sword and Kanda wrenched it out of his reach. "Hands off. And no, I am not jealous."

"He's got a sword, the kid's got a sword, hee!" The twins laughed and before Kanda knew it, the sword was out of his grasp and they were disappearing through the crowd.

"Get back here! Damn it!" Kanda ran after them. God, he hated playing silly games like this.

After running into people and pushing his way through others, Kanda finally caught up to them and snatched the sword back. The twins collapsed on the carpet, laughing maniacally.

"I don't have time to play silly games with you!" Kanda said angrily as he marched off. Devit called after him.

"You really love that toy sword of yours, don't you? Did Tyki-pon give it to you?"

Laughing, Jasdero chorused. "The kid's got a present from Tyki-pon, hee!"

His face flushing, Kanda wasn't sure if he was red from anger or embarrassment. The ball was ending already, and thankfully, as he glanced towards the dance floor, no one was waltzing anymore. Kanda scolded himself. Was he actually jealous back then?

"There you are. What have you been doing? You look as if you've been chased by something." Tyki appeared beside Kanda.

Kanda muttered. "I wasn't chased, I was chasing something. Can we go back now?"

Tyki sighed. "Kanda's chasing girls now, is he? I'm heartbroken." They went out and Tyki hailed a cab. Kanda felt his anger flare up again. He was the one chasing girls now, was he? Who was the one flirting with the ladies just now?

His hand gripped the hilt of the sword again and suddenly, he realized his pocket was empty. In his shock, Kanda searched his coat and discovered the parcel of money was missing.

"Damn it…" He cursed under his breath and dashed in again.

Where could he have dropped it? It must have happened as he was chasing those two idiots. The parcel must've fell out of his pocket. But he didn't feel anything dropping, did he? How was he going to explain this to Tyki?

"What's the matter, Kanda? What are you looking for?"

Kanda nearly jumped. He was so focused on locating the missing parcel. Breathing heavily, he gave the hall one last glance. His heart sank as he realized that someone could have actually stolen it as he bumped into them in his hurry.

"Nothing. I… I thought I saw… I thought I saw someone I knew."

Tyki raised on eyebrow suspiciously. "Is that so? Let's go now, I'm not too keen on staying here any longer."

He didn't have a choice but to follow Tyki. The whole way home, Kanda racked his brains to try and think of a way to solve this. He wasn't going to tell Tyki he lost his money, and he couldn't go back to Mr. Barry and ask for another, could he?

Tyki was slightly perplexed by Kanda's attitude. The boy seemed bothered by something. Did he notice Tyki dancing with Elizabeth just now? He heard from Road that the twins were keen on bothering Kanda and he hoped that they didn't say anything stupid to him.

Once inside the house, Tyki wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist. Kanda didn't struggle this time, his mind was too occupied with problems.

"Tell me what's the matter, Kanda. Are you jealous?"

The question seemed to bring Kanda back to his senses. He jerked away angrily. "The heck I'm jealous! Why is everyone asking me that stupid question? Why would I be jealous of the rich and handsome Tyki Mikk, who's about to get a pretty and wealthy fiancée? Like hell I'm jealous…"

Tyki chuckled. "You are jealous. Don't worry, Kanda, I'm not getting married. Then again, if I do, I'll still keep you, so we can have fun whenever I'm tired of my wife."

"Like hell I'll let a fucking bastard like you do that." Tyki silenced him by kissing him passionately. Kanda closed his eyes and sighed as Tyki nipped his lip lovingly.

"So how can I make it up to you? How about spending the night in my room?" He whispered into Kanda's ear and nipped at his neck, eliciting a moan from the younger man.

Kanda let Tyki do whatever he wanted. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he was beginning to trust the man, or maybe Kanda was just trying to make Tyki trust him. Either way, as he lay under the sheets late into the night, Kanda wondered how he was going to work his way out of this problem now.

He gripped the sheets tightly as a stabbing pain that felt like disappointment ran through him. He didn't want Tyki to get married either, not even engaged. Kanda felt selfish because he wanted to keep Tyki for himself. He wouldn't have anything left if even Tyki left him.

He sat up and looked at the man sleeping beside him. Then he got off the bed gently without rousing Tyki and went out of the room.

The front door wasn't locked. Either Tyki forgot to lock it, or he trusted Kanda too much already. He placed his hand on the knob and turned it softly. Then he stepped out into the cold night air.

There was no other way. He would have to do this.


	9. Chapter 9 Distrust

Wrote this in the library on some paper when I had some free time the other day so I'm just typing it into the computer and uploading it. I only hope no one was reading over my shoulder.

Disclaimer: You know who DGM rightfully belongs to.

* * *

**Chapter 9 - Distrust**

Tyki checked his reflection in the mirror. Looking good as usual, he told himself, and then he decided to go check on Kanda. That boy had been acting rather strangely ever since that evening ball two days ago and had definitely not been himself since. Tyki recalled, on the night they came back, Kanda had slipped out of the house in the middle of the night. What for, he didn't know.

All he knew was that Kanda was already back around dawn, before Tyki woke up. The magician has been so tired that day he forgot to ask his assistant about it and later, the following night, Kanda slipped out of the house yet again. Tyki furrowed his eyebrows as he pondered over this. Why was Kanda going out on all these little night excursions?

Heaving a small sigh, he knocked on his assistant's bedroom door. Upon hearing no answer, Tyki lost his patience and entered Kanda's room.

It was dark and unlit, and labored breathing came from a figure curled under the bed sheets. Tyki approached the bed slowly and placed his hand on Kanda's shoulder gently.

"Kanda? Is everything alright?"

The boy gasped and jerked away from his touch, pulling the sheets tighter around him. Tyki was shocked to feel the heat emanating from his body that he could feel just by touching him, and traces of cold sweat lingered on his palm. Immediately he reached out again to feel Kanda's forehead.

"You have a fever, my dear. A terrible one at that."

"I'll… I'll be fine… I'll be up in… A few… A few minutes…" Kanda answered hoarsely and succumbed to a coughing fit as he tried to sit up.

Worry gripped his heart as he watched Kanda tremble after coughing. Without a word, he went out and then came back again with some pills and a glass of water. After much coaxing, he managed to get Kanda to sit up and lean on his shoulder.

"Here, take this. It'll make the fever go down."

Kanda fumbled weakly as he felt for the pills, took them and swallowed the tiny white tablets with the help of the water. Then, shuddering, he slumped back under the sheets. Tyki looked at him for a few moments before leaving to get a towel from the bathroom.

It had rained heavily last night, Tyki knew, and if Kanda went out in that storm, it wasn't surprising that he fell sick. Tyki shook his head. That assistant of his was really a handful, getting sick and all. He would've thought a boy his age could've taken better care of himself.

Not that Kanda was as old as him. He reminded himself that the boy was nearly a decade younger than him, eight or nine years' gap to say the very least. Something was definitely troubling the younger man, if he wasn't already so troubled.

Tyki went into his room again and wiped some of Kanda's sweat away gently. Kanda was breathing heavily, his slumber interrupted now and then by sudden coughs. As Tyki gazed at his shaking form, he decided to let things be for a while. Leave all the unanswered questions till later.

Just as he was about to get up and leave, Kanda muttered softly.

"No… Don't leave yet…"

Tyki paused, and then settled at the bed side to stroke his hair. "I won't. I'm not going anywhere."

Kanda shifted slightly before moaning. "It's not… No… I have to find him…"

He was delirious, Tyki realized. His fever must be terrible. But at the same time, a strange feeling crept into his heart. Who exactly was Kanda talking about?

It was a while before Kanda stopped tossing and turning in his sleep and Tyki judged it safe enough to leave him. Yet everything left an unpleasant void in his soul, many questions were still yet to be answered.

But he had already decided not to pursue those matters for today, did he not?

Still, Tyki couldn't help but mutter angrily. "Shit, Kanda, why aren't you telling me anything? What the heck are you hiding from me?"

* * *

"Say I can't come."

"But Elizabeth will be there and she'll be awfully disappointed."

"Do you think I care? Road, I'm busy."

"Sheesh, Tyki. Father won't be pleased."

Tyki rolled his eyes as he clutched the receiver tightly. Road had called to ask him over for tea, but Tyki knew better than not to expect a date waiting for him.

"My assistant is ill. I need to take care of him."

"He's a grown man. He can take care of himself, can't he?"

"He was delirious. It's really bad."

"Stop being so stubborn, Tyki."

"Am not."

"Am too."

"Stop being so childish."

"Just go!" An angry voice burst out and Tyki looked up to see Kanda glaring at him from the door. Then his entire frame shook, his eyes closed and Tyki dashed forward to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Damn it, what are you doing out of your room? You're sick, Kanda." Tyki carried him to the couch and placed him carefully on it.

"Just… Go where ever you need to be… I'll be fine on my own."

Tyki felt his forehead again. "The fever is still there. I don't feel safe about leaving you here on your own. God knows what kind of trouble you'll get into."

"Che, I can take care of myself."

The older man glanced at the clock overhead. Then he looked at his young charge. "If I go now, I'll be gone for a couple of hours or so. I'll try to be back before then but will you be alright on your own?"

The Japanese nodded slowly. "Just fucking leave before this talking gives me a headache."

Tyki chuckled and dropped a kiss on his forehead. "Rest well, okay? I'll be back as soon as I can."

Kanda opened his eyes and glared at him. "Don't treat me like some stupid kid who needs… Who needs a goodnight kiss from his mother."

"Alright, alright, point taken."

He heard Tyki go out and the door closed behind him. There was silence in the house for a few moments, only the sound of the clock ticking could be heard. Kanda opened his eyes slowly again and blinked to clear his vision. Groggily, he pulled himself up and tried to stand.

His vision swam before him but he forced himself to walk to the closet and grab a new shirt. He pulled it on and then proceeded to sweep his hair into a ponytail. Then he made his way out of the house, careful to close the door behind him.

His head was spinning so badly but Kanda was stubbornly making his way to town. He had to find something to do, some random errand to run, for he needed cash desperately. He knew he would be in deep trouble for losing Tyki's money but he wasn't going to tell him that. Kanda decided that he would just do things his way and try and earn the money back. He didn't want to have to rely on Tyki anymore.

Kanda's only worry now was that Tyki would get back before he did. That would spell trouble. Of course it would be much easier to just tell the man what was going on. Kanda shook his head. No, no more relying on him.

* * *

Tyki got down from the carriage and entered the garden from a small side gate. The lawn was neatly kept, and the fences were white washed. Not far off, Tyki could hear some chatter. It sounded more than just his brother and Elizabeth. He groaned. How many people will there be exactly for this tea party?

Cyril looked up as he heard Tyki approach and smiled broadly. "I'm glad you could make it, my dear brother! Come over here and have a seat."

Tyki pulled up a chair and sat down, greeting Elizabeth with a dazzling smile as he did so. The girl blushed and smiled back at him.

"Good day to you, Sir Mikk."

"Feel free to call me Tyki."

Road came over and threw her arms around his neck. "Tyki, you came!" And then she muttered in an under tone. "I thought you weren't coming?"

"I changed my mind."

"You changed it, or did Kanda change it for you?"

"Road, why don't we leave your uncle alone so he can spend some free time with our guest?" Cyril asked. Road gave Tyki a look that clearly said "Do you want me to stay or not?"

Tyki looked up at his brother. "I um… I kinda promised Road I'll take her out to the stables today."

"Yeah, I wanted to see the pretty horses."

Cyril clapped his hands together. "Wonderful! Tyki, you can bring not alone Road along, but Elizabeth too. I'll have the groom bring out two of the best horses for riding."

Tyki nearly fainted at the proposal but he merely smiled and accepted it. It would be useless to convince his brother otherwise, and besides, he had to a gracious host, right?

He remembered the times when he was younger. His brother would teach him how to ride a horse, like a gentleman would, Cyril always said. He loved his family, and he loved being part of the Noahs, but things have changed now. What he would give to go back to those times.

Road got onto one of the horses and held the reins. Then Tyki realized something.

"Uh, wait, two horses for three people?"

His niece glanced at the two of them. "Oh, I guess you would have to share with Elizabeth, wouldn't you?"

If Tyki were any younger he would have blushed but instead he raised his eyebrows. Turning to Elizabeth, he offered his hand.

"Do you mind?"

The girl hesitated then shook her head. "As a matter of fact, I don't."

He helped her get on the horse and then settled behind her. Tyki watched the horse in front of them at the same time. Road was liable to start galloping the horses and then Cyril would have his head for "endangering" his precious daughter.

At the same time, he couldn't help but worry about his assistant back at home. He hoped he could leave soon, and check on Kanda.

He felt Road's eyes on him and looked up. His niece was smirking as she turned back to her horse and Tyki heard a voice in his head.

'_Tell him how you feel, wouldn't you?'_

'_No can do, my dear. Concentrate on guiding your own horse.'_

'_Oh, the horse can see for itself. What would your lover think if he knew you were dating another woman?'_

Tyki felt somewhat annoyed._ 'I am not dating another woman and I do not have a lover.'_

'_Whatever.'_

Yet, he knew he couldn't go on like this. Who was he to berate Kanda about hiding things when he himself had so many secrets to keep?

* * *

Getting back home wasn't easy this time, because there was such a burden on Tyki's mind. He wondered if they could have a proper talk when he got home. Then a figure at the front door caught his eye.

It was Kanda, who looked as if he just got back from somewhere. Tyki froze in his tracks. Did Kanda pretend to be sick so that he could leave the house when unattended?

As if answering his question, the young man reached out to unlock the door, but dropped to the ground before he could enter in a faint. Tyki ran over to his unconscious body and picked him up gently.

"You fool, where the heck did you go? What's so important that you could risk your health not to miss?" He muttered angrily as he carried Kanda back to his room.

The fever went down already, but Tyki knew that his body was extremely weak and over exhausted, which was why he fainted in the first place. His clothes looked rather worn out too, and he was quite dirty all over. So it was only natural when Kanda opened his eyes eventually for Tyki to ask.

"Do you want to take a bath now, Kanda?"

The boy sat upright in shock. "You're… You're back."

"What's the matter? Missed me already?"

Kanda looked away angrily. "Che. No."

Tyki got off his bed. "You better wash up, but remember to dry yourself. We can't have you catching another cold."

As the magician walked out, Kanda gripped the bed sheets. He was sure that Tyki was starting to catch on, but he still had one last errand to run before everything could go back to normal again. Till then, he just had to keep this façade up. He didn't count on falling sick though, and catching a cold only slowed down everything. Just his luck.

He knew tomorrow was Thursday already. And that would mean that the moyashi and his friend would be waiting for him at Madison's Square at dawn.

Kanda pushed himself off the bed and made for the drawers. He pulled out a roll of notes and added some new ones from his pocket to the stash. Looks like he would have to go out again tonight for a few more errands. He had added his own money that Tyki had given him for allowance to the stack as well. The sum was nearly enough, and Kanda wanted to at least be able to return the money he lost to Tyki before he left for Madison's Square the next morning.

He counted the money for one last time, and then kept it into the drawer before heading to the bathroom.

* * *

"Why can't I get you out of my head for just one fucking moment?"

Tyki sank into his arm chair and placed his head in his hands. He wanted to just stop thinking about everything for just one moment and calm himself down. His life had changed so much ever since Kanda made an entrance and he wasn't sure what he would do if the boy ever left.

"This isn't working…" He mumbled as he reached for a bottle of wine on his table. Maybe if he was drunk, it would be easier to forget everything for a while.

Staring at the amber liquid that strangely reflected the color in his eyes, Tyki wondered if it was too much to wish that they were both living in a different world than this.

* * *

Just a note for the next chapter: Things will be getting really graphic and violent, and for those who cannot take non-con, do steer clear from the next chapter. I warned you.


	10. Chapter 10 Breaking Point

Back from hiatus, and the first thing I write is this.

Oh, and before I forget, I do not own DGM, Tyki or Kanda. If I did I would make Tyki fuck Kanda senseless in the manga.

**WARNING: EXTREMELY DARK AND ANGSTY PART UP AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE EASILY DISTURBED BY RAPE.**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – Breaking Point**

The morning mist still hung in the air, and the still cold atmosphere of early dawn brought shivers to his body. Even though he felt better already, but there was no doubt he was still quite weak after falling sick. Kanda pulled his coat tighter around him and continued on his way.

He could feel the sword hanging from his hip as he moved. Closing his eyes tightly, he wondered how he was going to explain everything to Tyki later.

Kanda broke into a run, ignoring the wind that rushed past his ears. What would Tyki say? What would Tyki do? Would he ever be forgiven?

His heart sank as he thought about the next question.

_Would he still love me as he said he did?_

Regardless of the outcome, Kanda told himself, that he would finish what he started. He was a man who accepted full responsibility for his actions, who would bear the pain of his past wrongs, and take the punishment for his sins. And as Kanda told himself that it was entirely his fault this time, so he would accept whatever was in store for him in future.

Even if Tyki would never love him anymore.

That thought shook him greatly, and Kanda realized, that somewhere along the way, he had reciprocated the man's feelings too, but it only made him feel worse. He was flawed, imperfect, and in no way good enough for Tyki. He owed too much to the magician, and they were too different. They existed in two entirely different worlds, leading two separate lives, and the more Tyki's life crossed over with his, the more it just destroyed him, from the inside out.

He felt like crying, felt like screaming. He just felt so numb.

He wanted to stay by his side forever, and let Tyki give him all the pleasures he had promised him. He wanted to respond to those feelings with the same intensity as that piercing gaze that was only reserved for him. In short, he just wanted to lead a normal life, unbound and unshackled, by Tyki's side.

Kanda arrived at the square. His footsteps just seemed to echo in his ears as he inhaled deeply. Maybe it was a form of reassurance that he wasn't alone, but he moved his hand towards the sword on his waist and gripped it tightly while waiting.

And what exactly was he waiting for? Kanda knew he was waiting for Allen and his friend to show up, but the question was deeper than that. Was this going to be a wise choice? Would his future be better this way? Would Tyki's future be better this way?

"Psst, Kanda! Over here!"

He turned to look for the source of the sound and saw Allen waving to him from a corner. The white haired lad beckoned to him urgently.

"Sorry, I was late. Sneaking away from Cross proved harder than expected."

"Never mind that, moyashi. Where's your friend?"

Allen scratched his head. "He's waiting at the station already. Have you got everything?" He stared at the empty handed Kanda. "Where's your stuff?"

"I don't have anything, damn it." Kanda retorted. It was true, even the clothes he was wearing right now was all courtesy of the magician. Just thinking of stealing Tyki's possessions was pure poison to him.

"That's alright then. We'll get you some stuff once we're at the next city. That magician sounds worse than Cross." He muttered.

Kanda felt as though something squeezed his heart tightly. No, it wasn't that way, why did everyone misunderstand that fucking magician?

"Allen! Glad you could make it!" A voice hollered as they neared the station.

Allen made a shushing sound. "Damn, Lavi! Do you really want Cross to come after us?"

The red haired man shrugged. "Aww, come on, Allen. He won't be coming after us, I bet he's so drunk he probably wouldn't be waking up for a few hours. And…" He fixed his gaze upon Kanda and smiled. "Hey, so you were the extra baggage Allen was talking about, eh?"

A nerve throbbed in Kanda's temple. Lavi grinned and came over to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Lavi. Allen told me that you were planning to run away too, so I made reservations already. Come on, we have to hurry, the train will start soon. Wait… You don't have any luggage?"

Allen put in, "Nope, can we stop by the next city to grab him some stuff?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind. But we better hurry, the old man would get mad if I missed the train."

Kanda could barely hear what they were saying as he helped haul Allen's suitcase onto the train. "Hey, um, Allen, what's his name again?" Lavi called out.

"Kanda Yuu."

"Oi, Yuu-chan! Come on, we haven't got all day."

A whistle sounded and heavy white steam poured out of the funnel in front. The porters tossed the last of the bags into their compartments and passengers hurriedly searched for their seats. Lavi climbed up the side of the train, followed by Allen. Kanda still stayed on the platform, his feet rooted to the spot.

Allen turned around and looked at him. "Hey, Kanda, let's go! Once we're out of here, we're free."

"I'm staying."

The boy nearly fell off in shock. "What? Why?"

The train's horn blared loudly. Kanda raised his dark eyes slowly to meet Allen's. "I won't leave Tyki."

"Kanda, are you insane? We've come this far, you're not going to…"

"I will not betray his trust. I'm going back, I want to go back. Don't you try to fucking stop me."

Allen was about to say something else when he saw the determination and intensity in Kanda's eyes. It struck him that maybe there was something about Tyki that only Kanda saw. Maybe he wasn't as bad as rumored to be.

"Allen, I think we should let Yuu-chan make his own decisions. But I hope you'll be fine after this." Lavi said.

Nodding, Allen got onboard just as the train started moving. He turned and shouted back at Kanda. "We'll come back someday to see how you're doing, alright?"

Kanda nodded and turned to leave. "Take care of yourselves too." He muttered softly before breaking into a run.

* * *

He paused before the door and took a deep breath. But he decided to stay, and he had to tell Tyki about everything now that he made up his mind. To be honest, he didn't know what to say, or where to start. Still, Tyki deserved to know what was going on, so shakily, he pushed open the door and entered the dark house.

Wait, dark? It was mid-morning when he arrived, he had to finish one last errand before returning here, so why was it all dark? Tyki didn't have a performance today, did he? Why wasn't he at home?

Kanda felt a little uneasy, and immediately he was on his guard. His heart beat increased as he tried to calm down and move deeper into the house. Something was off, and he knew it.

He paused outside Tyki's room. From under the door he could see no light. But yet he swore he heard a faint sound from inside so against his better judgment he turned the knob and went in.

The room was dark and unlit, but Kanda could make out a silhouette of someone sitting in the armchair by the window. He squinted and then raised his eyebrows as he recognized the person.

Smiling, Tyki turned to face him. "Why, hello, Kanda, I see you're back from your little outing."

Kanda took a step towards Tyki and then stopped. He could detect the threatening tone in Tyki's voice and it sounded a little more dangerous than it should be. Moving his gaze towards the desk in front of Tyki, his sight fell onto the bottle of amber liquid and the empty glass beside it.

The older man made to stand up but stumbled and had to rest his hands on the table. His hair was let down and fell past his flushed face, and he was clad only in a loose white shirt and pants. The top buttons were undone and the shirt looked a mess. Kanda arched an eye brow as he walked over to the intoxicated man.

"You're drunk, sir. What the fuck were you thinking?"

Tyki coughed a little and stared at Kanda. He straightened up and took a few steps towards him slowly. "What the fuck was I thinking? How about you?"

Kanda swallowed a gulp as he marched over to Tyki and grabbed him by the arm. "Come on, sit down or something. I'll um… I'll get some water or…"

"Where did you go, Kanda?"

Kanda was silent for a while, and then he muttered. "I'll get you something to wake you up first."

The blow that came next was so sudden and unexpected, Kanda didn't even get the chance to dodge it. The force of the punch threw him off his feet and he crumpled against the wall. Tyki grabbed him by the collar roughly and pinned him to the wall. Still seeing stars, Kanda tried to blink the confusion from his eyes as he stared into those dangerous golden ones.

For a moment, Kanda froze, unable to comprehend Tyki's actions. Maybe it was because his head was still spinning from the blow, but Tyki's glare gripped his heart with fear.

He had to get out of there.

Throwing Tyki off with all the strength he could muster, Kanda scrambled to his feet and bolted towards the door in a desperate attempt to get away. But before he could reach it, another sharp blow caught him around the ribs and knocked him over again.

He heard something crack. Kanda yelled out in pain as he collapsed in a heap on the floor. The door was shut with a slam and locked, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Tyki toss away a heavy metal rod he had just used on him.

Kanda pushed himself up slowly as a few drops of blood fell onto the wooden floor. The effort proved too much for him and he fell down again, rolling on his side as he moaned in pain.

A sudden sound startled him and his dark eyes snapped open to see Tyki walking slowly towards him, one step at a time. A strange metallic clinking sound came from behind him and to Kanda's horror, the man had a long, deadly looking chain in his hand being dragged against the floor.

Shaking his head in defiance, some incomprehensible words escaped Kanda's lips as he tried to back away. With a scream, he pushed himself onto his feet and ran towards the door again, only to be tripped over by something hard and cold curled around his ankle.

Looking back, all he could see was those frightening chains wounded around his foot. Desperately, Kanda tugged at the unyielding links but within a second, Tyki yanked at the chain brutally and forced him against the floor once again.

The boy yelled as his head made contact with the cold, hard floor boards. He writhed and twisted but failed to throw the stronger body now straddling his hips. Thrashing wildly, his movements ceased as a hand fisted in his hair and cruelly yanked at it to get his attention.

Kanda stopped moving for a while to look at Tyki, who stared back at him smiling coldly. "It looks like you're still weak from your cold. Or was the sickness just a façade to throw me off guard, my pretty?"

"I… What are you… Talking about?" Kanda could barely hear his whispers coming from his dry lips.

"You know what I'm talking about, Kanda. You see, I've been watching you. Not that I didn't before, but I've been keeping tabs on you." His hand moved down Kanda's side slowly and into his pocket, pulling out the stack of notes kept in there.

"My, my, there's got to be a few hundred dollars here. Now what were you planning to do with so much money, my dear?"

He tightened his grip on Kanda's hair and the boy cried out from the pain. Leaning closer to him, so that only a hair's breadth separated them, Tyki whispered maliciously. "Why would you want to run away from me?"

"No… No, it's not… Sir, listen…"

He was slapped across the face and Kanda could feel his teeth cut into his cheek. He could taste more of that metallic tasting liquid in his mouth and he swallowed thickly. "What's that, Kanda? I can't hear you." Tyki whispered into his ear, his breath tickling the pale skin under his long black hair.

Kanda tried to take in another breath to explain himself. "I wasn't… It was not… It's not what you think…"

Another strike to his cheek cut him off and Kanda fell silent. His senses were over ridden with pain and slowly numbing him. This was worse than those nightmares he used to have.

Tyki reached for the loose end of the chain that wasn't wrapped around Kanda's ankle and toyed with it, letting it drag slowly against the floor board beside Kanda's face. Kanda winced as he heard the dangerous sound, and flinched away from it.

The older man removed his hand from his hair and slowly yet gently stroked his cheek. "Let me tell you something, Kanda…" He leaned over and whispered into his ear again.

"You belong to me, and you're not going anywhere."

Kanda's eyes flew open and he looked up at Tyki with pure terror in his eyes. He had never felt more afraid of anyone or anything in his life. The magician smirked as he moved his other hand to the boy's shirt and slowly unbuttoned the top button.

Immediately, the Japanese started struggling again. The hand paused in its action of removing the top button and then suddenly started to rip at the fabric roughly.

Kanda gave a cry as his coat was tugged off roughly and his shirt ripped open. He pushed himself out from under Tyki and tried to scramble backwards but Tyki still had his ankle chained and all he had to do was give it a sharp tug to stop Kanda's escape.

A stinging sensation pricked the corners of his eyes. "Fuck… Sir, wait… Stop… Listen to me… Please!" He shouted as he felt Tyki's leg connect with his stomach.

The pain spread like fire from his already wounded side as the kick landed. A tear rolled down the side of his face as he tried to shield himself with his hands, all his senses and instincts shutting down.

He was terrified. It didn't even seem like Tyki at all. He knew he could break anytime soon, but he did his best to hold on to the last bits of his sanity.

Tyki watched him cowering on the floor. Even in defeat, the boy was still trying his best to defy him, his long black hair spilling past his bruised shoulders as he threw up his shaking hands in defense. A natural response to an attack.

He grabbed him and kissed him roughly, forcing his tongue into Kanda's mouth. He could taste the traces of blood inside his hot cavern. Kanda let out a whimper as he pulled backwards but a sharp tug to his hair forced him to stay still. Tyki ended his ravishing of Kanda's mouth, biting down harshly on his lower lip and drawing some more blood.

Pushing him on the ground, he straddled him roughly as he unbuckled his belt. "Stop… Stop…" Kanda pleaded. His own hands wouldn't listen to him, they were just lying uselessly beside him, shaking in fear.

Tyki removed his belt and hoisted Kanda's hands above him. He pulled the leather strap tightly around the boy's wrists, tying them together so he couldn't fight back. All the time, Kanda shook his head wildly and cried out for Tyki to stop but the pleas just fell on to deaf ears.

"You're not getting away from me. Not this time, not ever. You're just going to be my slave, a whore I keep in my room, that I can use to satisfy my cravings, that I can toy with. You got that?"

The tears were falling from his eyes as Kanda shook his head stubbornly again. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Tyki promised him, didn't he?

'_Tell me, Kanda. Was there anyone back home who loved you?'_

At that time, he thought that at least there was someone here who did. '_Didn't you, Tyki? Did you truly love me? Am I really just a slave for you to use for your own benefits?'_

"_I want you to stay by my side, forever…"_

Kanda cried out as he felt his pants being pulled down roughly. "Stop… Stop… Stop!" He screamed. _'Did I really mean nothing to you, when you meant so much to me?'_

He felt his cock being grabbed and jerked roughly. The motion sent a sensation sprawling across his lower abdomen, mixed with pain. Kanda didn't even realize he was crying, practically begging for all this to stop, for Tyki to stop.

Roughly, he was forced to turn around and Tyki wrenched his right arm backwards to subdue him. Kanda gave a scream of pain as his arm felt like breaking. He could feel that hot breath down his back, nipping and biting roughly at his skin, not hesitating to leave as many marks as he could, only this time, it was different.

He remembered how he had loved the feel of that breath against his skin, how he had, no matter how much he would deny it later, enjoyed the feel of his teeth nipping lovingly at his neck and collarbone. Kanda recalled how gentle Tyki's touches had been, how he had first truly felt loved.

But it was different now, this was entirely different. There was no love in this.

"Stop… Ya… Yamete… Yamero!"

"You're wasting your time, dear. I'm not going to stop until I've punished you, and besides, I don't understand Japanese."

More tears fell from his lovely, dark eyes as he didn't realize he had reverted back to his original language in his attempt to make himself understood.

"Do you see, how much different we are? And I am always above you."

Kanda gave another cry of anguish as Tyki wringed his arm tighter. He knew there would be a dark bruise at where Tyki was gripping his arm cruelly. But his cry didn't stop the older man's ministrations, it just further fuelled his desire to just have his way with him.

'_Why, Tyki? Why? Damn it, Tyki, just stop and listen to me!'_

Yet all he wanted to say, it just seemed to vanish as he tried to utter his stammering reasons. He didn't know where to start anymore, and he didn't fell as if this Tyki would listen to him anyway.

Tyki bit into his shoulder roughly, his right hand still subduing Kanda, while his left hand dragged cruel, red lines across the boy's chest with his fingernails. "Are you trying to say something, Kanda? Do you want me to be more gentle?"

Kanda gave a feeble nod, and then shook his head which looked more like an odd jerk instead. The older man hissed into his ear.

"Do you remember the first night you were here? What did I tell you, hmm?"

Kanda's eyes, which were closed to try and shut out the terrifying images taking place before him, now opened slowly. Then they snapped wide open as he remembered with a jolt, the first warning Tyki threatened him with.

"_I don't believe I said you had a choice in this, did I, boy? You are my slave, and you better be thankful that I'm offering you a position close to that of any free man. You had better listen to me, or else..."_

With that, all Kanda's spirit left him, and whatever was left of him that wished to fight back failed him. His shoulders slumped and gave way to immense shaking, trembling beneath those sensual touches leaving marks all over his body.

He hated him. From the very beginning, Tyki hated him. He was never being given a choice, he was never offered hope, it was all an illusion. Kanda felt himself breaking as he lost the last bit of hope he ever had for the possibility of them ever being together. He was such a fool, did he actually think, for a single moment, that Tyki Mikk would ever truly love him?

"I see you've remembered. Bear that in mind now, I wouldn't want to have to remind you again."

Tyki released his hand and Kanda dropped to all fours against the ground, shaking terribly. The magician narrowed his eyes as he positioned himself behind the younger teen, gripping his hips tightly.

"Never forget, you're mine." With the last word uttered fiercely, Tyki slammed into Kanda roughly, the younger man's jaws falling open as he gasped in pain. Without waiting for him to adjust himself, Tyki pulled out and slammed in again, fiercely hammering home his warning.

It hurt, the pain was so intense, Kanda thought he was going to die. As Tyki pulled back and then slammed in deeper, each time Kanda's gasps became harsher and slowly melted into whimpers and cries of pain. He could feel blood trickling down between his legs and he felt like he was going to be torn apart anytime now.

'_Stop… stop…'_

His fingers raked the ground, stained with blood as he coughed more of the red liquid out from his inner wounds. He arched his back each time Tyki pounded in, as Tyki's thrusts became harder and faster, his cries became louder and louder, echoing off the walls.

Tyki gripped Kanda's hips as he knew he was nearing his release. He groaned deeply as he buried himself in for the last time, staining Kanda with his orgasm.

When Tyki had first entered him, Kanda's mind was already going blank. But even though he was in such a numbing state, his lips parted as he cried out to Tyki for one last time.

"Tyki, please stop!"

Tyki gave a harsh cry as he came inside of Kanda, but he heard the plea at the same time too. It seemed to hang in the air, ringing in his eyes over and over again.

Kanda's eyes slid out of focus as the room blacked out before him. He felt Tyki release his grip on him and he slumped onto the floor, panting heavily and still shaking, with his eyes half closed.

He just lay there unmoving, the thuds of Tyki's footsteps as he walked away from him vibrating in his ears. The tears still poured from his eyes as he stared after the man who made his way towards the door.

As Tyki left, the last few tears flowed down Kanda's face as he felt himself breaking. He could only watch Tyki's back disappear behind the closed door.

He didn't want to wake up from this nightmare. If he did, he was certain that more would be waiting for him.

* * *

So the story seems to have taken a rather dark and shocking turn. But really, my headcanon Tykan was never sweet and fluffy, because that's not what the two of them are, no matter how much I want them to be.

Relationships aren't easy, and when distrust creeps in, it makes things a lot worse. Especially when one of them involved is a dude with insecurity issues and difficulty in expressing himself, while the other is a proud esteemed individual who takes pleasure from the fact that he can choose, and has a dark side to boot.

But really, this story might not take as dark a turn as it seems it would.


	11. Chapter 11 Give or Take

This chapter ought to be somewhat angsty, I figured. So prepare for um, tears? No, there's not much plot in this one I think, because it's more of a rant of feelings. Not sure what kind of warning to put, but ah well, what would you expect after the last chapter?

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, and do not wish to. Drawing such intricate detail would only kill me faster.

* * *

**Chapter 11 – Give or Take**

The hangover hit him worse than a sledgehammer to the head. The second he opened his eyes a headache throbbed in his temples and he had to sit up for a while before his balance and senses would come back to him. The early rays of sun flitting through the blinds weren't helping as well. He smelt of cigarettes and wine, so obviously he had been smoking again. What had driven him to such an extent? That he would be up all night drinking and smoking? Tyki sighed as he leaned his aching head against the couch he was resting on.

Hang on, couch? Shouldn't he be in his room? Wasn't he in his room the previous night before, drinking his worries away as he waited for Kanda's return…

Tyki's eyes flew open in shock. Kanda. Oh gods, what did he do? It was all coming back to him now. Tyki sank back into the couch and breathed in deeply, trying to calm his nerves. Damn it all, what did he go and do now? Sure, he was jealous and angry, but that still wasn't reason enough to take it all out on… Tyki slapped his forehead, and gained an extra pain to his head for his efforts.

Calm down, he told himself. What would be the best thing to do right now?

Right now, he needed to see Kanda. He needed to explain everything to him, to try and repair the damage he had done. He hoisted himself out of the couch with much effort and started towards his room. In his mind, the words he wanted to say were just swimming around in a sea of thoughts, and he wasn't sure he had the courage to even talk to Kanda.

As he reached his room, Tyki reached for the doorknob but paused. His thoughts were muddled right now. What if Kanda didn't want to see him? Was the trauma too much for him? His fingers shook as he knew the boy would probably already hate him for what he did. Any excuse he wanted to give just seemed illogical and Tyki knew it would take more than a miracle, a lot more, before things would be alright again.

Still, even though he was scared of what he may find inside, Tyki had to salvage this disaster. Whatever was waiting for him behind this door was his doing, and his responsibility.

Damn it, what if Kanda was way past broken, and tried to hurt himself in any way?

To hell with his worries, Tyki pushed open the door hurriedly and stepped inside the gloomy darkness. Despite knowing exactly what he did and said to the boy last night, the thought of Kanda hurting himself even further made his heart ache.

'_Fuck it all, Tyki. Why the heck did you go and do such a disgusting thing to the boy?'_

And to think he had enjoyed inflicting pain on Kanda, he loved the sounds of his servant crying out in anguish and begging him to stop. It made him sick to the stomach, and disgusted at himself.

It was too late for regrets, only room for some hope for remedies.

At a corner by the wall, he could see the crouched figure of Kanda, hugging his knees, his face hidden behind his disheveled hair. Tyki felt a slight relief to see him all in one piece, at least, and approached him slowly, hoping that the worst had not happened. With every step he took, his mind was frantically throwing up random things to say, but whether he should comfort him or soothe him, apologize to him or pretend nothing had happened, Tyki was unsure even as he knelt down gently in front of him.

"Kanda?" He muttered in a tone barely above a whisper.

Immediately the boy jerked to life and his dark eyes looked straight into Tyki's own. What Tyki saw in them completely blew away, if any, thoughts of coming up with excuses for what he did. At that very moment their eyes locked, Tyki would give anything to turn back time and stop this from ever happening, even if it meant being condemned to the darkest pits of hell for an eternity.

Kanda stared uncertainly, as if not able to recognize the man in front of him, causing Tyki to worry whether his mind was already damaged beyond repair. He couldn't help releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding when he noticed a shadow of recognition flit across those dark eyes.

'_He knows who I am. That's a good sign. Or maybe not.'_

He braced himself. He was prepared for anything Kanda was about to throw at him, scream at him, hit him, or anything else. He just wanted Kanda to do something to blame him.

Tyki wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Kanda dropped his gaze and reached a shaky hand into his pocket. It seemed that he recovered his pants but remained shirtless. Tyki was hoping that he didn't catch a cold when Kanda spoke.

"Here… Your… Your money… Sir."

Something was pressed into his palm and Tyki raised his eyebrows at the sight of the crumpled notes. Kanda took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I didn't… Take anything… Keep any… For myself… I-I meant to… To return it to you sooner but… I couldn't earn it back fast enough…"

Tyki's eyes widened as he realized what Kanda was referring to. It all started to make sense now, all the suspicious behavior, the secret outings, Kanda had just been too afraid to admit that he had lost the money, or either he was to proud to do so. And Tyki had, in a fit of rage and jealousy, punished him for nothing.

The boy rocked forward and backwards again, holding his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he started to sob again. "I wasn't… I wasn't going to run away… I wasn't!"

The last one had been a shout, and he dared not look up at Tyki. The statement confused the magician for a moment, then it sank in and he realized that Kanda was trying to explain himself.

God damn it, Kanda thought he was to blame, and was afraid of anymore punishment from him.

Tyki reached forward and grabbed him by the shoulders. Kanda gave a soft yelp of fear and leaned away from him, shaking his head and trying to push him off.

"Kanda, listen to me. Kanda, it wasn't your fault!"

The Japanese shook his head even more. "I won't do it… I won't do it again, I promise! Just… Don't punish me, don't!"

Tyki's grip on Kanda's shoulders tightened. "Listen to me, Kanda, listen! It's not your fault, you did nothing wrong!"

He wasn't doing it right, things weren't going well this way. Tyki felt exasperated as he tried to get his own words out.

"Kanda! Look, just… Look at me!"

Maybe it was the tone of his voice, or the command of authority in it but his order was obeyed, and Kanda look shakily at him. Tyki sighed in relief and cupped his face gently.

"You didn't do anything wrong, do you understand? I was wrong to… Punish you for nothing."

"I… I didn't…?"

"No, you didn't."

"I was not…?"

"No, you were not wrong."

Kanda dropped his gaze and then looked up again, but this time with less uncertainty. "Tyki?"

Tyki smiled and stroked his face lovingly. "Yes, it's me. I'm not going to hurt you again, I promise."

The boy leaned slowly towards him and rested his head against his neck. Tyki wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace, his heart pounding in his chest. Thank goodness, it would seem as if the healing process would be quicker than he expected.

He ran his hand through Kanda's hair, stroking him gently to try and calm him down, for he could feel his heart beating rapidly as well. The teen was still trembling slightly, even in his embrace, as if taking shelter underneath an unstable refuge. Kanda took in another shaky breath and whispered against his neck.

"If I be good, you won't hurt me anymore, right?"

Tyki stopped stroking, his heartbeat increasing slightly. "I told you, I won't hurt you again, Kanda."

"I'm still a toy to you, am I?"

Tyki froze entirely, as he felt something warm and wet trickle down his neck. Kanda was crying again. His fingers gripped Tyki's shirt tightly as he sobbed quietly.

'_My words hurt him more than I imagined. Fuck it, Tyki. Were you such a bastard when you first met Kanda?'_

It was true, Kanda had changed him. He had fallen in love with the stoic, stubborn and fiery-tempered servant of his, and he had tried to gain reciprocation from Kanda as well. But did he try and demand too much in too short a time?

"You're… Not a toy, Kanda."

"As long as I behave, I won't get punished, right?"

"You're not a toy, Kanda!" A tear fell from his golden eyes as he hugged Kanda tightly. He would give anything to heal Kanda, anything.

'_Not like this, please, don't make it like this…'_

"Kanda?" He asked desperately. "We need to get you fixed up, ok? Can you stand?"

Kanda gave some kind of a jerk that Tyki couldn't tell from a nod or shake so he just tried to help the boy to his feet. When he realized Kanda was leaning on him badly, Tyki abandoned the attempt and just carried him. Kanda leaned his head wearily against his chest and closed his eyes.

He only opened them when they reached the bathroom and Tyki set him down slowly into the tub. "Can you take off your clothes? Or should I help you with them?"

Then only he noticed that Kanda was still holding on to his sleeves tightly, so he leaned over and moved his hand towards Kanda's pants. The boy whimpered slightly as he was divested of his remaining article of clothing but did nothing, not even releasing his grip on Tyki's sleeves.

The magician used a wet towel to clean any traces of blood on his body. He felt a pang of guilt every time he saw a bruise or wound. When he reached Kanda's chest area, the boy gasped out in pain.

Tyki then remembered that his ribs were broken. "We need to get that checked immediately, Kanda."

* * *

"It's best if he rested for a while, and not do any work. Just don't touch those ribs; he'll be fine in a matter of time."

Tyki nodded as he sent the doctor off. "Thank you, I'll make sure he heals completely."

The doctor put on his hat and paused at the door. "The boy's been through a lot of trauma, I'm not too sure of the details, but it's best not to let him out of your sight for a while. The last thing we need is for him to hurt himself any further."

Tyki's fingers tightened on the doorknob, his knuckles turning white. "Yes, I'll bear that in mind. Good day to you, doctor."

Closing the door behind him, Tyki hurried towards where Kanda was resting. Good, it seems that he had finally fallen asleep. Tyki moved swiftly to his bedside and sat down beside his resting form, pulling the covers over him slowly. He moved his hand to caress Kanda's face gently, but stopped in mid-act.

Was it alright to act this way towards him, as if nothing had happened between them? Now, just the simple act of touching him already brought doubts to Tyki's mind. Tyki withdrew his fingers into a ball and contented himself with the sight of Kanda sleeping peacefully. For now, he figured it would be best to give the boy some space.

Yet peaceful was not what you could call him now, there was still some kind of heavy burden hanging over him, visible through the way his muscles had refused to relax even in his sleep, and the way his eyebrows kept furrowing every now and then. And even Tyki could make out the way he clutched at the covers tightly, like a shield between him and the outer world.

Part of Tyki just wanted to throw himself on the teen and beg for his forgiveness, but another part of him retained his pride and arrogance, but that part also wanted things to be alright again.

"I wonder, if you could hear me, Kanda."

Those words were out before he could stop himself. For some reason, he wanted to tell Kanda something, something that had been nagging at the back of his mind for a long time since he met him. He had told him the words already, but he wasn't sure whether they had the same meaning as they meant to him now. And he wasn't sure if Kanda would reciprocate.

Tyki swallowed, and then leaned over slightly, his hand shifted closer to Kanda's side. He opened his mouth to say something but a sudden movement from Kanda stopped him.

Kanda curled up slightly, his head coming to rest just beside Tyki's arm, his mouth barely forming words but audible enough to be heard in the quiet room.

"Gomenasai…"

Wishing he was more fluent in his assistant's native tongue, Tyki leaned so close that his hair fell just centimeters from Kanda's face. "Yes, Kanda?"

"Can you love me again?"

Tyki inhaled sharply, and brought a trembling hand to wipe away the tears that started trickling down the boy's face again.

He was still blaming himself. Tyki had destroyed his confidence and now Kanda was blaming himself for everything that happened. Typical of the lad, he always was shouldering responsibilities on his own, refusing to let anyone help him with his burdens and willing to take the blow for any falls.

Tyki brought his head closer to Kanda and leaned their foreheads together. Warm tears were flowing down his eyes as well. Since when had he cried, for anything at all?

"Why, Kanda? Just fucking blame me, will you?"

No answer. He was still asleep after all, trying to gain some solace in a world of dreams, unaware that someone was trying to reach him from the outside.

"I… Still love you, Kanda. I still do… I still do."

How could he say that? Did he even deserve the right to say that he loved this boy, after all that he did, out of sheer jealousy and spite?

He wanted Kanda to forgive him, but he couldn't bring himself to say it on his own. So the second best option was to have Kanda hate him, that way he wouldn't feel so guilty about it.

If only Kanda would hate him, it would be enough punishment for him.

But Kanda wouldn't. He didn't. At least, not at the moment.

* * *

Where the heck was he? He couldn't tell. Somewhere, he could feel someone, or something reach out and touch him, to try and pull him back to reality, but he just hid further, and shrank back into the shadows.

After the nightmare the previous night, he had shut off everything from the outside world, and locked his entire being into a place where he knew he would not be able to feel anything from the outside, and he knew he definitely would not get hurt in here. It wasn't exactly the best defense, but at least he wouldn't need to feel any pain inflicted on him again, if any.

Yet, traces of his scared and confused emotions leaked out, and he was pretty sure someone on the outside was on the receiving end of it. And that person was worried about him.

Why? Was he afraid to open his eyes and fully grasp the situation? Was he afraid to see Tyki again?

If so, why did he open his eyes now?

Kanda blinked a couple of times before he allowed the view of the ceiling to register in his mind. He was lying on a bed, his wounds felt as though they've been bandaged and treated. Turning his head slowly, his sight rested on the mass of brown curls by his side.

He gazed at Tyki's sleeping form for a while, observing the man in his sleep. He knew it was him, the one who had been trying to reach out to him for the past few hours, when he had shut himself off from the rest of the world.

Kanda moved his left hand, over to Tyki so he could touch him and comfort him. He would never blame the man for this; he could not bring himself to hate the guy either. He would only hate himself for it and maybe not trust him anymore but he couldn't hate him.

Truth be told, he honestly still wanted Tyki to love him again.

Just like he did before, just like how he was before all this happened, just as how he took him in and trapped him in a world Kanda had never expected to be part of, or wished to be.

But he told himself, that it would never come true, and he was foolish to have thought that way.

They were from different worlds, undeniably so. Everything he was now, Tyki had bestowed on him. Who was he to ask for more?

He didn't give a damn, really. He didn't care if Tyki would really use him as a toy from now on, the man took good care of his possessions, and to belong to him was enough already.

His hand paused just above Tyki's head. If he touched him, it would mean that he had accept everything as it was, and forgiven him.

Had he? Had he truly forgiven Tyki?

Kanda turned and pulled away, getting off the bed. Tyki was so tired that he didn't even stir from his position, his head resting on his arms on the covers. Good, he didn't want to talk to him just yet.

Besides, how could you forgive someone who didn't even ask for it?

Crossing over to the door, Kanda turned the knob and stepped out. He wouldn't scold Tyki, he decided. He was in no place to do so. He wouldn't hate him either, but it didn't mean he had to forgive him so soon.

He didn't look back.

* * *

When Tyki woke up, Kanda was not in bed any longer. He panicked and dashed out of the room, hoping that Kanda didn't decide to do something drastic.

After calling Kanda's name countless times and checking nearly every room in the house, Tyki found Kanda backstage.

"Kanda, what are you doing?"

The assistant gave one last haul at the crate he was moving and straightened up. He turned to face Tyki, but to the magician's dismay, he neglected eye contact.

"Working."

Tyki felt slightly annoyed. "Are you out of your mind? You are in no condition to work. You need to rest, hear me?"

There was an awkward pause before Kanda shrugged and nodded.

"Yes… Sir."

Somehow the tone Kanda used reminded Tyki strongly of their first meeting. Back then they hadn't been so close yet, they hadn't gotten used to each other, and hadn't felt so strongly for each other.

Closing his eyes, Tyki recalled how he used to worry so much for Kanda, and how he wanted to keep the boy by his side forever. That desire was bordering on obsessive possession, and perhaps it was that very desire that drove him to force Kanda into a desperate situation.

The conclusion was, he was exactly what Kanda had feared and despised from the very beginning. He was part of those monsters, the ones that destroyed the Japanese's home and enslaved his kind, forced them to serve the upper class and stripped them of their freedom.

After all he had done to prove that he wasn't like that, one act had told Kanda clearly that he was, and perhaps forever will be, the kind of monster that was dangerous to be with.

"Kanda, why don't you blame me?"

The question lingered in the air, as the silence between them grew awkward. Tyki opened his golden eyes and looked at his assistant with the same questioning gaze.

"Kanda, why can't you just blame me for it? Hate me, hit me, yell at me, anything would be better than this."

"Why should I?"

His hands curled into fists and Tyki gripped them tightly as he tried to answer the question.

"Why shouldn't you? After what I did…"

"I have no right to take revenge on you… Sir."

The last word was implied with pure poison. Kanda turned away until his back was facing Tyki.

"We're different, and I'm always below you. Therefore, I can't raise a finger against you."

His own words, used against Kanda last night, now used against himself today.

"_Do you see, how much different we are? And I am always above you."_

He noticed Kanda grip his shoulders tightly, hugging himself as he shook, with anger or fear, Tyki couldn't tell. He thought he heard a small sob but any traces of it were non-existent in his assistant's voice.

"I… I won't forget. I belong to you, I'm… Yours."

"_You belong to me, and you're not going anywhere."_

"_Never forget, you're mine."_

"Besides," Kanda let out a small derisive chuckle. "I won't be going anywhere. I want to stay. I want to be by your side, forever. Even if you never loved me."

Before he could stop him, Kanda left the room, leaving Tyki to dwell on the things he had just said to him. That was Kanda's decision. The stubborn fool, he believed he had no choice in everything, and the only way that he could somehow choose for himself, was by choosing to stay, even if it meant staying with a man who would only serve to further hurt him.

Tyki bit his lower lip as he knew what pain the younger man was going through. His shoulders were heavy under the weight of this new understanding, because he finally realised that one of them would have to give.

As long as Kanda was still enslaved, he would never forgive him.

* * *

A couple more chapters to go before we're done. You can start guessing the ending if you want, I won't give spoilers. And again, really sorry for the last chapter if I hurt anyone's feelings. But that's my style and I'm sorry it ain't fluff.

Oh yeah, to one of my reviewers, **lellitoe**, I'm gonna reply to you in Malay, if that's ok.

Ya, saya memang ada Facebook, e-mel saya boleh didapati pada profailku di . Namun, akaun Facebook saya tidak didaftarkan dengan e-mel tersebut, oleh itu, jika kamu benar-benar ingin hubungi saya melalui Facebook, bolehkah kamu munghubungi saya melalui e-melku dahulu? Kerana tidak membenarkan sebarang maklumat peribadi dipaparkan melalui "review" atau PM. Oleh itu, maklumat tentang e-mel kamu yang diselitkan dalam review kamu telahpun dipadamkan.

Maaf ya, itu peraturan yang ditetapkan, jadi, satu-satunya cara untuk menghubungi saya jika kamu tiada akaun ialah melalui e-melku yang boleh didapat daripada profail saya. Terima kasih banyak-banyak! Dan maaf jika BM saya sudah merosot… Sudah hampir 3 minggu saya tidak menggunakan BM untuk berbual-bual…

Right, so that's it! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Please review, and tell me what you think of it. I still accept criticism, it's part of being a writer, but mind you, I couldn't sleep for nights after receiving some flames before. Sometimes words linger more and they hurt deeply, much more than you expect. If you really can't guess the ending, don't worry, just review and tell me what kind of ending you want. I can't guarantee I'll do it for you though.


	12. Chapter 12 Selfish Love

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, I do not own Kanda, and I do not own hot and sexy Tyki Mikk.

* * *

**Chapter 12 – Selfish Love**

"Father invited Elizabeth over for tea again."

Tyki's cigarette fell out from between his fingers. "I thought we were here for a family event?"

"Tyki! Watch it! If you burn the grass you're paying the gardener extra!" Road snapped and resumed pulling buttons off a doll in her hands. "Father thought that since she was going to be part of our family soon, we ought to do more socializing of sorts."

"Part of our family? He has got to be joking…" Tyki muttered and picked up the cigarette gingerly. His eyes returned to staring at the long-haired assistant of his leaning against the wall not far away with his eyes closed. His arms were folded and his shoulders were tensed up, a tinge of annoyance showing on his brows as the twins took it in turns to poke him repeatedly with sticks. From where he was, Tyki could already notice the obvious weariness in his appearance and it pained him to know that Kanda hadn't been sleeping well ever since… That night.

They were at the Noah Manor again, Cyril having invited his dear brother over for a casual family get-together. Tyki figured that Kanda needed some fresh air and a little outing with other people would help the teen get past the trauma easier than if he had been forced to stay home and interact with only the guy who violated him. Halfway through, Cyril disappeared, saying he had some business to attend to, and had left Tyki, Road, Devit, Jasdero and Kanda at the manor together. Lulubell hadn't bothered attending. Now Tyki knew where exactly his brother had disappeared to. He wished he never knew.

"Did something happen between you and that Kanda?" His niece asked interestedly out of nowhere. She finished with the buttons and was trying to pull the doll's eye off.

The cigarette dropped again and Road wrenched her toy away from it as it rolled towards her. "Hey! I said be careful!"

"Sorry, nothing. Just a little… Distracted." Tyki muttered as he reached for the cigarette again. Road frowned.

"You know you've been staring at _him_ since we got here right?" Road glanced over at Kanda. "Are you jealous that the twins have been touching him non-stop?"

Tyki's eye twitched a little. "No, but I think I should tell them to stop. Kanda looks as if he could murder someone soon." He stuck the cigarette back between his lips and marched over to them, glad for the excuse to stop the interrogation by Road.

"Hands off my assistant, both of you." Both twins looked up at Tyki but Kanda merely turned his head the other way.

"Well, since you're not interested in molesting him, we would." Devit pointed out. Jasdero giggled and resumed his poking. They were too busy laughing to notice a sudden change in the atmosphere. Road however, appeared beside Tyki's elbow and tugged at his sleeve.

"Tyki-pon~ I think Elizabeth's here. Can I play dress-up with Kanda while you're dating?"

"Huh, what?' The man turned around in a hurry to see it for himself. Damn, she really did come, and why wasn't he surprised to see his own brother ushering her in? He didn't have time to entertain women now!

"Great, that's a yes then! You two, want to dress up?"

The twins gave each other a quick and uneasy glance. "Jasdero, you forgot to feed the cat. Let's go do it now." Devit mumbled randomly.

"Huh, me? I thought we didn't have a cat?" While he was still puzzled, Devit began dragging Jasdero away. "We have a cat to feed! No time for dress up!" He shouted amidst confused questions from Jasdero. Road shrugged and glanced at Kanda, who was observing the entire affair with disdain. Tyki groaned as Cyril waved for him to go over. He tapped Road on the shoulder.

"Road, take care of Kanda for me, will you? I have a guest to entertain."

"Che, I can take care of myself perfectly well. Fucking womanizer." Kanda muttered quietly. Tyki cast one last concerned glance towards him before he started off to meet Elizabeth. Road tugged at Kanda's sleeve.

"So, just you and me? Not bad, I think I have just the dress for you."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

* * *

The light chatter and voices found their way into the bedroom adorned with lace and ribbons. Kanda leaned by the window and from his position he could make out the silhouettes of Tyki, his brother and his guest having tea in the garden. Every note of laughter that floated in seemed to linger longer in the air than it supposed to, and an odd feeling would rise inside of him. The more he stared after that silhouette, the more painful that feeling got, but Kanda felt that if he stopped looking, he would be missing out on something. It was as if he relished this painful feeling, as if he wanted to give himself more pain, or even addicted to it. Was he losing his mind?

'_Just forget about your feelings, idiot. Just pretend that he's your master, and only that. Just tell yourself that all he's ever capable of is abuse, and that he never cared about you in the first place.'_

Was that right though? Had Tyki only been capable of abuse and inflicting pain?

Ever since that night, it was as if they had gone back to the beginning, when they had first met, first stared each other down, and first formed a bond. Back to the time, before he had felt this strange thing Tyki called love. Back then, he could pretend he didn't care less about this man, he could tell himself he hated his master so much.

So why was it, that after what the man did, after they seemed to return to being just master and servant, that he still couldn't hate the man?

Kanda clenched his fist and squinted his eyes as he heard a woman laughing outside, while that familiar voice chuckled in the background. Curse it all, he tried his best to sever all bonds in order to make his trauma less painful but it was as if an invisible chain was still linking the both of them together.

"Are you wondering whether Tyki is going to get married?"

The question made him turn away from the window finally. "Do you think I care?" Kanda muttered.

Road had her back to him, putting out a few dresses on her bed as she contemplated which one was the best. With her arms folded, she cocked her head to one side observing the dresses as she talked.

"As a matter of fact, I know you do. But Tyki won't ditch you, he's too fond of you."

That fearsome feeling gripped his heart tightly again as he gritted his next few words out. "Yeah, I know, he'll keep me as his plaything. Do you fucking think I wouldn't know about that?"

There was a pause. Then Road sighed. "And wouldn't you love to be his toy."

Kanda did a double take. "The heck? Who would?" His insides were writhing and churning at the statement.

"You want to stay with him, don't you? You want to be by his side, if not to keep him for yourself, to make sure that the mere sight of you would remind him of his deeds. Isn't that so?"

Kanda swallowed and took a deep breath. No, that wasn't why he was getting so worked up about this. The dreadful feeling was rearing up like a monster poised to strike. When he finally spoke, it was with a rather shaken tone.

"And why would I want to do that?"

Road shrugged, her back still facing Kanda. "I don't know. Love can be selfish sometimes, right?"

It was hard to control whatever he was feeling right now. Anger, jealousy, hatred or sorrow, he nearly shouted. "You don't know anything about love!"

He was breathing heavily and shaking with emotion, and that horrible feeling was threatening to split his heart into two. Damn it, why was he reacting so badly?

"Oh, so you're admitting the love part?" Road asked interestedly but Kanda seemed not to hear as he ranted on.

"You don't know… You don't know how it's like. To have someone actually care if you're alive or not, to have someone hold you when you're an outcast, to know that you're not alone, even in a world where you don't belong! You know nothing about it!"

'_You don't know how it feels to have it all taken away from you… All done by the same person who loved you… And you had learned to love…'_

Even as he said those words, his own conscience was nagging at him. He could almost hear that deep voice whispering gently to him, feel that warm touch caressing his features lovingly and see those lips turned up in a gentle smile just for him. He could swear that he was standing in that dark room on his first night, still tied up, and feel those hands undo the tight bonds, giving him a small taste of freedom and the promise of a future. All merely shattered fragments of past memories now.

Kanda reached up to brush some of his hair out from his eyes and realised they were slightly wet. He looked up to find Road's head turned and smiling at him. Annoyed by her expression, Kanda dropped his gaze.

"Heck, it's all gone though. It never lasts, I should've known."

To his utmost annoyance, Road started laughing gleefully. She was doubled over and clutching her stomach, falling on the floor and kicking her legs as she giggled. Kanda snapped irritably.

"And what the heck's so funny?"

Road didn't answer straightaway, she just kept laughing. Kanda was half afraid that her voice would carry out to the gardens and the twins may even come in to see what the matter was.

"You… You're the funniest guy I've ever seen! It's so easy to get on your nerves!"

Kanda cocked an eyebrow. "I don't do funny."

Road leaned her head against the bed as she gasped for breath. "I never understood why Tyki liked you so much."

She directed a smile at Kanda, the latter trying to make out whether the smile was more cynical or understanding. "He was the odd one from our family, and was always trying different things. We are special, all of us, a class above others, better than so many other people in the high-class society. There was no reason to reject this status. But nothing has ever made him go against us Noahs this badly before."

Reaching out and grabbing a dress, she pulled it off the bed while continuing. "Father blamed it on his magic tricks, saying he was too carefree about the way he saw life, that he needed to settle down, or whatever that means. Hence, this arranged engagement."

Kanda narrowed his eyes. He really couldn't see where this conversation was going to and just about only caught the dress flung at him.

"But I don't think it's the magic. I like Tyki's magic show, anyway. I figured it was more of a someone than a something."

Only now did Kanda realise she was eyeing him. He felt a little uncomfortable; he never liked people staring at him to begin with, especially one who was viewing him as a little child would view a piece of adorable candy. Standing there with a lacy dress in his hands didn't help at all.

"I don't think Tyki ever wanted anything as badly as you."

Strangely enough, hearing that statement seemed to change the weird feeling in him. Now it seemed to be more of a whirlpool swirling uncomfortably within him. He gripped the fabric tightly. "He's not… He's got everything, he doesn't want me. I'm just a freeloading assistant."

Road shook her head and glanced nonchalantly at the wall clock. "Great, we don't have much time left for dress-up! So get changed now!"

Kanda gaped at her, the sudden change in attitude catching him off guard. "Hell no. Don't change the subject like that. And you want me to wear _this_?"

"Duh, why else are you here playing dress-up with me?"

"No. No way in hell will I do it!"

"Are you embarrassed to strip? I'll just help you with that then."

"Damn it! Get off me!"

"Just put it on! Or I'll ask the twins to help me strip you!"

"Fuck it! Where the hell did you learn all these sick and perverted things?"

Amidst the scuffling and arguing, they didn't notice the door open and their company was joined by the presence of another, much more amused person.

"Road, what are you doing to my assistant?"

Tyki cocked an amused eyebrow at the scuffling pair on the floor. Embarrassed, Kanda pushed Road off and chucked the dress at her while trying to straighten his clothes. Road was still giggling as she jumped up and ran over to Tyki, who gave a small cough as he tried not to notice the dress Kanda had just returned to Road.

"You want to see him in a dress, don't you, Tyki?"

"Uh, no. And we're headed home now, because we have a show to prepare for. See you some other day." He ruffled her hair somewhat fondly.

"But I'll be bored! And what about your date?"

"Let's just say, business is more important. We really have to make a move now, Kanda."

To Kanda's surprise, Tyki grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him off. Road stared after them as she shouted at Tyki.

"It's a Sunday, you don't _have_ performances!"

He was finding an excuse to leave, Kanda knew. He kept his gaze fixed on his wrist, where Tyki was holding tightly. Both of them walking together this way, him being dragged along like this, it was almost as if they were lovers. He was about to open his mouth to retort but decided against it. Tyki however, seemed to notice his assistant's silence. He let go immediately.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Was all Tyki said as he hailed a cab.

* * *

'_What do you want to do now, Tyki? What are you going to do?'_

'_To be honest, I don't know.'_

It was late at night, and the house was quiet with slumber. He seemed to be having a battle with his conscience. Lying there on his bed with his eyes closed and fingers laced together behind his head, Tyki couldn't keep Kanda out of his mind. The rain that started a few moments ago poured outside, stirring up a soothing lullaby amidst the dark night. But even the sound of the heavy rain couldn't calm Tyki's spirit right now.

Was it guilt? Most probably, yes. Remorse was all he could feel just about now, but even if he was seeking repentance he wasn't sure if Kanda would give him the chance to. Maybe he could have a talk with the boy. Damn, what was he, negotiating for forgiveness?

A loud clap of thunder preceded by a flash of lightning interrupted his thoughts and Tyki's eyes flew open. There was only one thought that the sound brought to his mind in place of the scattered ones.

Kanda.

Jumping out of bed, Tyki wrenched open his door and ran down the corridor leading to Kanda's room. Gods, was Kanda afraid of thunder? Tyki blamed himself for never noticing. So he was dashing to see if the boy was alright. Or maybe he was giving himself an excuse to see Kanda.

If Kanda had developed a phobia of Tyki now, Tyki too, had grown afraid of his very own actions, especially if it concerned Kanda. But he wanted to end it, he desperately wanted to spend time with Kanda like they did last time, their own private time together, where they were afraid of nothing in the world that could possibly tear them apart, and most importantly, not afraid of one another.

Bursting into the smaller room, Tyki stood in the doorway and his eyes found the object of his search. The smaller figure was curled up on his bed, knees hugged to his chin and wrapped in his blanket. Insomnia was becoming a serious problem for his assistant, Tyki knew that. Their eyes found each other and remained locked for a few seconds before Kanda made to get out of bed.

"Did you call for me? I… I didn't hear it, the fucking rain was too loud."

Without another moment's hesitation, Tyki crossed over and had Kanda pulled into a tight embrace. The startled boy gasped. "What… What the heck? What do you want this time?"

"Shh… It's alright. I'm here. There's nothing to be afraid of."

There was a rather awkward pause before Kanda asked uncertainly. "You mean the thunder? Heck, do you think I'll be afraid?"

Tyki hesitated before muttering softly. "Well, if you're not, then let me be the one afraid of it. So, can you stay with this coward tonight?"

On normal days, he would have never admitted himself as a coward. He just wanted a reason to be able to hold the boy like this, Tyki figured. Even if it meant lying and putting down his pride just for a little while, he wanted to hold Kanda like this and never let go. Trembling fingers found their way onto his back and gripped his shirt tightly as Kanda spoke.

"If… That's what you want… Sir… I have no choice but to obey."

Before he knew it, the Japanese felt a firm yet surprisingly gentle arm slip under his legs and lift him up without much difficulty. Kanda gasped again as he clutched onto Tyki's neck for support. The man made his way to the head of the bed and settled there, placing the younger teen gently on his lap. His arms placed firmly around the boy's waist, he rested his head against Kanda's neck and closed his eyes.

"You're still so beautiful, you know that, Kanda?"

Kanda started but Tyki wouldn't let him move away. The only movement he made was a repetitive stroking of the boy's hair, each stroke as gentle as the warm breath Kanda felt against his skin. "I will not deny that I wanted to possess you for myself, and that I was selfish, almost avaricious, in the way I demanded affection from you."

Kanda's breath came in small whispers; he dared not breathe in too deeply, as if he would risk ruining the peaceful silence. Something wet seemed to prickle against his neck and Kanda jerked his head around to see what it was. Could it be tears?

Those large hands came up and cupped his face softly, bringing it down till their lips were just a hair's breadth away. His heart began racing wildly. No, it wasn't fear, it wasn't disgust either. Kanda couldn't believe that even after all that happened, he was still getting worked up over this man's touches. He could hardly breathe for fear of spoiling the moment now.

The feel of Tyki's warm lips closing the space between them still brought a sensation like an electric shock coursing through his body. The kiss was extremely gentle, and Kanda had a feeling that Tyki dared not demand too much, but rather was trying to reassure him. His fingers curled and gripped the man's shirt even tighter as he savoured the chaste kiss. Then almost as suddenly as it began, it was over and Tyki was looking at him with those pained golden eyes before leaning his head against Kanda's chest.

"I'm sorry, I keep telling myself to let go but I can't. I want you, Kanda, even though I'm hurting you, and hurting myself as well. Why did you have to stir up such desire within me?"

Kanda whimpered as he felt a nip on his neck. But he wasn't scared, there was nothing foreboding about these ministrations. In fact, if Kanda was used to speaking his mind, he would have said that Tyki seemed to be holding him as if he were a fragile ornament, afraid that he would drop him by accident and break him, but yet so captivated by him that he couldn't resist keeping him. All these kisses, these gentle nips, they were more like a form of worship than a way to seek pleasure. He didn't know why, but Kanda knew that something was different. Tyki was being so gentle now, he never experienced this side of him before.

He let out a loud gasp as Tyki placed another butterfly kiss flittingly on his collarbone. He hadn't realised he was enjoying it so much. Perhaps it was louder than the ones before but his gasp made Tyki stop, much to Kanda's dismay. The boy glared at his master.

"What's wrong?" He asked, aware of his body beginning to get flushed and heated.

The answer he got was the action of Tyki pulling him down to rest on his lap again, his head lying against Tyki's chest. The closeness between them, and the tight embrace he held him in, somehow, instead of being frightened, Kanda felt the sense of security he had felt once before with the man return to his senses.

"I got a little overboard, that's all. You must be tired, you've been losing weight lately."

Kanda shook his head slowly. The familiar scent of cologne and the smell of cigarettes, accompanied by the warmth he was so comfortable with enveloped him. "You don't have to worry about that. I've been through… Worse things."

Tyki chuckled and resumed his stroking of Kanda's hair. After a few moments of blissful silence, Tyki asked: "Do you remember the time you nearly broke your pretty neck falling down that trapdoor?"

"Yeah, that was when all the sexual harassment started."

The magician merely smiled. "And our first time together? You were awfully compliant on that night."

Kanda snorted. "I was drugged. I would have fought tooth and nail to throw you off if I wasn't so drowsy." He stated stubbornly. He knew he wouldn't have, but just to retain his own pride and for the sake of satiating his own stubborn attitude, Kanda returned to snapping back at comments like these. Somehow it made him feel as if they were on the road to salvaging it all.

"Tell me the truth, Kanda, this is an order. Do you hate me?"

The Japanese shifted a little as his eyes closed. The stroking of his hair served as a soothing rhythm lulling him to sleep since he was quite tired already. "As in?"

"I mean, did you perhaps hate me from the very beginning, and still harbour that hatred till now?"

"Yeah, I hated you alright."

The stroking stopped and Tyki's eyes were bright as he paused to listen to Kanda. The boy sighed and continued. "I've always hated you, you and all those rich people out there. But of all people, you were the one I hated the most. Always above me, always so far out of my grasp, you had everything I never had. I… I hated that fact. The more I tried to run after you, the further away you got from me. I guess I got exasperated to the point that… I settled for just following in your shadow."

The rain was the only sound they could hear now, and it was drizzling to a halt as well. Kanda was half asleep as he mumbled.

"But at the end, I realised, that I hated myself more than you."

Tyki felt a stabbing pain at his heart as he heard those words. The idiot was blaming himself again.

"I hated myself, I hated the me who was always below you in every way, who could never stand side by side with you, no matter how much you did for me, I was always constantly reminded of my status. I never felt so wanted before, and so unable to fit in at the same time. It was painful, but I welcomed the pain."

Those tired fingers found their way to his shirt front and gripped the fabric tightly. "So… Tyki… From now on, I don't give a damn if you get married. I… I don't care if you continue living your life that's so different from mine. My fate was to serve, and I would stay in your shadow till the day I die. Keep me, break me, or love me, I don't care anymore. As long as I'm still your servant, I just… I just want to be with you."

He didn't know who the tears on his chest belonged to, if he could do anything for the one he loved so much, he would do it right now. Gazing at the already sleeping boy on his chest, Tyki realised that he loved Kanda more than anything, and to hell with all his own desires, what he truly wanted now was for Kanda to be happy.

If only they had met under different circumstances, if only they had met with different identities, maybe they could have had a better ending. Of course, he could always continue to be arrogant and selfish, choosing whatever pleasures in the world he wanted for himself and taking whatever he desired. But now, at this point, Tyki really couldn't bear to do it. To give up something he wanted so badly, it was a first for him, and he wondered if he even had the courage to do it.

Thinking about courage made him smile fondly at Kanda. The younger man was inexperienced in so many ways, but braver and tougher in others. He chose to live with the pain the world had inflicted on him, because he was living in a world where choices were a luxury to him. Tyki could never, and would never understand it, but he decided that for this once, he would have to give.

Slowly, gently, he placed Kanda back down onto the sheets. The rain outside had already stopped and the only signs remaining were the distant rumbles of thunder. For the first time since that night Kanda was sleeping soundly, and the mere sight of the peaceful face and relaxed shoulders, ebony hair falling beautifully across the white sheets and the calm stupor of slumber the boy was in, it was all enough reason for Tyki to make a sacrifice. Just for him. Just for the one he had learned to love.

Bending over quietly, Tyki placed a kiss onto Kanda's long hair, staying there for as long as he could to take in his scent, so he would never forget even this smallest detail of the boy.

"Kanda, I love you. And if there's one thing I learned about love, it's that it should never be selfish. It would make me so happy if you could truly, learn to love me back, but it's asking for too much after what I've done, isn't it?"

He pulled away from him somewhat rather longingly, his soul screaming at him not to let the boy go, but the more he gazed at Kanda the more he told himself it was worth it.

"I'm still selfish, Kanda. I'm sorry but, could I ask one more selfish favour? If you would forever remember me as the one who gave you freedom, and gave you love; the one who freed you from your bonds, and the one who gave you a new life, that's good enough for me."

Saying so, he rose from the bed and walked out of the room, careful not to let the sound of his footsteps or the click of the door closing wake Kanda.

He had a long day ahead of him, involving lots of new decisions and resolutions. And one of his new resolutions had everything to do with Kanda.

No matter where he went on from now, no matter where Kanda went to from now, Tyki told himself, that he would never love anyone else as much as this again.

* * *

The bright ray of sunlight shone directly on his eyes and woke him up. Groaning, Kanda shook the sleep from his eyes and blinked a couple of times to wake himself. The sun had already risen quite high into the morning sky. The faint smell of cologne and cigarettes lingered on his bed sheets and Kanda realised with a jolt, that it was a Monday.

Damn it, did he oversleep? But he had a good rest the night before, and by the faint smell still lingering, Kanda knew that it wasn't a dream, Tyki had been here last night, and he had fallen asleep in his arms. Swearing under his breath, Kanda pulled a casual white shirt onto his shoulders and buttoned it with haste. He only hoped that the magician was still sleeping.

A bell tinkled gently above his head. Kanda stared at it for a few moments. That bell, he recalled Tyki explaining to him ages ago, was used for calling the servants for important guests or functions, and Tyki had never used it to summon him before. Did that mean there was somebody important visiting Tyki today? Or was there an important matter that he needed to discuss?

"Of all the fucking days to fucking oversleep…" Kanda muttered in a bad mood as he kicked his way out of his room and hurried to Tyki's study.

* * *

Hmm, if I'm not mistaken, this story should be drawing to a close by fifteen chapters or less. Kinda sad to stop writing it though, but it has to come to an end someday, right?

I will miss writing it, however.


	13. Chapter 13 Troubled Soul

Right. I was supposed to update this like, 3 months ago but I lost touch with my DGM fetish and got busy with college. Then some of you decided to PM me and ask me for updates and I felt so obliged to finish this for you all awesome readers out there. So here's another update and an apology for taking so long to update this. I procrastinate too much.

In any case, I'm still a TyKan shipper and lover, and I am really sad that this story is drawing to a close. Maybe that's another reason why I'm so reluctant to post up the next few chapters. But hey, all things must come to an end soon, ne?

* * *

**Chapter 13 – Tortured Soul**

Tyki leaned his shoulder against the cool glass of the large framed window and let his thoughts wander. The tinkling sound of the bell he had just rung to summon his assistant still lingered in the silence of his study, and the only company he had in the quiet room now were his thoughts and the smell of cigarette smoke. He had spent the entire night thinking about what he would say to Kanda and how he would explain himself but now that the moment had drawn so close, it seemed as if the words he had wanted to say eluded him. It was as if he had absent-mindedly burnt his painstakingly prepared script and scattered the ashes in the sea of his wandering mind.

But it was too late to turn back now. He would have to do this; he would have to forsake his own selfish desires and go against his wishes for once in his perfect life. Even if it meant breaking his own heart, he would have to do this.

Even the smell of the cigarette smoke he was trying to drown himself in could not erase the scent of the younger man's beautiful long hair, and each excuse he came up with to reason his upcoming action only served to further agitate his frustrated feelings. He could only try and push down his raging passion with the memory of their last night together, and how the sight of Kanda sleeping so peacefully had driven him to make such a decision. This was all for him, Tyki had to keep telling himself.

All for the young man who had stubbornly denied all his amorous advances, all for the boy who had unknowingly stolen his heart, all for the one who he had tried to keep for himself and ended up breaking.

"You rang, sir?" That familiar voice interrupted his recollections.

Tyki started because he was too absorbed in thoughts to even hear the small knock before the door opened. He didn't really show it though, instead, he remained where he was standing, with his back slightly turned towards Kanda and issued an order.

"Sit, Kanda."

Kanda kept his distance but raised an eyebrow. "Sit?" He repeated.

"Yes, just take a seat in that armchair over there. I have many things to say to you."

Puzzled, his assistant moved hesitantly over to the large armchair and seated himself on the edge of it, hands gripping the sides rather awkwardly. _'What the fuck does he want to say to me?'_

Tyki blew out another small cloud of smoke before beginning his speech. Though to be honest, he really didn't know how to begin.

"I've been thinking about this for some time… I mean, what I mean to say is…" Tyki coughed slightly and pretended to clear his throat before continuing. "Well, I suppose you want to know why I woke you up this early in the morning for a private chat. That is to say, I decided to make a very important decision. And this decision… It concerns your welfare as well." He paused a while to catch himself and think out his next few lines properly.

The pause only served to confuse Kanda even further. Tyki's actions last night managed to worry him a little, and he could never be sure of his master's actions. Tyki tended to be cool and composed on the surface but passionate and complicated underneath that handsome exterior. And Kanda had a feeling that he was the only person to ever be treated to all those displays of overflowing emotions by the magician, emotions too real to be just for show. Whether or not he ought to be thankful for that fact, Kanda wasn't very sure.

"As I was saying, I've been thinking about all this business I go about doing. To tell the truth, I'm not getting any younger, and my brother has got a very good point…"

Kanda had a dreaded feeling about this. He couldn't even bring himself to look up towards Tyki. Instead, he only tightened his grip and cast his gaze lower onto the ground, tracing the patterns on the carpet with his sight.

"I feel that it's high time I settled down."

Kanda gave an involuntary jerk, as if to look up and stare at Tyki but kept his gaze transfixed on the carpet instead. There was no mistaking that sharp intake of breath though.

Tyki turned and glanced over at Kanda sideways. "I've given it a lot of thought, so don't be surprised. I have to quit this show business someday, it's not very becoming for a gentleman of my status. Frankly, I ought to have settled down a few years ago but I was too defiant to let go of my pleasures in life and become responsible for a family. It would be best if I accepted the engagement and started to live like a member of the Noah clan."

'_It's not true, and you know that. You want to live freely, without any bonds. Live freely, free to do whatever you want, whatever you please, and whatever you love. You want to live with the one you truly love, and not settle for some arranged marriage.'_

Tyki bit his lip at the thought, and chose to turn away from Kanda to resume his staring out of the window. He was arriving at the most important part of his speech, the part concerning Kanda's fate, which he was sure that Kanda would accept gladly.

"So we come to the part concerning you, Kanda. Now I'm sure you understand that I won't need you as my assistant anymore, since there won't be any magic show. I do not wish for you to follow me after this, because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able to fit in with the high-class society I'm so used to living in. Which is why I've decided… To give you back your freedom."

The last few words were spoken very softly, as if Tyki could not believe it himself that he was saying them. Either way, they barely fell on Kanda's ears, who had barely been listening since Tyki announced his decision. The things Tyki were telling him now were far too painful. They were the exact same things he had wished Tyki would do, the same things he had told himself again and again, the same facts he knew and accepted, but now, to hear these words repeated by Tyki himself… It was just too much to bear. It was just too great a blow for him.

'_He doesn't need me. Fool, you knew it since the beginning, didn't you? So why are you getting so worked up over it now? You knew you would never be able to fit into his society, and you knew you never were part of his perfect life. Idiot, you were delusional, weren't you? And now you're mentally beating yourself over it? What are you, more fucking stupid than the average idiot? Damn it, Kanda, get a grip on yourself!'_

"Kanda, are you listening?"

Still a pause. Maybe he didn't get the message.

"I'm giving you back your freedom, Kanda."

It was dreadful, how silent Kanda was getting, even disturbing. Tyki had expected a more emotional outburst, maybe one or two swear words, or surprised, dark eyes staring at him in disbelief but not this. Just a quiet moment, as if Kanda refused to accept the fact that he would soon be a free man. Didn't Kanda tell him before that he would like to be a free man again? Wasn't it what he wanted? Tyki was wondering if the boy hadn't heard him properly before Kanda spoke.

"You don't love her."

The words were out before he could even stop himself. But what hurt him the most was that Kanda believed he knew Tyki best, and even if he wasn't wanted here, the worst thing that could happen was for him to see Tyki get himself into a situation he wasn't happy in. He just didn't want Tyki to be unhappy. Tyki inhaled sharply but kept his composure. "It's not a question of love, Kanda, it's a matter of class and…"

"But you don't love her!"

'_Damn it, Kanda Yuu! Stop this! It's his life, not yours, why are you so freaking worked up over it?'_

"Doesn't mean I can't marry her. Look, Kanda, we're not here to talk about my love life and all…"

"You hate doing things against your will! You've always wanted to do things your way and get what you want! It's not like you to… To just… Marry into an arranged engagement like this!"

"Kanda, listen. I'll sort my own problems out later, but right now I want to discuss yours."

"We both know you're the one facing problems here, God damn it!"

"I do not have a problem with this, Kanda!"

"You don't want this! You wouldn't like this!"

"How would you know I wouldn't want this?"

"She doesn't know you as well as I do!"

His heart was throbbing painfully. The simple statement Kanda had mentioned was true, and it stabbed through him like a knife through the chest to hear the truth from someone who understood him so well. Damn it, he never realized how much the boy understood him. What he really wanted to do right now was to stride over and throw his arms around Kanda, pull him into a deep embrace and apologize for being so stupid. And then he just wanted to stay there unmoving, hugging the one he loved tightly, not letting go, just whispering sweet words into his ear and comfort the visibly shaken boy. His body was about to react to this notion when a darker, more possessive feeling took over and Tyki froze as his mind uttered those selfish thoughts to himself.

'_You don't have to let him go, you should just keep him. If it hurts you so much to let him go, then don't do it.'_

No, he told himself. No, it's not right. If you love something, you let it go.

'_But you know what you would really like to do. So go ahead, you have the power to anyway. Don't let him go. Keep him, take him, rape him, do with him to your heart's content. Because you can.'_

He was mortified with himself for even thinking that. Thankfully Kanda wasn't paying attention to the way his eyes widened in shock at the very thought of having his way with Kanda again. The thought of forcing Kanda to give him the affection he wanted sickened him to the stomach and he could feel cold sweat forming on his brow.

'_This is exactly why you shouldn't keep him with you anymore. You are a danger to the boy, and it would only hurt him further if he stays with you.'_

He couldn't stand the thought of Kanda having to settle being second in his life. If Kanda had to follow in his shadow for the rest of their lives together and watch him live happily with another person, Kanda wouldn't complain, he knew it. But he knew Kanda would bleed slowly to death on the inside, and it would be pure torture for the boy. And then again there was that chance he would get violent towards him whenever he wasn't in a good mood. Not that he wasn't sure of himself but ever since he had lost control and forced himself on the boy, Tyki constantly warned himself that there was always that danger of him hurting the one he loved again.

"Kanda, please listen to me. It's for your own good, and for mine as well. It's a win-win situation, alright? You'll only be in the way because you're not trained to live in a high-class society like I am. You don't belong with me. It's not your place."

"So what you're saying here is, you're getting yourself a wife you don't even have feelings for just to please your family, you're stopping your magic show because it would get in the way of your new life and you're letting me go because you won't need me anymore?"

'_That's not what you want, is it, Tyki Mikk? You need Kanda in your life. Just tell him that's not it and assure him you're not going to do it.'_

"Yes, that's right."

The tone he employed was a firm and serious one, one that told Kanda he wasn't joking. Even as Kanda looked up to question Tyki he found his words stuck on its way out, because the cold and serious color in Tyki's eyes gave him the message that his decision was final.

With that, all the argument that was in his spirit just left him, and it seemed to Tyki that when Kanda closed his eyes and opened them again, his dark orbs were just that. Dark and empty. All the fire and spirit he had seen in them before were gone. It was as if Kanda had given up on something.

He stood up abruptly. "Then I'm going."

'_So fast?'_ Tyki's conscience asked in a panic. Never before was he such a conflict, to let Kanda go and at the same time, try and linger his presence a little longer.

"Uh, wait. Here, this belongs to you. It's some useful papers you'd need, some important documents of sorts, okay? And… Your salary. I've calculated your pay since you joined me, it's double the usual amount I pay my assistants. And I haven't left anything out."

Saying thus, Tyki lifted up a large suitcase and plopped it onto desk. He pushed it towards Kanda. "Go ahead, take it. You'll need it."

Without another word, Kanda strode over to the desk and placed his hand on the suitcase. For a second, a part of Tyki hoped that he would push it back and say he wanted to stay or something, but whatever hesitation Kanda had disappeared within that second. The teen just hoisted the suitcase away and strode out.

As the door closed behind Kanda's disappearing figure, Tyki turned his face away from the scene. He didn't want his last memory of Kanda to be of his lovely black hair whipping out of that door and away from him. Away from his life.

He remained rooted to the spot and took slow, deep breaths to try and calm his racing heartbeat. From where he stood, he could hear the sounds of banging and thuds from the room down the corridor as Kanda, he presumed, was packing whatever he possessed (Not that he had much) and getting ready to leave.

'_He's going to leave immediately.'_

The reality sank in and Tyki didn't like it. _'What I should do now, is run out of the room and call out his name. Ask him to stay with me and embrace him. Apologize to him. Just do something to make him stay!'_

There were footsteps in the corridor now. They were getting nearer and nearer and would pass by Tyki's study anytime soon. His first impulse was to rush out and fling the door open while crying out Kanda's name but his legs refused to budge.

He was right outside his study now, and he stopped. The footsteps, which had been resounding like a countdown in Tyki's ears, just stopped. Tyki's hopes rose slightly. Would he come in and say some parting words? Should he open the door now? Or maybe pretend to ask Kanda in for some random reason?

No sound came from outside. If Kanda was standing out there, he sure was standing motionless for quite a long time.

Quite suddenly, the thudding of his feet began again, this time, more quick and determined. The sound of his footsteps grew further and further away as he reached the door, and then that dreaded click came as Kanda unlocked it and opened the door. All this was followed by a creaking sound as the door was swung open, and finally, that slam to signal his departure.

And then he was gone.

* * *

The murmuring buzz of conversation and the clinks of glasses knocking against the counter failed to shake him from his train of thoughts. Even as he chugged down the contents of his third glass of beer, the drowsy feeling of being drunk refused to sweep him away into a world with no worries and depression.

He didn't know how he managed to wind up in here, all he knew was that he finally left the study after God knows how long, and absent-mindedly strolled down the streets, trying not to feel depressed. Every now and then he would turn to make a cynical comment about something to his assistant, only to remember he wasn't there anymore and every time that happened, he only felt worse.

He recalled passing by a pawn shop, and to his shock, discovered a familiar sword in the window. He didn't give it much thought, but strode right into the shop in a few strides and demanded for the owner to come to the counter. He didn't care how much it was worth, he wanted it immediately. He knew Kanda would like to have it, but it wasn't until he was out of the shop and on the streets with the sword safely wrapped in brown paper that he realized Kanda wouldn't want it anymore, because he wasn't at home waiting for him and because he probably was the one who sold it to the shop for money to pay back Tyki in the first place. And that terrible feeling swarmed back into his soul again.

Eventually the sun began to set, and Tyki found himself in a dingy bar surrounded by weary men and scantily dressed women, some of which were eyeing him and whispering to each other and giggling to themselves. He didn't give a damn that he looked so out of place, he just threw himself down on a chair and ordered something to drink.

"Get me another one." He muttered moodily as he threw a few more coins onto the wooden counter.

The barman only raised an eyebrow as he went off to refill the glass. This customer would be drunk before he knew it but hey, lots of people got themselves drunk here daily. Bars are where they came to try and dissolve their worries into the beer and drink them away. And this man looked as though he was going to commit suicide soon.

As the fourth glass arrived, Tyki grabbed it and drained the glass as fast as he could. As he banged it back onto the counter, he noted that his vision was blurry. Good, he would be drunk in no time.

"You look rather lonely tonight, my good sir." A voice dripping with seduction and perfume interrupted his thoughts and a woman in a red dress sidled up next to him. Her black shawl was draped over her shoulders, but she "accidently" let it fall down to her elbows, exposing her smooth ivory skin.

Tyki smirked. "And would you like to accompany this lonely man tonight, darling?"

"For a price, I would." She smiled and leaned closer, moving an arm down to rest on his lap.

He was breaking boundaries and crossing lines he shouldn't. But why shouldn't he? He didn't have anyone to love already, and he was about to enter a life of chains. The only reason he would agree to the arranged marriage was to severe all his ties, physical and emotional, with Kanda. Getting married would mean he had a commitment with a new person, and thus he would never try and look for Kanda, or start a relationship with him again. Because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Kanda, and he wouldn't be able to stop longing for him. It may be cruel to his new wife, but he didn't care enough about her to bother about the fact that she may not like it, that her new husband only agreed to marry her so he could forget about the one he truly loved.

For now, he would just enjoy himself. As they laughed and whispered seductive words to each other, and ordered another round of drinks, Tyki could practically see his future in the amber liquid. The laughing man he saw reflected back at him was one he would be from now on, appearing to enjoy himself with affairs, for he knew, deep down inside, that he would never able to remain faithful to his so called wife. Because she was not the one he loved.

The scent of perfume and powders would have sickened the sober him, but he was drunk and the alcohol hindered his ability to think straight. He didn't care about anything right now; there was nothing for him to care for, nothing. Not even Kanda.

Kanda.

"We're getting out of here, Mr. Mikk."

A strong arm came around him and practically dragged him away from the whore. Tyki tried to stand up properly but ended up losing his balance and clinging onto the stranger for support. He laughed and tried to walk a couple of steps but the stranger had to steer him out of the bar as he ranted like a mad man.

The familiar tone, that familiar scent, and the feel of long hair tickling his face… Tyki's spirits rose hopefully and he chuckled to himself.

"You came back for me, Kanda."

Whoever was supporting him didn't answer directly. "You of all people should know that getting drunk isn't the answer to your problems. And you should know what mistakes you always make when you of all people get fucking drunk like a hopeless alcoholic."

"I missed you."

"A few hours without me and you're useless."

The stranger paused in their tracks. It seemed as if they reached the sidewalk already. Tyki looked up to try and see who it was but the images before him shifted and faded like shadows. Still, there was no mistaking that scent, that voice and that feeling he was getting. It could only be him.

Tyki tried to stand properly again but ended up throwing himself over the stranger and with a yelp, both of them crashed onto the pavement. He didn't know why he was laughing, maybe it was the alcohol, but he couldn't get up again.

"Mr. Mikk, get off. Come on, I'll get a cab. Get off me."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kanda. I want you back."

Those hands were trying to pull him off but he only tightened his embrace around this stranger. "I'm not letting you go this time."

"Sir… You're drunk." The other man said softly.

"I'm not, I'm just lonely." Tyki smirked as he said that. "I love you so much."

"I'm getting a cab."

"Guess what I found? Your sword. You can have it back again." He chuckled maniacally and settled his head against the other man's neck. "Don't leave me."

There was a sound of wheels pulling up beside them and Tyki felt himself hoisted up by the shoulders and arms. He was hauled towards the cab and pushed inside, but not roughly. The familiar voice seemed to be muttering directions to another person but their voices seemed so far away now. He was drifting off into unconsciousness.

'_Kanda… You came back for me…'_

* * *

_The light that hit his eyes seemed to blind him as he opened them. For a few seconds he blinked to clear his vision and soon his eyes rested on a familiar figure sitting by his bed. He was lying on clean, white sheets, and they were in a large, whitewashed room._

"_Kanda!" Tyki sat up hurriedly as he recognized the person._

"_I see you're awake. I should go now." Kanda made to get up and leave but Tyki grasped his hands in his own tightly and detained him._

"_No, please, no. Stay, I want you to stay."_

_The tone in Kanda's voice was cold and harsh. "But you just said you didn't want me."_

"_I was foolish, Kanda. I realized I couldn't live a life of lies. And my biggest lie was to confess I didn't love you."_

"_You loved me? Now that's a lie. You and I both know it."_

_His heart ached to hear those words. Tyki spoke and this time, he sounded desperate._

"_Kanda, I'm sorry. I never should have acted the way I should. Let's start over again, please, Kanda. Please stay with me."_

"_Start over again? Heck, we were never in a relationship to begin with!" Kanda shouted. He wrenched his hands out of Tyki's furiously and glared at him. The intensity of his hatred was so great that Tyki lowered his gaze ashamedly. Kanda continued in a loud voice._

"_We were never together, we could never be! You were always above me, and you had to make your point clear, didn't you? You raped me!"_

"_Kanda, please, forgive me. I don't deserve it, but I still love you. You have to trust m-"_

"_Trust you? I did, Tyki. I did. And I was an idiot to do so. You only hurt me, you never loved me. If that was love, I don't want it!"_

_Kanda stood up with his eyes blazing. There was so much hatred there Tyki couldn't believe this was the same man he fell in love with. He tried to say something but the words failed him. What could he say to appease Kanda now?_

"_I'm leaving now. You can live your happy life with your rich family and friends. Go ahead, and I wish you best of luck with your wife. Forget about me." He spat with pure poison and turned away to stalk off._

"_Kanda!"_

_Tyki stumbled out of bed and onto his knees behind Kanda. This was the first time he had ever knelt down to ask for something from anyone._

_The Japanese paused with his back towards Tyki. Tyki knew that if he had a good reason for Kanda to stay, he better say it now, because this could be the last chance he would ever get to beg Kanda to stay. But even as he opened his mouth, his words choked in his throat and all that came out were gasps and dry sobs. He dropped his gaze and curled his fingers into fists as he sobbed on all fours. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do but he wanted Kanda to forgive him so badly. For a man once proud and confident, he had been reduced to a humiliated lover on his knees, begging for forgiveness._

"_I love you, Kanda. I love you, I love you, I love you, I-"_

_Two arms wrapped themselves around his back in an embrace. The warmth and love the simple move brought to Tyki's tortured soul was indescribable, and Tyki stopped speaking to give in to his painful sobs. There weren't really tears, even though his eyes were wet, but Tyki was too proud a man to let the tears fall. Kneeling was already a great blow to his pride but for Kanda, he would do anything now._

"_Tyki… Forget about me. Just... Please… Just forget about me." Those were the words he heard whispered softly and comfortingly above him. There was something else whispered after that too, but Tyki failed to catch what was being said. Before he could ask, the warmth was gone and Tyki looked up to find Kanda gone._

"_Kanda? Kanda! Kanda, please wait!"_

_His screams echoed off the eerily white walls and seemingly empty place. He was alone again._

* * *

"Kanda!" He screamed as he opened his eyes in shock and gasped for breath.

"Tyki, are you alright?" A girl's voice asked in concern.

It took him a while to get his breath back and take in the scene before him. He was back in his chambers at the Noah Manor, lying on his large bed and Road was sitting beside him, her tiny hand squeezing his large palm tightly. Two servants stood by the door, one carrying a basin of water while the other carried some towels, both looking awfully frightened. Even Road looked rather disturbed.

"Tyki, you look awful! Did you have a nightmare?"

Tyki sat up stared at his shaking hand. It was just a dream, Kanda hating him so badly and leaving him, it was all just a terrible nightmare. A tear stain was damp against his right cheek and he wiped it off hastily. He closed his eyes and tried to recall what happened.

"How did I get here? The last I remember I was…"

"You got yourself drunk, Tyki. You were drinking again, and when you arrived, you were just a lifeless heap of alcoholic fumes."

That's right, he had been drinking, because he had freed Kanda and he was depressed. But Kanda came for him and hailed a cab and…

"Where's Kanda?" Tyki asked in concern. Road stared back at him with confusion.

"That's just what I was about to ask you."

His heart sank like a stone. "You mean… I came here on my own?"

"Elizabeth brought you in. You shouldn't be out drinking so much, little brother."

Cyril walked in through the double doors and crossed over to Tyki's bed. Road jumped off and clung at her father, who placed his hand on Tyki's forehead. "Are you feeling better now, dear brother?"

"I'm fine. Elizabeth brought me in?" Tyki asked uncertainly. But he remembered it was a guy who got him a cab, and if he wasn't wrong, stayed with him throughout the journey. He knew because he felt himself resting on that stranger's lap, and a kind arm stayed on his shoulder the entire way.

"Yes, she was here with her mother for a chat this morning and she was the one who found you and brought you in. I must say, not a very good image to leave on your fiancée."

Tyki felt his spirits sink. He had hoped that it was Kanda, but then again, he could have been dreaming, the nightmare he just woke up from had seemed so real anyway.

"I'll be fine soon, brother. I just need more rest, so would you kindly leave me alone?"

Cyril seemed as if he wanted to say something but decided against it. Instead he nodded and patted Road on the head. "Come, dear, let's leave your uncle to rest. Call the servants if you need anything."

Tyki didn't seem to hear as he sank back onto the soft pillows. In just the span of a few hours, he had gone through so much emotional torture he felt as though he had aged a couple of year. He just wanted his assistant back again.

Because now he didn't have a reason to go on living anymore.

* * *

Gosh, this chapter turned out long. Depressed Tyki wasn't easy to write because he's always so happy and proud, but I figured one couldn't be truly happy all the time, he's got to have internal issues. The conflicting emotions he felt was not easy to portray as well and I hope I got it across nicely. Sometimes it's only human to try and do the so-called right thing but still feel so torn up inside. In any case, leave a review please. I'd like to hear from you awesome readers again. It's been so long! =)

This story will be ending soon too, and you're free to continue guessing how it'll end. I'll apologize beforehand if the ending's not what you guys expected though.


	14. Chapter 14 Lamentations

Prepare yourself for… Nonsensical rants and crap.

Yes, the warning for this chapter, lots of depressed Tyki brooding over his sorry state and no Kanda. I think. Sorry for the long wait, but my trials are killing me. College is not easy.

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM. Nope.

* * *

**Chapter 14 – Lamentations**

Sunlight flitted down amongst the trees and cast a soft glow against the neatly kept lawn. A cool breeze brought a refreshing feeling to anyone who felt its gentle caress. It was a lovely summer's day to be outside in the garden and Road would have liked for nothing better than to play outside with her dolls and her beloved uncle.

Only, her beloved uncle seemed to be the only one not feeling the warm summer weather.

He was sitting on the steps, staring far away, a cigarette wedged between his expressionless lips. Just a couple of hours ago, her father had insisted he take her outside to play in the nice weather, mentioning something about the weather being able to do her good but Road knew that it wasn't her that needed doing good, it was her uncle himself. His head was leaning wearily against the railing and his eyes looked like the dead. Yet other than that, nothing seemed to be wrong with the picture. His physical appearance was still as handsome as ever, his hair groomed and his face shaved neatly, clothes picked out with the utmost care. In fact, one look at him and you would just see an attractive bachelor from an upper-class and wealthy family, with absolutely no earthly worries to trouble his soul. But Road knew better.

'_His eyes.'_ She thought to herself._ 'Something's wrong with his eyes. Look closely at them and you can tell the there is truth in the saying that your eyes are the window to your soul. His eyes tell the story of a man who has had everything taken away from him, a broken man. If his eyes are like a window, then the curtains are drawn, because the soul within is empty and foreboding, and something important is missing.'_

She recalled that fateful night when Tyki was found at the gate, so drunk he could barely stand without help. After waking up screaming in his chambers the next day, he seemed so downcast and lifeless, and eventually succumbed to a fever which kept him in bed for a fortnight. Two weeks in which he gained absolutely no rest, only countless nightmares where he would scream and cry and toss around wildly under the sheets. The entire Noah household thought he was losing his mind. And when he came to, a couple of weeks later, it really did seem as though he had lost his sanity. Or at least, his spirit.

They blamed it on the fever. They said the temperature got to his head. Again, Road knew better.

The servants would whisper rumors about their young master's illness. Those who took care of him said he would cry out for someone each night. In hushed tones they told the other servants about how sometimes, during his feverish state, the young master would sit up in bed but his eyes would not be able to recognize them. Instead, in his hallucinations, he would search around wildly, looking for someone. Always the same person. Always the same name.

Kanda, they said. It was a person called Kanda he was looking for.

And then the rumors got worse. For the entire household had already been getting ready to officiate a new engagement and soon-to-be wedding for the young master, but the sudden drama brought fresh doubts fuelled by these mysterious symptoms, and needless to say, the servants enjoyed as much of gossip and scandals as they could.

There was an affair going on, the servants would chatter about excitedly. There had to be, because Master Mikk was so obsessed with this hallucination to the point he was delirious. And they knew that there was no one in the family called Kanda, so it couldn't possibly be a long-lost relative. That's why it could only mean one thing. The servants were not dumb, and their imagination would run wild.

Road heard all of them. Not only the rumors, but the rumored cries the servants told of as well. For she would visit him to check on his condition, and she knew the way he would call desperately, a name she recognized and would soon grow familiar amongst the servants as well. She was there when he had sat up wildly and knocked away all the servants who tried to wrestle him back into bed, begging that someone not to leave him. She saw how Tyki would grasp the sheets tightly as he fumbled to try and catch someone's hand. And not let it go. Or how during some nights, he would just fall deadly silent, and only the way he tossed and turned around in bed could show how uneasy his disturbed sleep was, as if he was trapped in some horrible nightmare.

Even after his illness finally subsided, Tyki was not strong enough yet to be able to participate in formal social events or even leave his room. For another fortnight or so he remained in his room, hardly making any conversation with whoever visited him, usually his brother, or sometimes even the twins. Even when a cousin from another district came to call on him he was received with only mild politeness, and not the usual warm passion one would expect from Tyki Mikk.

To hide this series of events, the story circulated that the young son of the Noah family fell dreadfully ill with pneumonia, having been caught out in the rain on a hunting trip. Visitors and guests would ask kindly about his health, and these questions were casually replied to with just a small smile from Cyril, nothing to indicate the hostile tension that each of the Noahs felt about Tyki now.

'_But if everyone knows that something is bothering Tyki, why isn't anyone doing anything about it?'_ Road wondered.

The engagement would be finalized in a few more days. A month had passed since Tyki had taken ill and he was now deemed well enough to proceed with the formal procedures. It would seem as if he had decided to settle down too, and quit his fooling around with magic tricks as well, all which Cyril happily praised his younger brother about, saying it was a wise decision.

No one really bothered to ask how he felt. As long as he was doing whatever was right in the eyes of the Earl, and also to keep up the reputation of the Noah clan, then everyone thought he was happy.

All because it made them happy, and it was the right choice. Not because it made Tyki happy.

Truth be told, Road never really entertained the idea of Tyki getting married. Tyki always had time for her, and lots of patience too, so it was no surprise she was closer to her uncle than to her own father, who was always very strict about how the gentry should act and how a young lady like herself should behave. Around Tyki, she never needed to bother.

His thoughts were always hard to read, his expressions harboring hidden meanings behind them and his actions unfathomable. But it was quite easy to see this time that Tyki had given something up for the better. And he had given it up not for the family's good. And neither his own.

Which was why Road felt that someone should at least do something for Tyki's own good this time.

She crossed over lightly towards Tyki and stood in front of him. When he didn't make any notice of her, she spoke up.

"Tyki, play with me."

Her voice was small and pleading. If he was startled, he didn't show it. Instead, his gaze shifted slowly to focus on the young girl in front of him before he lifted himself away from the railing he had been leaning against. Then his blank face broke into the gentle smile he always reserved for her.

'_But his eyes. They're still so sad.'_

"I'm too old for games, Road. And besides, I'm still a little worn out from my fever."

She pouted. "That never stopped you before. And in my opinion, magic was never any more serious than playing."

"Magic is more serious than you think, dear. Magicians have dark secrets that cannot be compared to child's play."

"Like the secret of what happened to Kanda?"

His smile vanished. Tyki quickly averted his gaze; as if afraid his eyes would betray him. Road sat down on the step below him and stared up expectantly.

"Where did Kanda go?"

Tyki hesitated for while before answering. "I… I can't say."

"Why not? Why can't you tell me? I won't tell Father."

He shook his head. "No, I just don't know. Road, I don't know."

"Did you let him go, Tyki?"

Her uncle didn't answer. Road watched as he held his head in his hands, unable to bring his gaze to look up. He moaned and shook his head as he mumbled about not knowing a thing. She reached out to touch him gently.

"Tyki dear… Did you let Kanda go?"

Tyki fell silent as Road prodded him with her repeated inquiry gently. It took him a lot of strength to lift his face up and look at her but when he finally did, his expression was visibly shaken and his voice was trembling as he asked uncertainly.

"Was it a right choice, Road?"

His tone was that of a person seeking reassurance, the tone of a trembling soul longing for company, or the need for that one friendly voice. His words were that of disbelief, as if Tyki still could not believe that he had been the one to make this decision that would haunt him so terribly now. His eyes, Road noted, were like those of a soldier who had killed countless innocents in war to protect something he held dear, and returned to his country to seek forgiveness and reassurance, but continued to be haunted by dreams of the dead, just like she had read about in so many novels before. She just never expected to see this devastating vision reflected in a person so dear to her.

His voice faltered slightly again as he questioned her. "Was it right to let him leave me?"

Her fingers curled on his lap and she bit her lip before asking him back. "Was he really that important to you?"

"More than anything else in my life." He whispered. Then as if afraid he had revealed a little too much, Tyki refused to look at her anymore. He bowed his head and cradled his brown locks in his hands, all the while shaking his head as he tried to explain himself.

"I had to, because I would only hurt him more if I made him stay. It was so damn hard to control myself around him; I hurt him in more ways than one. And then…" He gulped, as if scared to admit the next confession. "I took away everything he had."

His heart ached terribly at the thought of Kanda. How he wanted everything to be just the way they were, when they had first met, and their passion was not as fiery and destructive as it was towards the end. How he missed that stubborn, stoic and beautiful expression, the mysterious charm he held beneath that calm exterior and that scent that belonged to him, and only him. How bitterly he regretted not just asking for the boy's forgiveness, or even begging him for it, because it seemed to Tyki now that he was even more pathetic than before, useless and pitiful, so much so that falling to his knees before Kanda would've been a much more honorable thing to do than live like this now.

He took in a shuddering breath to calm his nerves, and continued. "So I decided to let him go. He's better off without me; I expect he's free and happy now, doing whatever he pleases and going wherever he wants to."

Tyki wondered, how would Kanda look like when he's happy, truly happy? Would his face light up with a far more beautiful expression than the mysterious and dark mask Tyki fell in love with? And how would his blissful smile look like? Would it be so filled with happiness, the kind of happiness Tyki had never been able to give him?

The thought of being able to see Kanda happy made him chuckle. Road frowned slightly. "Tyki, are you alright? What's with the chuckling now?"

He smiled his gentle smile at her. "Oh, I'm alright. It's just that the thought of Kanda being happy… I want to be able to see it." He gave a small laugh. "Till now, I'm still such a selfish bastard after all. I still want to have the right to bask in his happiness, even though after all I did, I don't deserve to get a glimpse of his blissful expression."

Road muttered sadly. "You really do miss him, don't you?"

"Shall we change the subject, Road?"

"Whatever floats your boat. I only hoped you'd feel better if you talked to someone."

"Thanks for the thought, my dear."

Even as he tried to push thoughts of Kanda out of his head, his former assistant somehow managed to intrude upon all his waking thoughts, and even those of his dreams. How was he ever going to continue living like this?

His gaze wandered away from his niece, as he stared off into space. Then he asked absent-mindedly, "Elizabeth is arriving for tea, is she?"

"Yes, and her parents will be joining us too. You are aware that today is the day the engagement plans will be finalized, right?"

"I am, and I also need to thank her for the other night too."

The night he had come home drunk, and he had, in his drunken stupor, thought the person who had brought him home to be none other than his beloved Kanda. Upon waking up the next day, Cyril had told him Elizabeth was the one who had brought him into the Noah Manor and all Tyki's hopes that Kanda might have forgiven him were dashed. What was left was only embarrassment for getting all touchy feely with whom he had thought was Kanda, and in reality was his would-be fiancé.

"What other night?"

Tyki raised a doubtful eyebrow at her. "The night I was brought back drunk. I also need to apologize for acting rather vulgarly towards her. I… Thought she was someone else, you see."

Road toyed with a ribbon on her dress as she fidgeted uncomfortably. Then she spoke up in a rather small voice.

"Elizabeth didn't bring you back."

The silence that fell following her statement was awkward. Tyki turned to look at her in disbelief. "What? She… She didn't? But Cyril said…"

"Father wasn't really lying, she was the one who brought you back in here. But she found you at the gates, not at the bar or wherever it was you were drinking at."

"You're kidding me… How… What?" Tyki stuttered uncertainly.

"She and Madame Menkes were returning from a late ball, and their carriage rode past Noah Manor. Elizabeth saw another carriage leaving the manor and noticed you left behind at the gate. How you came back in your drunken state or who was with you at that time, she did not know, and she clearly informed us she was as baffled about the scenario as we were."

Road stopped pulling at the lace and smiled up at Tyki. "So let your imagination run wild or whatever, some other kind stranger brought you back and upon seeing the two lady Menkes, left before he or she could be thanked."

Tyki's heart started pounding wildly. _'So it wasn't her… Then there's hope that… It couldn't have been… But…"_

He tried hard to recall that night. That familiar scent, the long hair tickling his face, and now he remembered something else. The repeated stroking of someone's hand on his head as he lay on someone's lap, trying to calm him down and reassure him, the touch so gentle and loving that he had felt so safe, on his way back to the Noah Manor, interrupted only by the occasional jerk as the cab ran over the brick road.

He threw back his head and laughed heartily. Road shook her head. Her uncle was really, really losing his mind. Tyki paid no heed to her, only succumbing to that sudden fit of laughter, laughing so hard it would seem that his eyes started to water as well.

"Oh Kanda… I must have seemed like such a useless, worthless fool to you, didn't I?"

If it was Kanda that night, then he, Tyki Mikk, had shown his most pathetic side to him. Kanda would have seen him reduced to a depressed and useless drunkard, hopeless and clinging onto his last threads of sanity. And then what reason would Kanda even have to return to his side?

"You're a fool, Tyki Mikk. If Kanda sees you like this, what would he think? What will be worth it in me that he would see fit to return for?"

If he had any chance, any hope of Kanda willing to return to him, he had to show that he was worthy of him. For things were different now. Kanda was, is a free man now, and capable of his own decisions. He would not need Tyki to keep him, he could fend for himself and make a living on his own. Therefore, the only way to win Kanda back now was to show him that he was good enough for him.

Then, maybe then, will Kanda come back into his waiting arms.

In any case, Tyki felt a whole lot lighter now, the weight of his sorrow seemed lifted, and even though the pain of losing Kanda was still there, but Tyki felt as though he had retained the power to change things, and make things better again.

"Come here, Road!" He pounced on his niece and swept her off her feet, spinning her in the air as she squealed and yelled for him to stop.

"What's wrong with you? I swear when Kanda left, he ran away with your mind as well."

Tyki put her down and hugged her tightly. "Thanks a lot, darling. My head's all cleared now, thanks to our little chat."

Road broke free of the hug and pouted. "I want candy for a reward then. A nice big lollipop."

He patted her hair and ruffled it, receiving an agonized protest from the little girl. "Right, right. You'll get ten lollipops after I've settled things."

Her eyes went round at the promise of candy. Then she thought hard. "Settled things? You don't mean to say… Hey, Tyki, wait up!" She called after her uncle, who was marching into the house with determined steps. When he dismissed her with a wave and disappeared into the house, Road pouted again.

"He is so losing it. Seriously, Kanda, you'd better come back. I don't think I want a lunatic for an uncle for the rest of my life."

* * *

There was a gentle tinkle of china as he set down his cup onto the delicate saucer and settled back into his chair, smiling gently but at no one in particular. He was aware of Elizabeth trying to catch his attention all throughout tea but Tyki rarely met her gaze.

Cyril put on his best suit, and his best smile as usual, welcoming and entertaining the guests. The surreptitious glances Elizabeth gave his younger brother every few minutes did not escape his notice, and the passive behavior of Tyki as well puzzled him, but Cyril attributed that to the shyness one feels on a decisive day like this, and shrugged it off.

Only Elizabeth and her parents, as well as Cyril and Tyki, were present. Road wasn't allowed anywhere near the room, even though she vehemently protested and insisted she wanted to enjoy the party as well. She was probably fuming in her room now, Tyki thought, and maybe tearing one or two dolls to pieces in her fury. He felt a bit guilty that she was not allowed to witness all the drama unfolding, and he made up his mind to buy much more than a dozen lollipops for her later.

Mr. Menkes laughed heartily at a comment Cyril gave. "Always the charmer, Cyril, my dear man. And I won't deny that your younger brother has inherited all of that witty charm too."

Cyril smiled nicely. "Shall we proceed with the formalities then? There's a lot to be arranged, and I expect that both parties would have their conditions regarding the matter as well. Maybe the young couple would like to take a walk on the grounds while we discuss matters over?" He turned over at Tyki, indicating that he take Elizabeth out on a walk to "strengthen" their bonds.

To everyone's surprise, Tyki neither accepted nor denied the suggestion. He just remained silent on his chair, as if pondering over something serious. Then just as the odd silence was reaching an uncomfortable climax, he seemed to jerk to life and returned Cyril's plastic smile with one of his own.

"Oh of course, right. We'll just step outside for a few minutes. But before we do that, I have but one thing to say."

Cyril's smile seemed to falter just slightly. "My dear brother, whatever's the matter? Do you have a suggestion on the wedding plans or maybe the date on which it will take place?"

"Um actually no. I won't be getting married."

The silence that struck everyone this time was even more awkward than the first. Elizabeth stared in bewilderment at Tyki, Cyril looked as though he was about to throw a fit and Mr. and Mrs. Menkes seemed to have been struck by lightning. Cyril was the first to regain his composure and his smile as well.

"Oh my brother, always such a joker. He really didn't mean for the joke to be in such bad taste, did you, Tyki?"

Tyki raised an eyebrow. "I'm not joking, I'm deadly serious here. Oh but I meant no offence to you, Mr. Menkes, and to the lovely Madam Menkes as well. And of course not to Miss Menkes. She is a beautiful lady, full of charm and talent. There's really nothing wrong with her."

Mr. Menkes was turning red in the face as he spluttered. "I… I thought we were here for… I mean… The plans and all… What joke is this?"

"Brother, stop this. Mr. Menkes, I'm sure Tyki meant no harm…"

"I'm being really serious here. As a gentleman, I refuse to carry on this charade and marry Miss Menkes when my heart already belongs to someone else."

Cyril nearly did a double take and his composure was only a hair's end from shattering completely. "Why didn't you tell us this earlier? What more haven't you told us?"

"This is an insult to the Menkes household! I do not appreciate being made a fool of! What will I say to my relations and acquaintances later? That Tyki Mikk of the Noah household rejected my daughter's hand in marriage?" Mr. Menkes boomed in anger.

"Dear, calm yourself down!" His wife exclaimed.

"Mr. Menkes, I assure you, I had no wind of this as well, I'm about as dumbfounded as you are in this. I'm sure we can settle this… Tyki, say something!"

"Society will think something is wrong with my daughter that she would be turned down like this! I demand to know what riffraff would be better than my girl!"

"Father, let Sir Mikk explain himself first!"

Tyki raised his hand for silence amidst the commotion. "May I address Miss Menkes personally? Because I feel that the one most wronged in this situation, and who I am guilty of betraying, is her. I meant no ill feelings, but it would be a greater wrong to take Elizabeth as my wife when I already love someone else. The idea of having a wife for show does not particularly appeal to me, and should I mention, it would be ill-fitting for a lady of her status to be married to an entertainer?"

Cyril slapped his forehead. "I thought you were done with all that magic nonsense? Are you still delirious from your fever?"

"This is an outrage!" Burst Mr. Menkes in fury. His face was as red as a beetroot now and his wife looked as though she was going to faint. Tyki smiled inwardly. Wouldn't Road have loved to be part of this drama…

Needless to say, screw all the formalities. Mr. Menkes was too furious to get any sentence out properly and insisted on leaving, which technically gave him the upper hand since he could say he was the one who turned Tyki Mikk down and not the other way round. Madam Menkes was white in the face, paler than her powders and furs while Elizabeth remained rather silent the whole way through.

As Cyril tried his best to send them off courteously, Tyki only felt a slight pang of guilt for the young lady. His apologetic eyes searched for hers, trying to tell her he really did not mean for things to turn out so ugly. At the door, she only glanced his way hurriedly behind her father's reproachful back and gave him a small smile, as if understanding the guilt in his eyes.

"Take care, Sir Mikk."

She would have said something more, had not her father been in such a rage and her mother looking like the dead, Tyki knew. _'Poor girl. She didn't deserve all this. But better the engagement failed than her having to suffer for the rest of her life with me as an unloving husband.'_

Road came running up as Cyril closed the door. "So how did it go?"

"Perfect." Cyril spat with poison. "Tyki, what were you thinking? That was not a very smart thing to do."

"I have the right to refuse, don't I? This is my life we're talking about."

"This isn't about your rights, it's about the name of the Noah household. And for another thing, who in the name of God are you in love with now?"

"Oops. Tyki did you tell them about…?"

"Road, stay out of this." Cyril said sternly to her.

Tyki looked away without answering. "It doesn't matter. It's not like my love will ever be returned anyway."

"Then why did you give up this chance? I specifically chose a well-educated lady of class, with enough wealth to her name and looks to match! And that's saying something, because she's quite a rare beauty!"

"Mine is far more beautiful, in my opinion."

"And rich? Is your so-called love wealthy?"

"Uh no. Enough to live on I guess."

"Blast it all! So it's some poor beggar you've fallen for? Not even from a family of class?"

"Nope. A former slave, in fact."

Cyril fumed with frustration. "Brother dear… I've put up with a lot of your antics but this is… This is just…"

"Unacceptable? I know. In fact I am aware of the consequences. I shall be taking my leave, brother. I have to look for a new assistant now that I'm starting my magic show again."

"Tyki, I'm disappointed in you!" Cyril raised his voice at his younger brother, who was leaving. The mention of an assistant seemed to ring a bell in his memory though, and his eyes widened at the realization.

"Could it be…? Oh my God…"

* * *

"And now you're advertising for a new assistant? Wonderful, just wonderful, why is it you can never keep your helpers?" His manager complained as he tapped the desk impatiently.

"Hey, it's not my fault. Shouldn't you be glad I'm not quitting my job after all?" Tyki retorted.

"Taking long hiatuses is no different than quitting entirely." The manager frowned.

"Face it, my show earns you a lot too. So stop complaining, I'm sure a new one will show up soon. There should be a few coming in for the interview today."

It had only been a couple of days since that disastrous affair. Tyki had since left the Noah Manor, taken up permanent residence in his other, smaller house next to his performance theater and advertised for a new assistant. Although he wasn't so sure he wanted a new one, his manager insisted that the show would not be complete even if it meant a bit of a hassle to get one. Sometimes he could never understand his manager's temper, so unpredictable. One minute irritated that he had to get a new assistant and the next, frustrated that he hadn't got one yet.

Upon returning to his other house, the one he had never set foot into since the day Kanda left, Tyki set about cleaning up the place but gave up almost immediately. Because everything was left just as they had been the last time Kanda had been here. Tyki wanted it to remain as such.

It did not mean everything was messy though. Kanda hadn't left the way Maria, his predecessor had. Oddly, everything was kept rather tidy, as if Kanda had just been packing to leave for a very long holiday, instead of running away from this place forever. Many times since he returned, Tyki had entered the small, quiet room and laid on the neat bed, with the sheets drawn over him, sheets that had been folded neatly by his former assistant before he left. Many times too, he fell asleep inhaling the faint and fast-fading scent left behind by the stoic Japanese, and descended into dreams of the younger man. Only this time, they weren't nightmares anymore.

They still hurt, those dreams. Because in them, Kanda would either never respond to him, or Tyki would be calling out towards him and Kanda would never turn around or allow Tyki to see his face. Or the most bittersweet ones would be the ones where Kanda would let Tyki love him, and Tyki would wake up from them knowing that those dreams were never going to come true anymore.

But at least, coming to terms with his own inner turmoil freed him from the chains of those guilt-ridden nightmares. And Tyki accepted the fact that Kanda was no longer there with him, but he could still savor his scent in his memories and dreams.

He missed him so much. But Tyki knew that he would have to let go, the day his new assistant arrived. He would need to move on.

'_Forget about me, Tyki. Just forget about me.'_

"_I'm sorry, Kanda. I'm going to have to ignore that request. I could never forget you, but I'll move on, for your sake. If I live on as a respectable man, worthy of you, do you think you would come back and love me again?"_

A knock interrupted his thoughts. His manager crossed over to the door, opened it and then closed it. "You have your first applicant, a rather charming blonde."

"Alright, I'll see her. Would you be in here or…?"

"No, I'll leave. I expect to be introduced to a new assistant by tomorrow." Saying thus, the manager left the room and called for the girl to enter.

She was a sweet girl, curtseying politely as she introduced herself. Tyki liked her immediately, but told her to wait for his decision which in a few days later, he would inform her whether or not he wanted her as his assistant. Then a serious looking brunette came in, and Tyki felt sure that this one could do the job, but again, he reserved his judgment.

What was he waiting for? No matter what, it seemed as if no one would be as good as Kanda. No one would be able to replace the void he had left behind.

It was already late in the day, and there probably would not be any more applicants for today. His manager would give him an earful for this… Tyki sighed as he left his desk and crossed over to the cabinet to look for some wine he could take to calm his nerves.

Another knock, sharp and firm, rapped on the door of the study. Nonchalantly, Tyki called out. "Come in, the door's not locked."

He heard the door open and footsteps crossed into the room but he didn't bother to look up immediately as he was busy trying to locate the bottle in the dusty cabinet. The new interviewee did not seem to share his patience though, and cleared his throat impatiently.

"I'm here for the job… Sir."

Those words remained suspended in the silence between them as Tyki's heart seemed to stop for a while.

'_That voice…'_

* * *

*dramatic drum roll* Guess who?

Took me a while to get this out and when I finally did, it seemed so messy. It really seemed like a cluttered up writing desk, all strewn over with pencils and random bits of paper… Urrggh. Why was this chapter so hard to get out?

To all those who have been waiting for this, so sorry for the wait, and to my anonymous reviewers, I wish to thank all of you for the comments that you've given. Your reviews give me the motivation to go on.


	15. Chapter 15 Curtain Call

… Finally, after what? A year?

Holy crap, how long has it been since I stopped updating? I'm so sorry guys, I truly am. College has been making my life busy, and just when I thought the first semester was over, the second semester came upon me and pelted me with more assignments. For the past few months I haven't written anything that had nothing to do with Literature and haven't read anything that had nothing to do with Chemistry. And having to do an explorative study about Shakespeare's plays is… pure hell.

But with my apologies comes the final chapter of this fic! It's slightly longer, I think, because things need to be wrapped up but I hope you'll like it, people! And yes, I'm very glad to be back writing fanfiction. It's such a nice change from Shakespeare.

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Curtain Call**

"I'm here for the job… Sir."

Suddenly everything went still, his heartbeat beginning to pound harder and harder, and he drew slow breaths. His hand paused over the wine bottle he had been reaching for and he felt his whole body go numb.

'_That voice…'_

He dared not turn around, fearing that what would meet his sight would not be what he was expecting. But that voice, that unmistakable familiar tone that he had been recalling in his dreams for so long, and longing to hear with his very own ears once again, coming from those lips he used to kiss.

Tyki turned around quickly, to look at the person standing behind him. His heart was hurting painfully, he wanted so badly for it to be him.

'_Oh God, please let it be…'_

"Kanda." The name left his lips in an undertone, as he couldn't help uttering it upon realizing who really was standing right there, in the room with him, with him again, finally.

He found it hard to breathe, his heart seemed to have paused for the moment as he stared somewhat fearfully at the young man that had just entered his room. The dreadful feeling crept up upon him, gripping him like dark terror, and he realized he was afraid.

Afraid that his mind was playing tricks on him, that it was all in his imagination, and if he allowed himself to feel overjoyed at the thought of Kanda being here, right now, standing barely a few meters away from him, so close he could just rush over and touch him, he would be disappointed to the point of heartbreak upon finding it to be just a dream.

But even if it were a dream, Tyki found himself abandoning all restraint and closing the distance between him and his lover, apparition or not, and sweeping him into a tight embrace, as if afraid that if he didn't hold him tightly enough, he would vanish.

A slight gasp at his shoulder told him that the other person was shocked, but he didn't pull away. All this gave him more hope that this was happening, for real, but Tyki didn't really care now. Illusion or not, just having Kanda in his arms once again made him feel so good, that even if his mind was really losing it Tyki would allow himself to go insane, to hallucinate, to accept the delusions, just as long as he could remain in this bliss of being together with Kanda again.

Yet, Kanda felt so _real._

Tyki ventured to ask, his voice barely a whisper, to confirm what he was so afraid of.

"Are you, really, my Kanda?"

'_Fool, a fake hallucination wouldn't exactly tell you he wasn't real, right?'_

To hell with delusions, he just wanted to hear his voice again. He just wanted the person he was embracing right now to open his mouth and assure him that he was, in fact, the real Kanda.

The younger man shifted uncomfortably in his arms and muttered into his shoulder. "I'm… I'm not too sure about being _yours_ but at least you've got my name right. Considering how useless you seem to have become."

Oh God, even the cynical attitude and tone was Kanda. Tyki pulled away slightly to take a good look at his face, a sight he had been yearning to see for a long time now. He searched those dark eyes, looking for any sign that would hint to him that he was hallucinating but found none. Yet he was still too stunned for words. All he could utter now was a whispered "You've come back."

He pulled him into a close embrace once more, earning a yelp of discomfort from the other but all he could think about now was how happy he was, how unbelievably overjoyed he felt right now, how painfully he had missed Kanda.

And how much he loved him.

"Oh Kanda, my Kanda. It's you, Kanda, it's you." He repeated over and over again.

Oh heavens, he was back. Back here with him, in his arms, and he was holding him, for real this time. He came back to him, Kanda came back to him, his Kanda was back with him again!

But no sooner had he dared to hope that this was going to be a happy ending, the guilt in his heart surfaced, and Tyki couldn't help but feel a dreaded question tug at his heartstrings.

Hesitantly, he asked, "Why did you come back?"

He had hurt him, hurt him terribly; physically, emotionally, and mentally. He had let Kanda go with the hope that he would find healing elsewhere, somewhere without him, the one who had wounded him so dreadfully. Although his selfish desire was to have Kanda back with him, and he was dying on the inside without him, yet Tyki wasn't sure that Kanda would have already forgiven him when he himself hadn't forgiven his own self yet.

There was no reason for him to come back, was there? What had he not done to make Kanda's life a living hell? What was there for Kanda, back here, when he was already free? To be honest, Tyki couldn't recall much of Kanda's opinions on the matter, for Kanda had never really told him how he felt before, and Tyki's heart sank further.

'_There's no reason for the real Kanda to come back, is there?'_

Tyki closed his eyes. He pulled away just as he was about to hear the answer, head bowed low, but his hands remained firm on the younger man's shoulders, as if unable to let him go, and he interrupted before the reply was made.

"That's alright, you don't have to answer. Because I know there's no way the Kanda I know would willingly return to me, and I don't blame him. No, because I'm the one to blame."

He rested his head wearily on the other man's shoulder, his grip still firm and tight, as he felt tears come to his eyes.

"Kanda, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, and I know I can never ever expect you to forgive me even though I want you back with me so bad."

"And why not?" Came the sharp reply.

Tyki's eyes snapped open. Kanda's own hands came up and firmly pushed him away so that he could look into his eyes.

"Why can't you believe that I'm back? Why can't you get it into your fucking messed up head, that I'm back?"

'_Why can't I…?'_

"Kanda…"

"Why haven't you forgiven yourself, even after I've forgiven you?"

"You…"

"For God's sake, I wouldn't be back here if I didn't want to! Do you know how painful it was, these past months, living alone?"

Tyki blinked in surprise. He could see glistening tears forming in Kanda's dark eyes, whether from rage or sorrow or pain, he couldn't tell. Kanda drew closer to him and buried his face in Tyki's chest.

"Do you know how painful it was," he repeated, "Living alone… Without you?"

He could barely believe what he was hearing, but it made his hopes soar again. Tyki brought up a shaking hand to stroke Kanda's hair gently, and then to stay on his shoulders as Kanda brought a fist down to hammer on his chest.

"Damn it… Damn it… Do you know how painful it was to not be wanted anymore? Freedom felt like hell to me, it wasn't what I wanted, not that way!"

"Kanda, I only wanted…"

But he couldn't finish. Kanda was shaking violently in his arms, and he could hear his dry sobs as he cried out in rage, without tears, all the pain that he had felt since leaving Tyki, an occasional fist coming up to hit him to prove his anger at his former master. Tyki barely flinched, his body welcoming whatever thrashing Kanda had in store for him, as some form of punishment.

"You're the most selfish bastard I've ever met! What made you think that you'd be the only one hurting? Why can't you see that it hurts me to see you in pain?"

'_But I'm the one who hurt you, Kanda. How could you forgive me?'_

"I hate you for making me like this! I hate you for picking me up from the trader and giving me everything! Everything I have was given to me by you, you of all fucking people! Even my freedom, damn it!"

'_Did I really mean so much to you, Kanda?'_

"I hate the fact that I can't forget you, no matter how hard I try! I've never been so messed up over another person before!"

'_Neither could I, Kanda. Neither have I.'_

"I don't care, if you hurt me, I don't care if you make mistakes, I care if you won't love me any longer!"

Tyki wondered if Kanda was ever so open to anybody before. The Kanda he remembered seldom offered much of his opinion on matters, and suddenly Tyki realized how many mistakes he had made in the way he treated his assistant before. No, things had to change this time. He wasn't going to give up, he wasn't going to let go of him, and he was going to make sure that Kanda never ever felt bad about choosing to be with him again.

Finally Kanda stopped, pulling away from Tyki and panting heavily, worn out from the furious lashing of words he had just given him. Tyki wondered if it was safe enough to talk to him already.

"Um, Kanda?"

"What, fool? If you have any more sad excuses for not wanting me here, I'll… I'll…"

"You'll do what? Leave me?" He asked gently. Gosh he had been such an idiot, how could he have ever asked Kanda to leave him before?

Kanda scoffed. "If I leave you again, you'll probably degrade into a useless sniveling alcoholic wimp again. And then I'll have to come back and haul your drunken ass back here. Again."

Tyki smirked, although he had a feeling he shouldn't. Somehow he felt his spirits calm down, and he seemed to be thinking clearly again. "So it was you, who brought me back to Noah Manor?"

There was a pause. "Yes." Kanda muttered, finally.

Another pause, but this was broken by a bout of laughter from Tyki. Kanda looked at him in surprise. "What's so funny? Damn you, what's so funny?"

Tyki hugged him again, though truth be told his grip had never really loosened on Kanda ever since he entered the room. "Kanda, forgive me. All this while you were gone, I haven't been myself. I've been a fool, I couldn't think straight. I blamed myself, to the point of being suicidal, about us. But Kanda, if you truly want to come back to me, I promise you, I'll never ever hurt you again."

Arms came round his back and gripped his coat tightly, returning his embrace. "Baka… If you'd just listen to me instead of ranting on in a depressingly sickening attitude, you'd have heard me say… _I'm here for the job_."

Tyki stroked Kanda's face gently. "Can I kiss you?"

"What? No, didn't you hear what I said? I'm here for the job, damn it! Are you deaf or something?"

Tyki laughed softly. "Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. But can I kiss you, Kanda? Before I wouldn't have asked, but now, things have to change. We're equals now, aren't we? And your opinion matters most when it comes to our relationship."

Kanda pulled away slightly. There was a slight tinge on his cheeks as he avoided Tyki's gaze. "I… I'm alright with… I mean… You don't have to worry about what I think… I…"

"You know, I think I've been rather selfish. It's going to change this time, Kanda, but for now, I'm going to be selfish and want your passion, because I've been waiting too long to love you again."

Tyki pulled him into a kiss, lips gently but passionately nipping at Kanda's own, wanting more and more of his taste. It felt so good; he had sorely missed his taste, the feel of his lips on his own, the warmth of his mouth as he slipped a tongue in to tease Kanda further, glad to hear him moan in response. He kissed rougher, desiring more, and then he realized he wouldn't be satisfied with just a kiss.

Kanda broke it off, pulling away with a furious blush, panting heavily. "What the… I didn't say…"

Tyki tilted his chin up to look at him with a smile. "You did say you were alright with whatever I did."

"Not exactly…" Kanda looked away in embarrassment. It felt unbearably hot in here, and he fingered his collar as if trying to loosen it a bit.

"Well then, if I can do anything I want… Kanda, I want to make love to you."

Kanda looked at him in shock. "What? Now? Here?"

Tyki moved closer to him, whispering in his ear. "I've waited so long, Kanda. Right now I'm just so happy you're back with me once more, that I can't wait to claim you again, to make you mine."

"No… I mean… Stop, someone might come in!" Kanda argued frantically as he tried to stop Tyki from nipping playfully at his neck.

"No one's going to come in, you're the last of the applicants, aren't you? And it's late, my manager's probably gone back."

Kanda looked everywhere but at Tyki as he tried to come up with an excuse for not wanting to do anything here but Tyki closed in on his lips with another kiss, this one more hungry than the first. Any protest that was beginning to come from Kanda died out in the kiss, Kanda succumbing to the lustful ministrations of the skilled magician.

Tyki wrapped an arm around Kanda's waist, steering him towards the direction of the desk, where as soon as they reached he pinned Kanda down onto its surface, one hand tangled in his long hair while the other supported his waist, lips still locked in a fierce exchange of passion, each of them desperately needing air but wanting each other more.

He felt Kanda's fingers combing through his own hair, and his other hand holding on desperately to his back, as they broke apart, the need for oxygen triumphing over their passion momentarily. Kanda's head fell backwards, eyes closed as he tried to gasp for breath but barely had he gulped down a couple of mouthfuls Tyki was upon him again, ravishing his mouth lustfully, causing Kanda to moan inside Tyki's mouth.

His fingers found Kanda's shirt, and swiftly began removing the buttons to get rid of the offending clothing. As soon as the first two buttons came off Tyki's hand was inside the shirt, feeling and touching his chest, making Kanda's grip tighten on Tyki's coat as he squirmed slightly at his touch.

Kanda knew he was unable to fight Tyki's advances off, his own need for pleasure overriding his stubborn insistence and egoistic pride. He had missed his touch, although he would never admit it outright, but he had longed for this loving feel, this warmth, this passion, during the time they were apart.

It was getting too hot, and Tyki was about to pull away to remove his own shirt when Kanda pulled him into a deeper kiss. If Tyki could smirk, he would. Oh my, Kanda must want him really badly as well.

"Jesus Christ, what in the name of God are you doing, Tyki Mikk?" A shout echoed from behind them.

They broke apart in shock, Kanda staring behind Tyki with a shocked expression on his face as Tyki turned to recognize his manager with a red face and steam positively coming out from his ears. The atmosphere seemed to change into an awkward fog of heat, as Tyki felt himself trapped between two fuming vents of hot air waiting to erupt.

"Oh good evening! I thought you'd had gone back." Tyki said pleasantly, much to Kanda's surprise.

His manager spluttered. "What… You… Mikk, what in the name of…"

"I'm in the middle of an interview here, my dear man, so if you'd kindly excuse us, we're nearly done for the day." Tyki rose and strode over to his stunned manager, and ushered the man to the door, pushing him none too gently outside. As he closed the door, he remembered to tell him something.

"Oh, I already know who I want for my assistant, so no worries. The show can start in about three days. Good evening to you, again."

He closed the door in the manager's still spluttering face and locked it. Then he turned with a sigh and strode briskly towards Kanda but was stopped by a hand held at arm's length, hindering his progress. Tyki raised an eyebrow but the look on Kanda's face was pure fury, combined with a hint of embarrassment.

"You said no one would come in!" He spluttered, his face as red as the manager's had been.

Tyki sighed again. "I didn't expect him to linger around. So can we…"

"No."

"But Kanda…"

"No! Not here!"

Tyki frowned, and then it turned into a smirk. "Not here, you say? Fine then."

With that he reached for Kanda's outstretched hand and pulled him away from the desk with a yelp. "The heck! Where are you taking me?" Kanda cried out as his other free hand was trying desperately to tidy his clothes and button his shirt.

Tyki didn't answer, neither did he loosen his hold on Kanda's wrist. He kept his grip as he used the other hand to lock the door behind him as they left the building and ventured onto the streets. Only when they were out in the chilly evening air did Tyki loosen his hold a little and Kanda wrenched his hand away from him in embarrassment.

They remained silent, as Tyki strode down the street, Kanda following close beside him. But each cherished the other's presence, and although the walk was not very long, Tyki felt that it was ages before his house came in view. It seemed to take him ages to unlock his front door as well but once it was open, Tyki went in and pulled Kanda in after him, and without waiting to close the door he slammed Kanda against the wall and began kissing him fiercely again.

"The door… Damn it, wait, will you?" Kanda gasped as he tried to close the door, just in case some passer-by caught them in the act again.

Tyki made an annoyed click and slammed the door furiously. Then he swept Kanda up in his arms and headed for his bedroom, kicking open the door with force and before Kanda knew it, he was pinned onto the sheets, Tyki's lips at his neck, sucking and biting passionately. All Kanda's efforts in re-buttoning his shirt was wasted as Tyki removed them even quicker than before, exposing his chest and also the ugly mark branded upon it.

Kanda bit his lower lip as he tried to stop himself from crying out, Tyki's lips moving from his collarbone down to his chest, placing wet kisses all over his skin. His hand jerked slightly as if to push Tyki away from the scar on his chest but stopped suddenly.

'_No, it's alright. It doesn't matter anymore; I won't be shackled down by this mark any longer.'_

But easier said than done, Kanda felt fear grip his heart and closed his eyes. Somehow he still felt uneasy about exposing the shameful mark to the one making love to him now.

"Kanda."

Tyki's gentle, reassuring tone made him open his eyes to look at him. His calm, amber eyes were filled with concern as he gently stroked Kanda's face.

"I know you're scared, insecure maybe. But I promise you, Kanda, I swear, I'll never let anyone or anything hurt you ever again, neither will I hurt you as I did before. You won't have to hold back around me any longer, you should just be yourself. And this…"

He moved his hand and carefully placed it over the mark. Kanda sharply inhaled as he felt Tyki's palm cover the ugly sight but allowed him to caress it. Tyki moved closer and placed a kiss on the scar.

"This doesn't change the fact that you're perfectly beautiful in my eyes. I may not be able to remove it, but I hope you will allow me to erase every single blemish of your past that holds you down emotionally…"

He lifted his face and placed a chaste kiss on Kanda's lips. "… With my love, Kanda."

If Kanda had any doubts about choosing to return, he probably felt them evaporate. As he returned the kiss slowly, he felt a small shimmer of hope light up the dark shadows of his heart.

Whatever happened in the past had left scars on the both of them, but just like footprints in the sand, love, like a wave, will wash them away eventually. They just needed faith, and perseverance, and trust in each other.

'_We can make things work. Everything's going to be alright. We have each other, and it's going to be difficult, but we can work things out. Because I love this man, so much.'_

He barely felt the pain as Tyki entered him in one thrust, a cry leaving his lips as everything became so unbearably hot, and so good. His lover whispered words of reassurance into his ear, trying to calm him down but all Kanda could think about now was how right everything felt. And how much he loved this man.

He was screaming, crying with the pain and pleasure, as he came right after Tyki cried out and spilled himself deep inside him. And then they were kissing, kissing so passionately that it didn't feel like it was over, but like they were ready to do it once again.

God knows how many times he succumbed to this pleasure, and how many times Tyki made love to him over and over again, but eventually Kanda found himself panting slightly and heavy with sleep, lying in Tyki's possessive arms on the messed up sheets. It was as if Tyki was afraid that Kanda would just up and leave him in the dead of night. They talked, telling each other about the pain each had felt during the other's absence, and the more Kanda opened up to him the more Tyki felt that he had done him an injustice by sending him away.

Kanda told him about following him at a distance, his conscience not allowing him to let Tyki out of his sight, as he watched Tyki sink into a drunken stupor on the first night he left. Tyki felt oddly embarrassed at how he had behaved, and it reminded him that he still needed to return Kanda's sword to him.

Tyki told Kanda about rejecting Elizabeth, at which Kanda started in surprise, berating him for being so harsh to the poor girl. But it didn't matter already, what was his reputation worth when he could not forget the one he would throw away his image for?

And the more they shared, the closer Tyki felt he was getting to Kanda. The separation may have been painful for the both of them, but at least it brought them closer. For grief brings two hearts closer than happiness ever can, yet they were lucky enough to end their spell of pain with a reunion of bliss. And Tyki decided that even if it killed him he would just love Kanda more and more, and he hoped that this time, Kanda would respond.

"Kanda, I love you. Promise me you won't leave me again."

Kanda sighed and rested his head against the man's neck. "If you pay me well enough, I won't."

"Pay you? Why?"

The Japanese raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "I'm not your slave any more, remember? So I expect some form of payment."

"Oh dear, whatever made you think that I'd be paying you wages?"

"The heck? You're not?"

Tyki chuckled and planted a kiss on Kanda's forehead. "No, why should I? When everything I own belongs to you too. How much you want, whenever you want it, I'll give you."

Kanda bit his lip and muttered. "You… Don't have to… I'm satisfied with a little."

"That's going to change, alright? I don't ever want to make you feel like you're beneath me."

Kanda stifled a yawn as he shifted his aching body uncomfortably. "Tell me there isn't a fucking performance tomorrow. Why the heck did you need to be so rough?"

"Sorry darling, I find it hard to restrain myself around you."

They fell into silence, each drowning in the scent of the other, basking in the warmth of their bodies entwined so closely. Tyki however, kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling, his mind busy with thoughts of changes to be made. He resolved to do much, and ensure that Kanda's happiness would be his priority, no matter what.

Because he couldn't risk losing him again.

"Hey, Kanda? Another thing…"

Kanda muttered sleepily against his chest. "What?"

"Call me by my name from now on, alright?"

He felt the younger man nod slowly against his chest and felt his fingers tighten against the arm he had slung around Kanda's slender waist.

"I'll… Try… You know, I…"

Kanda paused in the middle of what he was about to say, as if he had fallen asleep. For a moment or so Tyki wondered if that was the case, when Kanda spoke up again.

"I love you, Tyki."

If he could possibly feel any happier than he already was with having Kanda back, he felt a surge of joy at those sweet, sweet words he had been dreaming of hearing for a long time. Kanda moved slightly in his arms and as an afterthought, muttered sleepily.

"I… I wouldn't be telling you this… If I weren't so sleepy… So… So just forget I said anything."

Tyki smiled and pulled him a little closer, taking in the scent that was Kanda, finally his again after so much waiting. The boy had fallen asleep, this time for real, and Tyki found himself following soon after, drifting into the most peaceful sleep he'd had had in months.

* * *

Sunlight fell across his eyes and nudged him awake gently. Tyki opened his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt positively rested and satisfied, a drastic change from the tired mornings he had been welcomed with for quite a while now, mornings that heralded lonely days, followed by nightmares of losing Kanda.

Not anymore. Kanda had come back, and Tyki felt alive again.

He rolled over to check if Kanda was still asleep and his gaze fell on the ruffled bed sheets beside him.

Empty.

Tyki sat up straight. He cast a quick glance around the room but there was no sign of that familiar face. Neither was there any sign that he had been here, none of his clothes or anything remained.

His heart seemed to have stopped as thoughts raced through his head. He couldn't have been imagining it, could he? Last night, it felt so real, Kanda was in his arms again, he had made love to him, Kanda, Kanda, Kanda!

He practically leapt out of the bed and pulled on his pants, ignoring his shirt completely as he dashed out of the room, calling for Kanda at the top of his voice as he stormed through the corridor.

'_No, no, no it can't be, it couldn't have been… Kanda, Kanda where are you?'_

"Kanda!" He called desperately as he searched the other rooms, his heart pounding so painfully in his chest. _'Please no… Please!'_

He entered the kitchen and found a welcome sight. Kanda was cutting something with a knife at the table, and he looked up to see a disheveled Tyki, out of breath and looking as if he had just seen a ghost.

"Oh, _ohayo_, did you have a nightmare or…"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Tyki strode over and hugged him tightly. With a yelp, Kanda dropped the knife.

"Hey, watch it! I'm holding a knife, for God's sake! What the heck is wrong with you?"

Kanda started to worry when Tyki didn't answer but just held him there like that, trembling slightly. "Hey, is everything…"

"Don't do that again, Kanda."

Kanda raised an eyebrow. "Don't do what? Prepare breakfast?"

"No, don't leave me."

Kanda rolled his eyes and pushed Tyki away. "You. Have some serious depression issues. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Now let me get back to fixing something to eat."

He led Tyki to a chair and forced him to sit down. "If you do anything stupid again I swear I'll…"

Tyki smiled weakly. He knew Kanda was trying to make him feel better, and he appreciated that. "You'll what? Run away again?"

Kanda thought for a while. "No, I won't let you… Kiss me again."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. I'm already considering getting a restraining order. My body hurts all over, you know?" But he had a smirk on his face, just to let Tyki know he was joking.

'_We need communication, and we need time. But we have all the time in the world, and we have each other. And we'll never be apart again.'_

* * *

The audience roared with applause to welcome the next act. Backstage, Kanda took a deep breath as he tried to calm down his nerves. Tyki came up behind him.

"Everything alright?"

Kanda nodded dumbly. Show business really wasn't his thing but for Tyki's sake, he had to pull through. He had to go on first this time, and introduce Tyki. He wasn't really sure he could do it. He glanced at the magician and noticed his bow tie wasn't straight.

"Che, you really can't do anything without me, can you?" He muttered as he straightened it for him.

Tyki suddenly put a hand behind his neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss, his tongue pushing past Kanda's lips and savoring his taste, ignoring Kanda's futile protests.

After a short struggle, Kanda managed to escape and splutter in rage. "What the heck? We're in the middle of a show!"

"Do your best, Kanda."

The young man blinked a couple of times, trying to fight the embarrassing flush of red slowly emerging on his pale face and then turned away to go onstage. The magician watched him stumble out and wondered if he would be alright.

Kanda fervently hoped the audience would not notice the blush creeping onto his cheeks as he nearly ran onstage in a fluster. Tyki couldn't help smiling to himself upon seeing his assistant's antics and then at Kanda's cue, he strode briskly onstage to join him.

He wouldn't care about what the world would say, what everyone would think. This was the one he fell in love with, and this was the person he would live for from now on. Kanda had taught him how to live, and taught him how to love.

And there was nothing else he could do now but fall even more in love, with his lovely assistant, no matter how much Kanda would deny the fact.

* * *

As usual, I am actually not satisfied with this being the end of this fic, I really enjoyed writing it, yet I feel that my writing skills have not done it justice. It is harder than I thought to write fluff. My lecturer would be able to find so many faults with this, I'm sure. (Or it could just be me and my low self-esteem.)

A heartfelt thank you to all those of you out there who have reviewed, or even read my fic all the way till the end, you make my life as a fanfic writer absolute heaven. There's nothing better a writer would like to hear than response from the readers, or just the thought of knowing that there are people out there reading your work. =) Really, I love you guys, so much! (And I am so sorry for leaving this hanging for so long!)

Tell me what you thought about this final chapter, or just drop a message so I can hear from you guys. I'd like to know what's been going on during my absence. To anyone whose previous reviews or messages I did not reply, so sorry! I've really been too busy until I hadn't had the time to check my inbox (Much less reply all of it) properly for the past six months. An explorative study can do that to you. I found myself sleeping at 3 – 5 am in the mornings and waking up at 7 to rush to college and hand in just one more draft to my lecturer. And then there's the college magazine, which I happen to be chief editor for (Oh God, I just take more troubles upon myself, don't I?) that gives me hell too. It is not easy to run a magazine, argh!

Wow, this IS long. Well, please do review! I'll look forward to reading your reviews after my exams (Yes, I am in the middle of exams right now but considering how busy the last 6 months was, this will actually be a more free period than next semester. Besides, there's only so much of Chemistry I could take. So yes, I'M PROCRASTINATING.)

P.S. Might work on a sequel, or polish up this fic again someday. There are minor details that have not been resolved, although I'm not sure how many of you noticed. Once again, thank you so much for reading!


End file.
